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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Weddings what a farce.


Youri McAnespie

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Weddings can be as expensive or cheap as you want them to be.

Nobody really wants a gift nowadays, so my approach is that if they're feeding me, stick enough cash in a card to at least make a dent in what a meal would have cost you. If they're only inviting me to the evening do, then it's a token cash gift in an envelope.

Got three weddings booked in from Easter to mid-July. All day jobs in Bury & Liverpool that I'm really looking forward to and an evening only affair in Northamptonshire that I'm less enthused about.

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19 minutes ago, athywhite1958 said:

It's gone down 10 quid in a few posts

Because I ain't paying ten quid for a few vol-au-vontes.

I'm not not going, if covid is still about I will claim I'm riddled with it. Weddings an excuse to ponce money and gifts for a farce that endures about five years before the girl nobs the windowlicker or the bloke nobs a prossie.

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Going to my first wedding this summer in years. I'm of an age where everyone has had them, stayed together or been divorced.

This one is for my cousin who I've met about 5 times. She's a Dr, so is her to be husband. It's at the Liberal Club in Victoria. Great as it's close to home, we have a Slaters in Bromley, so Ā£250 on a new suit, Ā£50 on on pressie, all good.

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7 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Going to my first wedding this summer in years. I'm of an age where everyone has had them, stayed together or been divorced.

This one is for my cousin who I've met about 5 times. She's a Dr, so is her to be husband. It's at the Liberal Club in Victoria. Great as it's close to home, we have a Slaters in Bromley, so Ā£250 on a new suit, Ā£50 on on pressie, all good.

I thought you'd be dripping in whistles and trips to Moss Bros unnecessary. What do you wear to these showbiz digs, NB and skinny jeans and a jacket with a t-shirt?

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I'll Trump you a few quid.Ā  One of my nephews is having a stag do in Sheffield on the 5th March, 4 weeks later he's getting married in Vegas and he's having a wedding reception in Great Yarmouth where he lives.Ā  This is the most expensive wedding I'm ever going to witness In my life.Ā  The hotel in Yarmouth is close on Ā£300 just for me over night.Ā  right on the front and all my family are in it.

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7 minutes ago, Breightmet Boy said:

I'll Trump you a few quid.Ā  One of my nephews is having a stag do in Sheffield on the 5th March, 4 weeks later he's getting married in Vegas and he's having a wedding reception in Great Yarmouth where he lives.Ā  This is the most expensive wedding I'm ever going to witness In my life.Ā  The hotel in Yarmouth is close on Ā£300 just for me over night.Ā  right on the front and all my family are in it.

Go up to him, all friendly like, then headbutt him and stamp his bollocks.

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5 hours ago, athywhite1958 said:

Nowt wrong with good old fashioned hiring top hat and tails

So long as you don't finish up looking like Freddie Frinton (one for the old 'uns).

There's a picture but I can't get it on here.

Ā 

Ā 

Edited by Francis Fogarty
New shit has come to light.
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My dad paid for the open bar bill at my wedding, day after he was looking through the itemised bill for all the booze

ā€œwhat cheeky bastardā€¦.. a three course meal, bacon and sausage barms at midnight and some cheeky fucker ordered a bag of nutsā€Ā 

When I got my suit dry cleaned, in the pocket was my speech and a bag of half eaten nutsĀ 

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19 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'm going to have to spend Ā£699 on a new whistle and Ā£700 on a present. Guaranteed they'll be divorced in 6 years.

How often do you wear a suit?

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15 hours ago, Breightmet Boy said:

I'll Trump you a few quid.Ā  One of my nephews is having a stag do in Sheffield on the 5th March, 4 weeks later he's getting married in Vegas and he's having a wedding reception in Great Yarmouth where he lives.Ā  This is the most expensive wedding I'm ever going to witness In my life.Ā  The hotel in Yarmouth is close on Ā£300 just for me over night.Ā  right on the front and all my family are in it.

Are you insane? Just take a sleeping bag and doss down in a bus shelter, get a shower at the baths, probably about four quid and you could do a few laps of the pool. Take some White Cider as the gift, I think 2l of Frosty Jack is Ā£2.99.

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