Sermon Corner

[gonzo]

Your voice hasn't even broke yet and you reek of crime.

DiddleeDeeBwfc. 2012

[Spider]

1 hour ago, gonzo said:

Your voice hasn't even broke yet and you reek of crime.

DiddleeDeeBwfc. 2012

Reek of crime 

magnificent, what a day that was.

[Dr Faustus]

Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and let it be known Clayton Powys does not offer shelter to his brother. For he is a racist

[SatanGreavsie]

The King James version clearly predicts the effect our new owner would have on the fan base

1 Chronicles 5:16
And the Gadites dwelt in Gilead, in Bashan and in its villages, and in all the common-lands of Sharon within their borders.
 

Newer versions have it thus:

1 Chronicles 5:16
And the Keawyeds dwelt in Wingates, in Howfen and in its villages, and in all the common-lands of Sharon within their borders.

 

I'm not sure which WW poster this refers to - Leigh White maybe, he's threshed in a mire a few times before now

Job 41:30
His underparts are like sharp potsherds: He spreadeth as it were a threshing-wain upon the mire.

 

 

[Spider]

😁😁

[Mutley]

What do we think of the new signing Randall Williams? 
 

mut

[MickyD]

1 hour ago, Mutley said:

What do we think of the new signing Randall Williams? 
 

mut

What do we think of folk ignoring the rest of a thread and asking a question bugger all to do with the three pages?

[jeep]

What do we think of folk ignoring the rest of a thread and asking a question bugger all to do with the three pages?

[RONNIE PHILLIPS]

20 hours ago, Mutley said:

What do we think of the new signing Randall Williams? 
 

mut

Judge not that ye not be judged

Ron

[MickyD]

And Jesus said unto Mary, “Save us an Easter egg, I’ll be back on Monday!”

 

[SatanGreavsie]

It's a little known fact that Fabian Defreitas prayed to God that he would one day become a Bolton hero. In fact -and maybe he already knew this and subconsciously drew inspiration thereof -  this was already predicted in scripture:

Jeremiah 51:63
And it shall be, when thou hast made an end of reading.

[FrancisFogarty]

On 26/02/2023 at 08:49, Spider said:

Reek of crime 

magnificent, what a day that was.

Yea verily.

[SatanGreavsie]

It seems He likes Wolves, Burnley, Villa and West Ham more than us, our proud history and even our mascot!

Exodus 28:5
“And they shall take gold and blue and purple and scarlet

Isaiah 2:12
For the day of the Lord of hosts shall be upon every one that is proud, and lofty.

[Freddie Hill]

Blessed are the Cheesemakers.

[Mutley]

That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight losing my religion. 
 

REM to the apostles 

Mutters 

 

[bolty58]

Has the God botherer fucked off?

[green genie]

3 hours ago, bolty58 said:

Has the God botherer fucked off?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64790111

 

We used to get the Yehovah convention in Plymouth every year. Right pain and Plymouth Brethren still have a strong presence owning loads of the land which meant no pubs in many areas 

[MickyD]

17 hours ago, bolty58 said:

Has the God botherer fucked off?

Who are you quoting here, P? Mary? Matthew? Luke?

[bolty58]

3 hours ago, MickyD said:

Who are you quoting here, P? Mary? Matthew? Luke?

Algernon.

[bolty58]

17 hours ago, green genie said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64790111

 

We used to get the Yehovah convention in Plymouth every year. Right pain and Plymouth Brethren still have a strong presence owning loads of the land which meant no pubs in many areas 

No doubt you still get Jehovah's Rovers and Morons knocking on the front door too? We get them here.

It's a sharp "No thanks, not interested" and door closing from me. The missus wears them down by talking shite with them until they surrender with a "Look luv, we have a lot of other doors to knock on today". If I see them coming up the drive I let her answer. I get an hours peace then. Winner.

[green genie]

6 hours ago, bolty58 said:

No doubt you still get Jehovah's Rovers and Morons knocking on the front door too? We get them here.

It's a sharp "No thanks, not interested" and door closing from me. The missus wears them down by talking shite with them until they surrender with a "Look luv, we have a lot of other doors to knock on today". If I see them coming up the drive I let her answer. I get an hours peace then. Winner.

My ability to paraphrase the following was an interesting half hour when I got cornered outside once. She might to try it or quarks and neutrinos and the god particle, they aren’t keen on that one

 

Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.

"Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages? Twelve thousand years."
"Well, how fucking scientific, OK. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good. You believe the world's twelve thousand years old?"
"That's right."
"OK, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?"
"Uh huh."
"Dinosaurs."

You know, the world's twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you'd think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point:

And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin'. "What a big fucking lizard, Lord!"
"I'm sure gonna mention this in my book," Luke said.
"Well, I'm sure gonna mention it in my book," Matthew said.
But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin' dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Twelve thousand years old. But I actually asked this guy, "OK, dinosaur fossils-- how does that fit into your scheme of life? What's the deal?" He goes:

"God put those here to test our faith."
"I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. I think I've figured this out."

Does that-- That's what this guy said. Does that bother anyone here? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? Anyone have trouble sleeping restfully with that thought in their head? God's running around burying fossils: "Ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now, ha ha! I'm a prankster God. I am killing me, ho ho ho!" You know? You die, you go to St. Peter:

"Did you believe in dinosaurs?"
"Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. (trapdoor opens) Aaaaarhhh!"
"You fuckin' idiot! Flying lizards? You're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!"
"It seemed so plausible, aaaaaahh!"
"Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!"

Edited March 2, 2023 by green genie

[bolty58]

Nice one genie - raised a smile that did.

What I don't get with all of these bible thumping types is why the fuck they feel compelled to jam it down every other fuckers throat? Go and believe whatever you want matey. I really don't give a fuck. Just keep your faith to yourself eh?

[green genie]

19 hours ago, bolty58 said:

Nice one genie - raised a smile that did.

What I don't get with all of these bible thumping types is why the fuck they feel compelled to jam it down every other fuckers throat? Go and believe whatever you want matey. I really don't give a fuck. Just keep your faith to yourself eh?

Way of the world innit?

Vegans, homosexuals, Dipper fans, all want you to follow same cult as them

[bolty58]

2 hours ago, green genie said:

Way of the world innit?

Vegans, homosexuals, Dipper fans, all want you to follow same cult as them

Yep, fair comment.

I suppose I could be tarred with the same brush. I try to convert every bugger I meet down here to the one true faith.