Domestic Bliss

[London Wanderer]

1 hour ago, gonzo said:

Aye think he's forgetting to include the day long argument and back and forth about every single literal point of which way the fork should go.

 

Bet he called her a thick racist fucker on the way out 😄

[dusan nikolic]

Got bollocked yesterday for walking on the new living room carpet , because she had just hoovered it ( for the 1,000th time ) and i had made footprints . She told me to look out the front door instead of the bay window in future.

[Cheese]

1 minute ago, London Wanderer said:

Bet he called her a thick racist fucker on the way out 😄

She was neither thick nor racist, quite the opposite. Probably just called her a fucking psycho and drove back to stay at my parents for a few days. Can't really remember. It was a long time ago.

[Cheese]

 

[kent_white]

44 minutes ago, Cheese said:

I challenge you to remove the top shelf, and just pile as much as you possibly can on the bottom one. All your plates horizontal and piled on top of each other, cups all on their side or bottom down and stacked inside each other, cutlery in a bowl with another bowl on top, or even better, in a tupperware tub with the lid on. Let us know how it works out.

I've just tried it. It worked perfectly. Then I tried it again with another load as you should always be able to replicate your results in any good research project. Like I said you must just have a shit dishwasher! 

[TroySwoosh]

the key word is mental, all women are fucking nutcases

[London Wanderer]

Us men are a bit weird as well though

 let’s be honest

 have you seen this place?

[bolty58]

13 hours ago, Ani said:

Does anyone else get criticised/bollocked for things you never knew were things ?

I got told of yesterday for usu g the wrong colour of towel in the en-suite. I used a bathroom towel in there !

I was once equally admonished for not shutting the doors on the sliding wardrobe correctly. 
 

Is it sexist to say women are mad ? 

No, it's realist.

[bolty58]

11 hours ago, frank_spencer said:

To be fair that's a perfectly normal reaction to that kind of mentalist behaviour! Prongs down?!?!

If the plate made impact it might explain a few things.

[bolton_blondie]

You men think that it’s just the one thing that has made us go ape shit. It’s numerous things building up. For example - 

• Leaving random piles of screws, wires and other bits of shite everywhere 

• putting your dirty clothes ON TOP of the wash basket instead of INSIDE. 
 

• having a shave and/or shit within 0.3 seconds of us cleaning the bathroom

• Saying things like - “I’ve made the bed for you” or “I’ve loaded the washing machine for you”. 

• Playing reels on your phone on the highest sound setting whilst watching telly after being told to “put my phone down and watch”

• coming home from work and disappear for a shit for 45 minutes before re-appearing.
 

That’s just a few things. Good job he gives good D.  

[Traf]

3 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

You men think that it’s just the one thing that has made us go ape shit. It’s numerous things building up. For example - 

• Leaving random piles of screws, wires and other bits of shite everywhere 

• putting your dirty clothes ON TOP of the wash basket instead of INSIDE. 
 

• having a shave and/or shit within 0.3 seconds of us cleaning the bathroom

• Saying things like - “I’ve made the bed for you” or “I’ve loaded the washing machine for you”. 

• Playing reels on your phone on the highest sound setting whilst watching telly after being told to “put my phone down and watch”

• coming home from work and disappear for a shit for 45 minutes before re-appearing.
 

That’s just a few things. Good job he gives good D.  

I'm going to clean the bathroom, love. Do you want to use it before I do that?

See, not hard, is it.

[bolton_blondie]

7 minutes ago, Traf said:

I'm going to clean the bathroom, love. Do you want to use it before I do that?

See, not hard, is it.

And you lot always have an answer for everything 

[Traf]

Just now, bolton_blondie said:

And you lot always have an answer for everything 

That's because we're superior.

[bolton_blondie]

9 minutes ago, Traf said:

That's because we're superior.

We let you think you are. 

[bolty58]

33 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

We let you think you are. 

 Must remember this when I hear 'Can you open this jar for me?', 'can you get rid of this spider', 'can you put a new plug on my hair straightener?', 'The bathroom plug hole is blocked again (with hair, Q tips, make up, cotton wool balls etc.) - can you fix it?'.

Just letting us think we are superior. Got it.

[Whitestar]

Now this might not be all girls/women, however!!

"Half a job " or "ooh that might be fun till i get fed up". Or, "that'll be easy, ill do it if you find me the stuff"

So all them piss easy jobs that geezers can never be arsed to do end up getting done anyway because (and this is very clever on their part) its YOU that ends up doing it.

Lets take for example: jet washing a patio.

1. YOU have to trapes to a shed or garage or somewhere to find a jet washer that hasn't been used for years, find a hose pipe that is well hidden under all the other stuff that you might need one day, connect it all up and show her how to use it. Then show her again. Then demonstrate how YOU would do it.

2. She starts doing the task, she's soaking, theres shite all up your windows, your lawn is flooded and now she's bored of doing that.

3. YOU finish the task she wanted to do (see, clever) and YOU clean up all the mess she's made.

4. YOU have to put everything away again.

 Repeat steps 1-4 with, "i think I'll paint that fence"

"I fancy cutting the grass"

"Should i trim them bushes"

"I think I'll change the bedroom round"

"I'm gonna put the Christmas decci's up"

"I'm gonna defrost the freezer"

Etc etc etc.

[miamiwhite]

On 04/06/2025 at 13:11, Cheese said:

An ex I briefly lived with went ballistic and threw a plate at me, because I'd put the forks in the dishwasher prongs-down.

Sorry mate.....got to bite my prong here ☺ 

[Ani]

My missus last night was a bit too hot so started playing with the air con in the room. It is now 25 degrees in the room, me saying ‘ you started fucking about with it is the problem’ is apparently not helpful. 

[bolty58]

6 hours ago, Ani said:

My missus last night was a bit too hot so started playing with the air con in the room. It is now 25 degrees in the room, me saying ‘ you started fucking about with it is the problem’ is apparently not helpful. 

My missus worked with a girl from Calne in Wiltshire for a while. The Wiltshire lass always wanted to go back to the country and persuaded her newly acquired Boltonian husband to relocate down there. She went from Automotive Products to Harris's sausages. He went from Mather & Platt to working for some agricultural engineers who were most definitely 'agricultural'.

The flat they rented had been newly modernised and had aircon. Right by Calne church so Sunday mornings were an absolute cacophony.

We were invited down during a particularly hot summer. Sat there in shorts and singlets swigging cold beers watching football one day and Dave shouts 'Hey Marla, flick the aircon on luvvie - we're melting here'. After about 20 minutes it was like a fucking sauna. He went to check it out and the temperature was set at 27C. When he questioned her she explained that you set the temperature on the dial to todays temperature and then the system compensates to make it cool.

Same girl would spend 10-15 minutes forcing potato peelings down the kitchen sink plug hole. He used to tear his fucking hair out as he had to unblock it on a regular basis.

They are definitely not from the same place as us.