cracking flags mon.....

 

if this is global warming,will do for me....

 

im of to the beach.

 

ill keep an eye out swimming policemen.

10 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

And then all those crying starving African kids with flies on their eyes off the telly will have the last laugh when we're scratting around trying to hunt penguins and Arctic foxes...

(And before some pedant points it out, I know Penguins live solely in the Southern hemisphere).

There’s twenty odd of the fuckers up in Blackpool. I know because my lad fed them as a birthday treat a couple of years back. Zookeeper for a day at Blackpool zoo 

Fucking stank they did. We got to go “backstage” at the zoo which is basically just a load of sheds and cages full of fed-up looking creatures who are plotting to kill humans.

 

2 minutes ago, Spider said:

There’s twenty odd of the fuckers up in Blackpool. I know because my lad fed them as a birthday treat a couple of years back. Zookeeper for a day at Blackpool zoo 

Fucking stank they did. We got to go “backstage” at the zoo which is basically just a load of sheds and cages full of fed-up looking creatures who are plotting to kill humans.

 

You sicken me.

3 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

You sicken me.

I don’t care.

You flounce back in here, after a few days off to go and finish your barista training, and expect us all to pander to your left wing nonsense?

No. It won’t do.

Youre in or you’re out.

Theres only 2 types from Great Lever, steers and queers. Time to make your mind up.

2 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

In a sixty metre walk from a mate's to my house it went from light rain to a fucking monsoon.

The Lane, no exaggeration, changed from a road to a fucking river, a river I had no choice but to cross in my favourite hen's teeth adidas.

I cannot ever recall seeing such torrential rain here in the UK...

In one fucking minute I was soaked to the bone.

But, yup, Anthropogenic climate change is a myth propogated by Greta Thunberg, Al Gore and Alan Musk to flog more of his Tesla shitboxes.

The worst downpour I ever saw was one Saturday in (I think) 1963. I know it was Saturday because I went for my usual walk down Cleggs Lane in Little Hulton to the pie shop for the family lunch before the wresting came on tv.

The sky went as black as coal and then the heavens opened. Sheltered in the pie shop and watched Cleggs Lane become the Mississippi. 
Anyway, Greta’s Mum wasn’t even a twinkle in her grandads eye so not sure why she is relevant.

I do believe in global warming though and I voted remain.

It's spelled 'Barrister'...

Just because you've moved to some 'Whites Only' enclave...

A total sideways move - akin to a Transfer from Rotherham to Mansfield...

I'll be gone for good from this shithole soon.

I don't want COPD from the nightly firing up at Raikes Lane.

I want to swim in the sea every day and shag Finnish and Spanish girls and climb real mountains, not traipse up litter strewn hills with hordes of Superdry and McKenzie clad tramps - all of whom smoke.

2 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

It's spelled 'Barrister'...

Just because you've moved to some 'Whites Only' enclave...

A total sideways move - akin to a Transfer from Rotherham to Mansfield...

I'll be gone for good from this shithole soon.

I don't want COPD from the nightly firing up at Raikes Lane.

I want to swim in the sea every day and shag Finnish and Spanish girls and climb real mountains, not traipse up litter strewn hills with hordes of Superdry and McKenzie clad tramps - all of whom smoke.

Blackpool is very “you”

I'd move to Bispham or Clevelys like a shot, unless you live in somewhere Trumpton-esque like Edgeworth, Bolton is invariably a shithole.

At least you have the sea in the former places mentioned.

Arrived in Gloucester earlier this evening. Now I know how Dr. Foster felt. 

Lancs completely flooded 

Was doing 20mph couldn't see a thing 

Gonzo says there's no such thing as bad weather.

11 hours ago, Spider said:

There’s twenty odd of the fuckers up in Blackpool. I know because my lad fed them as a birthday treat a couple of years back. Zookeeper for a day at Blackpool zoo 

Fucking stank they did. We got to go “backstage” at the zoo which is basically just a load of sheds and cages full of fed-up looking creatures who are plotting to kill humans.

 

Lies fuckin lies. They weren’t penguins,it  was little Whitt in a costume in the Bavarian Bird early release program 

15 hours ago, White on Tyne said:

Arrived in Gloucester earlier this evening. Now I know how Dr. Foster felt. 

I was there on Tuesday. What a fucking dump.

16 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'd move to Bispham or Clevelys like a shot, unless you live in somewhere Trumpton-esque like Edgeworth, Bolton is invariably a shithole.

At least you have the sea in the former places mentioned.

Bispham is just an extention to Blackpool. Last visited 18 months ago to see my mother. She lives a few streets down from the sea front.

Cleveleys is spot on. Nice busy town. Used to live on rossall promenade, a upside-down house... stones throw from the beach.

Spent many of evenings (probably most nights if the weather was fair) sat out on the balcony having a smoke and a drink with me dad. Fishermen lined up through the night. The odd boy racer booming down in their souped up puntos/clios. 

One place I probably miss the most tbf.

 

 

16 minutes ago, wanderer1984 said:

Bispham is just an extention to Blackpool. Last visited 18 months ago to see my mother. She lives a few streets down from the sea front.

Cleveleys is spot on. Nice busy town. Used to live on rossall promenade, a upside-down house... stones throw from the beach.

Spent many of evenings (probably most nights if the weather was fair) sat out on the balcony having a smoke and a drink with me dad. Fishermen lined up through the night. The odd boy racer booming down in their souped up puntos/clios. 

One place I probably miss the most tbf.

 

 

I made the mistake of visiting Redbank Road about ten years ago...

Chips there at the end of the illuminations was a must in the 80's.

We'd have a week or two there just before we went back to school (in a hotel or holiday flat, not the chippy).

My childhood memories were of bucket and spade and postcard shops, Italian cafes unchanged since the 50's (Bolty would've loved them), quaint B+B's, Ice Cream Parlours, Fish and Chip Shops with backrooms for eating off plates, amusement arcades, jewellers shops...

Jesus, it favvered Bradford Street in Bolton.

Grubby HMOs and bedsits, scummy Kebab shops, Bargain Boozes with the booze behind plexiglass - it was a fucking dump.

Used to like that small fair at Cleveleys, maybe before your time.

My mam and dad would stop for a drink at a really nice pub in Cleveleys, that pub also had stuff to keep kids entertained.

Bispham around Uncle Tom's Cabin and The Boating Pool used to be nice.

Loved that amusements with the monkey on the trapeze...

You're right, it's like Skid row now.

Edited September 10, 20214 yr by Youri McAnespie

11 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I made the mistake of visiting Redbank Road about ten years ago...

Chips there at the end of the illuminations was a must in the 80's.

We'd have a week or two there just before we went back to school (in a hotel or holiday flat, not the chippy).

My childhood memories were of bucket and spade and postcard shops, Italian cafes unchanged since the 50's (Bolty would've loved them), quaint B+B's, Ice Cream Parlours, Fish and Chip Shops with backrooms for eating off plates, amusement arcades, jewellers shops...

Jesus, it favvered Bradford Street in Bolton.

Grubby HMOs and bedsits, scummy Kebab shops, Bargain Boozes with the booze behind plexiglass - it was a fucking dump.

Used to like that small fair at Cleveleys, maybe before your time.

My mam and dad would stop for a drink at a really nice pub in Cleveleys, that pub also had stuff to keep kids entertained.

Bispham around Uncle Tom's Cabin and The Boating Pool used to be nice.

Loved that amusements with the monkey on the trapeze...

You're right, it's like Skid row now.

Its not hard to cook fish & chips but that chippy somehow manages to fuck it up. Would only go out of ease with it being close to my mums (lazy) and every time wished I hadn't bothered. Used to go to a little chippy just out of Cleveleys. Would do me Yorkshire Fish cakes... a 90p bargain if I phoned up and placed a order.

A lot of work has been done on the sea front in the last 10 years or so but aye I remember the small fair by the roundabout. 

Lived in this area for about 5 years but like you we had holidays here... usually in October. Used to caravan at Marton mere.

Remember going to Cleveleys... queuing outside that B&M (first in the uk?) as a kid. My mum buying loads of stuff for Christmas.

Arcades in Blackpool (coral Island), the lights, looking up at the tower (too poor to ever go in). crabbing off the piers (north and central, never south). Mooching around the pleasure Beach (was only ever allowed on one ride of my choice... no more). Was all good fun.

It's not until you grow up and re visit that you realise what a shithole places actually are. Blackpool as a kid was paradise. Living on Hornby Road 10/15 years later was shite and humbling. It did however give me opportunity to make enough and get myself out while I could.

I'll always have fond memories of Cleveleys though.

 

16 minutes ago, wanderer1984 said:

Its not hard to cook fish & chips but that chippy somehow manages to fuck it up. Would only go out of ease with it being close to my mums (lazy) and every time wished I hadn't bothered. Used to go to a little chippy just out of Cleveleys. Would do me Yorkshire Fish cakes... a 90p bargain if I phoned up and placed a order.

A lot of work has been done on the sea front in the last 10 years or so but aye I remember the small fair by the roundabout. 

Lived in this area for about 5 years but like you we had holidays here... usually in October. Used to caravan at Marton mere.

Remember going to Cleveleys... queuing outside that B&M (first in the uk?) as a kid. My mum buying loads of stuff for Christmas.

Arcades in Blackpool (coral Island), the lights, looking up at the tower (too poor to ever go in). crabbing off the piers (north and central, never south). Mooching around the pleasure Beach (was only ever allowed on one ride of my choice... no more). Was all good fun.

It's not until you grow up and re visit that you realise what a shithole places actually are. Blackpool as a kid was paradise. Living on Hornby Road 10/15 years later was shite and humbling. It did however give me opportunity to make enough and get myself out while I could.

I'll always have fond memories of Cleveleys though.

 

TOP TIP

if you read that in the voice of John Cooper Clarke or Alan Bennett, it’s much better.

1 hour ago, wanderer1984 said:

Its not hard to cook fish & chips but that chippy somehow manages to fuck it up. Would only go out of ease with it being close to my mums (lazy) and every time wished I hadn't bothered. Used to go to a little chippy just out of Cleveleys. Would do me Yorkshire Fish cakes... a 90p bargain if I phoned up and placed a order.

A lot of work has been done on the sea front in the last 10 years or so but aye I remember the small fair by the roundabout. 

Lived in this area for about 5 years but like you we had holidays here... usually in October. Used to caravan at Marton mere.

Remember going to Cleveleys... queuing outside that B&M (first in the uk?) as a kid. My mum buying loads of stuff for Christmas.

Arcades in Blackpool (coral Island), the lights, looking up at the tower (too poor to ever go in). crabbing off the piers (north and central, never south). Mooching around the pleasure Beach (was only ever allowed on one ride of my choice... no more). Was all good fun.

It's not until you grow up and re visit that you realise what a shithole places actually are. Blackpool as a kid was paradise. Living on Hornby Road 10/15 years later was shite and humbling. It did however give me opportunity to make enough and get myself out while I could.

I'll always have fond memories of Cleveleys though.

 

I could never understand my mam and dad's aversion to The Pleasure Beach...

Now I understand...

Three kids all going "can we go on this? Can we go on that? Can we have one of those?"

It died for me when they introduced bands and entry fees.

Last I heard they'd demolished The Wild Mouse Ride...

Bastards.

1 hour ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I could never understand my mam and dad's aversion to The Pleasure Beach...

Now I understand...

Three kids all going "can we go on this? Can we go on that? Can we have one of those?"

It died for me when they introduced bands and entry fees.

Last I heard they'd demolished The Wild Mouse Ride...

Bastards.

Try riding on a Tyrers double decker bus, it's like being on the Wild Mouse Ride.

24 minutes ago, leigh white said:

Try riding on a Tyrers double decker bus, it's like being on the Wild Mouse Ride.

Not had the pleasure this season...

14 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Not had the pleasure this season...

On my local route into Leigh, driving like crazy and hitting tree branches is normal every day, like being on a roller coaster.

1 hour ago, leigh white said:

On my local route into Leigh, driving like crazy and hitting tree branches is normal every day, like being on a roller coaster.

Bus Wanker!

Big Coat weather

its Definitely Winter 

pissing down for at least the next 2 weeks 

which CUNTs have put the Heating on yet

23 minutes ago, little whitt said:

its Definitely Winter 

pissing down for at least the next 2 weeks 

which CUNTs have put the Heating on yet

Autumn, I’d say

heating on, low

No heating, but the burner went on a couples of nights ago, for a few hours. 

Bloody sweltering.