Members DazBob Posted March 18, 2013 Members Share Posted March 18, 2013 Never ever piss during the night. Never have done. Once I'm asleep then that's it. Guaranteed dump at 9.30am though (I've just got back from it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L/H White Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I've got worse over the last year or so, usually wake up at 3:30 every night needing a slash. Even if i have that, i'm still bursting at 6:00. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamiwhite Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 (edited) i piss like a donkey on blackpool beach. nothing worse trying to ignore it,knowing you've got to have one. had the prostate checked a few years ago,a rather nice young tiddly wink wench did it. no humour those Chinks though,when she produced a small teacup size container,i said ''you'll need a pint pot''....................she just blanked me then rammed her finger up me with great delight. she wasn't too impressed when i asked for a second opinion. talking of pissing,i bumped into the former landlady of the Stag in the late 80's Dot. She kindly reminded me of the time she gave me a crack for pissing all over the vault door. I'd been to the Silverwell Beer Festival,went back to the Stag and actually thought I was in the bogs,not facing St Helen's Road with my pecker out for Ali and sundry to see Edited March 18, 2013 by miamiwhite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 thought I was in the bogs,not facing St Helen's Road with my pecker out for Ali and sundry to see very subtle, S. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamiwhite Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 very subtle, S. indeed sir,others will get it in a month or two Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wanderer Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I come in wrecked one night and started pissing on the bed whilst my missus was asleep. Half way through i realised what i was doing, finished my piss then rolled my missus over into it. Got in and went sleep. Never been spoke about since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatanGreavsie Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Iwasin now iamout - don't know why. Once remember walking past bathroom door and into spare room where I lifted the lid on an old record player and pissed in that Top effort! Best one was a mate who was courting a Swedish lass, and visited her parents over there. After a few kegs he gets up during the night, leaves the bedroom and finds his way to what he thought was the bog. Owd fella out, dam about to burst, turns light on - and he's in her parents' bedroom! They're married now, so it can't have gone down too badly. But then again they were Swedish... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Why can't you lot go for a piss in the right place after a few drinks Fucking nobheads! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little whitt Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 mate of mine years back he was about 17/18 at the time met him one night two black eyes said he got mugged on the way home pissed week later is brother told us got up in the night pissed ended up in is dads bedroom and pissed allover him in the morning dad went in is room called him a dirty bastard and twated him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I know a lad who opened his sisters knocker drawer and slashed all over them. What disturbs me more is that he picked the right drawer to slash into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I know a lad who opened his sisters knocker drawer and slashed all over them. What disturbs me more is that he picked the right drawer to slash into. Does she have a large collection of door furniture in there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 indeed sir,others will get it in a month or two who is sundry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 who is sundry? Mistry's cousin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Does she have a large collection of door furniture in there? Shit phone wanker nothing else Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farnworth white Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Well seems like Jeremy Vine reads this forum. Discussion on this very subject on todays show Starts at 1.09 http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01r6yt2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamiwhite Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 years ago i was woken in the night by a strange splashing noise. I turned the light on to find my brother pissing in my red and blue Head sports bag. He looked like a zombie and was totally oblivious to my presence. when i asked him ''what the fuck are you doing ?'' he looked at me with a totally blank expression and muttered ''shut it,or i'll twat you''.....then he finished his piss,zipped up the Head bag and sauntered back to his room. The morning afterwards i returned the ''compliment'' straight over his head. on another occasion he strolled into the kitchen after a heavy session,opened a kitchen unit,opened the pedal bin and pissed in there. My parents weren't overly impressed. i must admit to being caught short at work and peeing into a hard hat. my colleague then put the hat on without looking and was covered in my ''lucozade'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigtoe Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 While on about pissing again, today a bloke walks in the bogs at work, proceeds to wash his hands, then has a piss, he then zips up and just walks out. Filthy twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Pissed up Stayed at the bosses for the night Pissed in the wardrobe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 While on about pissing again, today a bloke walks in the bogs at work, proceeds to wash his hands, then has a piss, he then zips up and just walks out. Filthy twat. I used to work with a girl who I caught weeing without washing. I mentioned it in passing, it turned out everyone had noticed. When she brought in birthday goodies we picked the items in cellophane. Filthy Bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leigh white Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Remember being in a B&B in Finsbury Park and was sleeping starkers because it was very hot, went for a piss and my bedroom door slammed shut, had to get the night porter to open my room up for me from reception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigtoe Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 I've seen it done many times. Can't be getting the knob dirty, so Ill wash my hands before handling that, but I don't mind covering my dinner straight after in a mix of piss, sweat and pubic hair and eating it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Remember being in a B&B in Finsbury Park and was sleeping starkers because it was very hot, went for a piss and my bedroom door slammed shut, had to get the night porter to open my room up for me from reception. You don't strike me as the jimmy jam type anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leigh white Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 You don't strike me as the jimmy jam type anyway. Just wear little black skimpy briefs on cowd neets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Just wear little black skimpy briefs on cowd neets. Satin look I presume! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigtoe Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 I bet there is a fair old static charge between your arse cheeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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