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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Liars You Went To School With

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On a roll today.

 

Lad at our school came up with the following:

 

1) Said he was going out with Chun Li from the Streetfighter games

2) Said he had a United season ticket (when they were hard to get), but when someone rang him up at his mum's house at half time claimed the next day that he'd just popped home for a brew

3) Said that he had avoided being run over by a Mini Cooper by jumping over it as it approached

4) Claimed to suffer from delayed reactions to pain, so someone smacked him over the head with a ruler....ten minutes later he let off a massive cry and held his head.

 

Pretty sure they were all lies.

 

NB - if you went to school with Alan Nixon then you cannot use him as an example

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Come on, somebody must know the BN's Marc Iles from school.

When we moved house and I changed primary schools, I thought I'd make up a lie to try and impress my new would-be friends.  I told them I was going on holiday to Australia in the summer.

 

It backfired when I got a lift off one of them and their parents said, "Ooh, we hear you're going to Australia for your holidays.  Whereabouts?"

 

I shat myself and said, "Erm, we might not be going now.  I think we're going to Minehead instead".

Not at school but a bloke called Charlie tipped up in my old local many moons ago and over the course of a few years passed on many o story about his former life in Leigh.

 

He was a fast bowler for local cricket team and got scouted by Lancashire but the drug lord he was working for at the time wouldn't let him do it.

 

He served time for ram raiding designer shops.

 

Played rugby for Leigh.

 

Went to the national championship skateboarding as a kid.

 

Was a top amature boxer.

 

Was head doorman at rubins.

 

Was a scratch golfer.

 

He worked on the building of Disneyland Paris.

 

He's still about and lies of calmed down...but the damage had been done in my eyes!

Some (white) lad from Great Lever claimed his uncle was William 'The Refridgerator' Perry.

  • Author

Oh and lad my my OP had been to America on holidays and watched Back to the Future 4

I sold a lad at our primary a pair of those red and green glasses for a quid and told him he would be able to see the world in 3d.

 

Remember him going around the playground claiming it looked like everything was coming towards him.

 

How I laughed as I ate my 10 bags of beef Space Raiders.

  • Author

I sold a lad at our primary a pair of those red and green glasses for a quid and told him he would be able to see the world in 3d.

 

Remember him going around the playground claiming it looked like everything was coming towards him.

 

How I laughed as I ate my 10 bags of beef Space Raiders.

 

20p now, them

 

Transformasnacks too

 

in fact, so are Freddos

Edited by Kane57

20p now, them

 

Transformasnacks too

 

in fact, so are Freddos

I know. And there's less in 'em.

 

Austerity crisps.

 

Austerity crisps.

 

Liar.

 

Little Whitt says they don't make crisps in Austria

Liar.

 

Little Whitt says they don't make crisps in Austria

What about Salt and Viennagar?

Edited by kent_white

Very good.

hqdefault.jpg

Ready Salzburg?

hqdefault.jpg

 

Aren't they all bullshitters and (potential nonces to boot) given that their average age is about 27 in that photo yet they're in school uniform?

NB - if you went to school with Alan Nixon then you cannot use him as an example

I don't think I did

Language teachers, saying we needed to learn French and German, okay.

Language teachers, saying we needed to learn French and German, okay.

 

 

Daft fuckers didn't realise Xbox games have language selection.

Language teachers, saying we needed to learn French and German, okay.

 

As opposed to the truthful English, Maths and Science teachers?

Isn't Germany considered the business and economic powerhouse of Europe?

Big E is really good at it, having lived there for a year. I think he's the same age as Diddles, a boy who still lives with his mummy.

Big E is really good at it, having lived there for a year. I think he's the same age as Diddles, a boy who still lives with his mummy.

 

I reckon Diddles would tear him a new arsehole at FIFA though.

JAZZAS_BIRD  saying sexy james is a good lover

Isn't Germany considered the business and economic powerhouse of Europe?

 

The company I work for is Swiss and in all meetings English is the only language used.

 

Diddles is right, we don't need to learn foreign languages.  If those foreigners are struggling to understand us then you just need to repeat yourself louder and by gesturing/pointing.

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