This Old Lady Who Killed Herself

[ChippyTea]

I work from home quite a lot, amd I'm amazed by the amount of phone calls that I get during the day (on the landline) from charitable organisations asking for me to contribute to them on a monthly basis. The other week I even had somebody knocking on the door asking me to donate to yen British Heart Foundation, when I said I wasn't interested, he said "surely you can afford just £2 a month, it's nothing" - the cheeky twunt

 

Not a charity I know but was out with a friend of mine the other week, she wanted me and my mrs to meet her new boyfriend.  This clown she was with is a salesman for a well-known double glazing firm and delighted in telling us how he got an 80 year old widow to sign a £3700 contract for 3 new windows the thieving cunt.  On to the highlighted bit, he says they use that particular phrase in front of couples so the husband is embarrased into signing

[Sweep]

delighted in telling us how he got an 80 year old widow to sign a £3700 contract for 3 new windows the thieving cunt.

I know it's easier said than done, but would have been great if you had just called him a cunt and then kicked him in the plums

[ChippyTea]

Was tempted believe me.  Scum like that give us real tradesmen a bad name

[HR]

It's hard for people to make an assessment of where their money is going. The world is full of good causes and people rightly give to the causes they feel they are connected to or feel a personal affiliation. What makes it difficult is when people are paid whilst acting like volunteers on a moral crusade trying to spread the guilt trip. From clipboard warriors to charity executives, they may be necessary but people want every penny of their monies going to the sharp end of care or help. It would be simpler if every donation you made was given knowing a clear xx% would go to charity. I'd like to know just how much them fuckin gypos dropping off bin bags donate to charity out of their income. Problem is these types make everyone synacle and stop monies going where it's needed most.

[little whitt]

i always say to them

 

i give to charity through me church

[Sweep]

i always say to them

 

i give to charity through me church

The Church of LW - I'd love to know what your Ten Commandments are....

[Carlos]

I just don't want splashing with holy water.

[Sweep]

I just don't want splashing with holy water.

I'd be wary of drinking out of the communion cup as well if I were you

[Whites man]

Thou shalt live in a garage.

[Sweep]

Thou shalt RUIN women

[Whites man]

Thou shalt not be tall enough for rides in amusement parks.

[mickbrown]

Proper bugbear of mine. They can all get to fuck.

 

If I give, I give on my terms.

[HR]

Don into uthurs as yu wud du onto yirself.

[Juan.Kerr]

Thou shalt not covet thye neighbours laundry basket.

[Bigtoe]

Thou shall not say no to BUMFUN

[Sweep]

Thou shalt wank off thine friends

[DazBob]

Let thou who throws the first stone end up in the boot of thy car.

 

Edit: Should be casts, no throws, innit.

Edited May 17, 2015 by DazBob

[Sweep]

Thou shalt worship no other EGGHEAD

[no balls]

Some slimy fucker from Cancer research has just rung my mobile. I haven't a clue where he got that number from as I don't give it out unless you're a silver fox with a fat bank balance.

 

Anyhow, he tried the, you can afford it, line.

 

Fuck off and leave me alone or the direct debit get cancelled.

[Youri McAnespie]

Unless your number is hidden on your network, some (dodgy) firms mine it for their database when you ring them, which they then sometimes go on to flog for about 0.002p per number to other firms and charities etc.

 

Taxi firms are worst for this, other culprits include garages.

[zurichwhite]

unless you're a silver fox with a fat bank balance.

 

 

 

I'm just silver and fat