Slow news day? The real deal? End of the world? 
 

They’re saying it probably came from an animal, has Somebody been shagging monkeys again? 

6 minutes ago, stevieb said:

Read that bergamo mayor tweet. Too many people infected and too little hospital beds. 

They are having to pick who dies and who gets treatment because their mismanagement means they are 'getting it over with'. 

 

Aye 

But how many skived off work to watch Netflix? Did the Mayor answer that 

Apparently our fork lift drivers can’t work from home because the tyres makes marks on their carpets.

The welders can’t either as their wives are complaining about the smell.

 

2 minutes ago, Spider said:

Apparently our fork lift drivers can’t work from home because the tyres makes marks on their carpets.

The welders can’t either as their wives are complaining about the smell.

 

Aye, but the more of those that can, actually do, then the more likely to slow the thing down.

If your welders etc get it, they won't be working anyhow.

3 minutes ago, Spider said:

Apparently our fork lift drivers can’t work from home because the tyres makes marks on their carpets.

The welders can’t either as their wives are complaining about the smell.

 

Mine are the same, mate

I'd love to be able to work from home

Just two issues

1 I'd do fuck all

2 my lads would do fuck all

Just now, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Aye, but the more of those that can, actually do, then the more likely to slow the thing down.

If your welders etc get it, they won't be working anyhow.

My tongue is slightly in my cheek, but the point is that only us soft-skinned office types can WFH.

Shit needs making.

5 minutes ago, Spider said:

My tongue is slightly in my cheek, but the point is that only us soft-skinned office types can WFH.

Shit needs making.

We get that.

But if so many are sick, there'll be no fucker around to make owt anyway.

There's a balancing act which the government is having to do and if they say stay away for a while then that's what we should do.

I've been working from home every Friday for about 6 months now. It's surprisingly uncomfortable. I get a bit of that "skiving off school" anxiety I got when I was a kid, even when I was properly ill. I'd much rather be in the office and on the shopfloor.

Edited March 11, 20206 yr by Cheese

1 minute ago, Cheese said:

I've been working from home every Friday for about 6 months now. It's surprisingly uncomfortable. I get a bit of that "skiving off school" anxiety I got when I was a kid, even when I was properly ill.

The trick is to pace your wanking breaks.

rub one out early doors, then restrict yourself to 1pm and a celebratory 4pm shuffle.

Your workrate will improve straight away.

I reckon.

Been working from home for ten years, 3 days at home, 2 in the office (London) 

Would never go back to 5 days in an office, get much more done at home with no distractions 

A home office set up (monitor, desk, chair etc) does help a lot though 

Edit - never canned work to watch Netflix, have done to watch a race at Cheltenham though 

Edited March 11, 20206 yr by birch-chorley

Just now, Spider said:

The trick is to pace your wanking breaks.

rub one out early doors, then restrict yourself to 1pm and a celebratory 4pm shuffle.

Your workrate will improve straight away.

I reckon.

I already do that. Still feels wrong. I have to skype someone straight after and shout "I WASN'T WANKING!"

Message from our CEO earlier today. There are some right fucking weapons that walk amongst us.....
 

3.Hand Washing and Hand Sanitiser
As everyone is aware, we have purchased and positioned bottles of hand sanitiser and wipes at various locations around the (Head Office) in order to help all of us control the spread of the COVID-19 virus. Bizarrely, we have noticed that a number of these bottles and packets have “gone missing” over the past week or so and would appear no longer to be in the (Head Office).  While there may be a legitimate explanation for these “disappearances” please note that the company views the removal of these items from the (Head Office) as extremely poor behaviour (especially in these challenging times) and we will take appropriate action against anyone seen removing them without a good explanation.

1 minute ago, MancWanderer said:

Message from our CEO earlier today. There are some right fucking weapons that walk amongst us.....
 

3.Hand Washing and Hand Sanitiser
As everyone is aware, we have purchased and positioned bottles of hand sanitiser and wipes at various locations around the (Head Office) in order to help all of us control the spread of the COVID-19 virus. Bizarrely, we have noticed that a number of these bottles and packets have “gone missing” over the past week or so and would appear no longer to be in the (Head Office).  While there may be a legitimate explanation for these “disappearances” please note that the company views the removal of these items from the (Head Office) as extremely poor behaviour (especially in these challenging times) and we will take appropriate action against anyone seen removing them without a good explanation.

How many have you taken?

I’ve got a few of our Eastern European friends in tomorrow installing a full scale training ground just so I can work from home.
Committed me.

Edited March 11, 20206 yr by Rudy’s Message

5 hours ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

I've sneezed twice today, and a second cold sore has broken out.

Bad covid or good?

Not wishing to sound callous mate but can you make sure that you sort out my mum’s laburnum tree before you peg it. It’s a bit breezy so would rather not have any passers-by hurt by it falling over. If you could keep her insurance claims down before you’re a goner we would be most grateful. JSL 😎

4 minutes ago, Spider said:

How many have you taken?

None of your business unless you’re talking a decent price for moving them on

48 minutes ago, miamiwhite said:

Juventus centre back Daniele Rugani has got it now.

Their CL game will end up being postponed now.

Government apparently advising to move to "delay" phase in the morning.

14 minutes ago, Marc505 said:

Government apparently advising to move to "delay" phase in the morning.

What does that entail? I’ve lost track

7 minutes ago, Spider said:

What does that entail? I’ve lost track

Not entirely sure to be honest, think it's the banning large social events and encouraging WFH stage.

27 minutes ago, Spider said:

What does that entail? I’ve lost track

Think it’s where they consider closing schools/college and sporting events 

2 hours ago, Casino said:

Mine are the same, mate

I'd love to be able to work from home

Just two issues

1 I'd do fuck all

2 my lads would do fuck all

I work from home every day and I'm doing next to fuck all, but not by choice.

Wife is also self-employed, running classes and her numbers are dwindling too.

Tough times at Traf Towers soon.

Looking like this weekends games will be behind closed doors 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-8102533/EVERY-football-game-England-held-closed-doors-NO-games-shown-pubs.html

Edited March 12, 20206 yr by royal white

Flights from Europe to America have been banned from Friday for the next 30 days apart from flights from........the UK.

 

cheers Donald! 

Edited March 12, 20206 yr by royal white

NBA season has been suspended.

Tom Hanks tested positive for it.

5 hours ago, royal white said:

Flights from Europe to America have been banned from Friday for the next 30 days apart from flights from........the UK.

 

cheers Donald! 

The flights are empty though apparently, the carriers are having to fly them to keep the slots 

He would be better off banning them