WHEN DID YOU NEARLY DIE????

[gonzo]

7 hours ago, royal white said:

Twice the helicopter before the one I was due on crashed resulting in numerous deaths. 
 

Smashing me knee on a rock in the Zambezi river and getting washed about a mile down river, granted a bad knee wasn’t going to kill me but the crocs could of.

 

🤣🤣

 

 

[little whitt]

Knocked down when i was a small kid 7/8

then swimming in the see Wales somewhere 

i would swim a mile 3 days a week then 

swam to a Boy about 1/2 mile out 

on way back i thought im not going to make this 

a Speed boat came past do you want a lift back Lad 

yes thank fuck 

[Spider]

8 hours ago, royal white said:

Twice the helicopter before the one I was due on crashed resulting in numerous deaths. 
 

Smashing me knee on a rock in the Zambezi river and getting washed about a mile down river, granted a bad knee wasn’t going to kill me but the crocs could of.

You need to stop going on them £1 holidays out of The Sun

[gonzo]

1 hour ago, little whitt said:

Knocked down when i was a small kid 7/8

then swimming in the see Wales somewhere 

i would swim a mile 3 days a week then 

swam to a Boy about 1/2 mile out 

on way back i thought im not going to make this 

a Speed boat came past do you want a lift back Lad 

yes thank fuck 

Did the boy survive?!

[stevieb]

When I was 12 I pulled some young kid off the bottom of the pool in majorca. He was about 5.

Took him back to his parents getting shit faced on their sun loungers and they couldn't give a fuck. 

Cunts 

[Rudy]

9 hours ago, MickyD said:

Cast your mind back to January 1st 2018. We’d beaten Hull 1-0 and after the match I walked up towards British Aerospace. Only a slight incline but half way I was absolutely knackered. I felt like I just needed to lean against something for a rest. It felt tight across my back; a feeling I’d never experienced before. I powered through, got to my car and as soon as I sat down; instant relief. I drove home and couldn’t get comfortable. Went to bed feeling shit but after a good night’s kip, felt great the day after and the day after that.

On the 4th of Jan, I was packing for a four day trip to Cork to see friends and generally get pissed. Then I started to feel shit again. I’d decided it was indigestion, then asthma so I phoned my GP and got in straight away. Now I’d decided it was asthma I didn’t want it to spoil the trip. Told the doc I wanted a prescription for that puffer thing asthmatics use.

“You’re having a heart attack!” he told me. “Am I bollocks!” I replied. I’d taught first aid for about 25 years and I reckon I’d recognise a heart attack. Vice-like grip, tingling at the extremities is what was in every first aid lecture I’d ever given. Load of bollocks!

15 minutes later I was in A&E at Bolton General where I spent the next 4 days. I actually felt fine; in fact, a bit of a fraud. The place was full of folk who were seriously ill and there’s me, feeling fine. One bloke “died” in the middle of the night and the crash team came in, dragged him onto the floor and a bit of AED/CPR later, he was back in bed. Next day he was sat up eating his breakfast oblivious to last night’s excitement.

A couple of stents later (I watched the line go up through my wrist, and placed in the thin bit of an artery. Fascinating stuff.

All good now. 

 

Fuckin hell that’s crazy. I had a chap come and see me when I was doing private work when I was studying . Guy had a knee op and wanted to know what exercises he could do to lose weight,

fella was at least 20 stone, and the office space was two floors up, he came in and he was dripping in sweat and looked grey, when he shook my hand it was ice cold and this was a hot day. 

Anyways after weighing him and taking all his details I went to take his blood pressure and pulse rate, his blood pressure was through the roof, can’t remember what exactly but I’ve never known a higher one.
 

When I listened to his heart rhythm it was like a drum solo, but also had a big pause every 6 seconds.

 
I got him to lie down and not move, I didn’t want to panic him so I said I’m just going to the other room I’ll be back in a minute turned the light off to try and calm him,

I rang 999 and said this chap is having a heart attack and I think he’s about 10 minutes from dying. 
Paramedics came and took him to hospital. I was right, his wife contacted me thanking me after the doc said if he would have walked down the stairs and to his car he would have died. 
He’s since lost 10 stone. 

[RONNIE PHILLIPS]

10 hours ago, royal white said:

Twice the helicopter before the one I was due on crashed resulting in numerous deaths. 
 

Smashing me knee on a rock in the Zambezi river and getting washed about a mile down river, granted a bad knee wasn’t going to kill me but the crocs could of.

You deserved to die just for wearing crocs 🤣🤣

[dave2980]

There's a few times where I've probably diced with death but the two that stand out are:

1) The time I managed to almost electrocute myself - I was working on something that had a 3ph incoming supply but then all the internal circuits were 1ph. I knocked off all the trip switches and disconnected the power supply to the part I was working on. While working on it the power supply cables caught my arm only they were still live! There was a blue flash and I heard the main board trip. Ended up with a lovely little burn on my arm but if the DB hadn't tripped I was probably a gonner

2) The time some dozey idiot nearly pushed me into the central reservation at 100 70 mph - I was on the M6, it was probably about 4.30 - 5am so it was very quiet. I could see ahead of me a lorry in the middle lane overtaking another lorry and a car also in the middle lane making no effort to overtake the lorry. I was passing them all in the 3rd lane doing 70 (honest officer!) when the driver of the car decided he was going to overtake the lorry with me alongside him. Evasive action needed, I had to floor it and move over on to the rough area between the white line and the barrier (about a foot wide at this point) and then swerve into the middle lane quickly as soon as I had passed him. Legs went after that so had to stop at the next services and let my colleague drive the rest of the way 😂 

[DazBob]

In the middle of the Red Sea on a snorkeling trip. I'd cut my leg on some coral and suddenly lost the ability to swim or even shout for help.The group I was with swam off into the distance as I went under for the last time.

I was strangely at peace with accepting my watery grave until I felt a hand grab me and drag me back to the surface. 

Luckily the leader of a group from another boat had seen me and swam like Aquaman to come and save me.

Never found out his name to thank him, but he was probably called Muhammad. So thanks Muhammad if you're reading this.

[Spider]

2 minutes ago, DazBob said:

In the middle of the Red Sea on a snorkeling trip. I'd cut my leg on some coral and suddenly lost the ability to swim or even shout for help.The group I was with swam off into the distance as I went under for the last time.

I was strangely at peace with accepting my watery grave until I felt a hand grab me and drag me back to the surface. 

Luckily the leader of a group from another boat had seen me and swam like Aquaman to come and save me.

Never found out his name to thank him, but he was probably called Muhammad. So thanks Muhammad if you're reading this.

It’s a shame they’re not that good at swimming when a dinghy pops.

(have THAT gammons)

[Duck Egg]

There was an ice cream factory behind our house growing up.  They were cleaning out their refrigerated trucks one day and my older brother and his mates were chucking the ice cubes about. Being only 3 years old I put one in my mouth and swallowed it.

Turned out they were using some chemical products to clean the trucks out.  I was throwing up for hours and taken into hospital.  My dad told my mum afterwards that he didnt think I'd make it.  I'm still shocked he didnt get us in the MEN afterwards with compo faces.

[Zico]

5 of us in a fiat Panda on the m1 

Driver lost control, slid into hard shoulder and flipped and rolled several times before landing in the middle lane on its roof 

Got some glass stuck in my arm crawling out, mate severed nerves in his thumb but all came away relatively unscathed

Even the cops said they expected no survivors when they pulled up and saw the wreck, saw it the next day, there really was fuck all left of it

[Rudy]

28 minutes ago, DazBob said:

Luckily the leader of a group from another boat had seen me and swam like Aquaman to come and save me.

The real reason @Sweep hates aquaman 

[RONNIE PHILLIPS]

5 minutes ago, Rudy said:

The real reason @Sweep hates aquaman 

😂

[London Wanderer]

Some cracking stories on this thread.

Meningitis aged 19. Bolton A&E was overwhelmed that day and had to close at points. Wasn't until I started fitting & collapsed next to some kid with a broken finger that I finally got treated. Doctors were bloody amazing after that, owe them everything.

Don't think I suffered any brain damage....

[only1swanny]

As a little boy, was taken ill into hospital as I couldn't eat, couldn't wee or poo, just wriggling in pain. 

Given the last rights by a priest, fortunately they found a small lump, turned out to be a blockage in my bowels, emergency operation to remove it, with parents told it was very unlikely to work. 

Now have a 5 inch scar on my stomach,  used to be from one side to the other.  

[gonzo]

I was born 2 months premature, nearly pegged it and spent months in an incubator thingy. Insert your own premature jokes if you wish.

As an adult, fell asleep on the motorway after a shift on nights in Lancaster. Drifted 3 lanes on central reservation and woke to swerve out the way of a bridge.

Another time I was fixing a ceiling where a spark cut through a live pyro from the 1960s. Thing exploded and blue flame engulfed the room for 3 phases before it burnt out. If Id have been anywhere but on my step ladders with rubber feet and not actually touching the metal Id be dead.

Other week after my mums funeral my mrs woke to find me choking on my own sick, completely passed out. That was another close one.

 

[boogs]

Don't have a near death tale but some of these made me think about my greatest fear, not being the subject of one of these but a bystander like some of you have been or been saved by. It sounds quite pathetic but was staying at my mates house in Chorlton years ago after a session. I woke to at about 4 in morning to hear 4 lads jumping fences and bumping banging. I thought they were trying to break into the house. Now I was royally pissed but it definitely wasn't that that stopped me being able to move, I was just paralysed with panic, couldn't move or even shout to wake my two mates in the house to do anything. Turns out these lads nicked a bike from next doors garden. 

I beat myself up about it for quite a while after, telling myself I was a massive pussy for not at least shouting out the window or something, let alone confront them, but the truth is I just didn't have a choice. I bet it lasted less than a minute but panic set in and I completely froze, my biggest fear is that would happen again if one of these tales above happened in front of me. 

Edited December 11, 2021 by boogs

[Tonge moor green jacket]

Getting hit by a car while cycling along long lane could have been much more serious. 

[boogs]

1 minute ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Getting hit by a car while cycling along long lane could have been much more serious. 

Actually, that's reminded me, riding my bike up Blenheim Rd as a kid, speeding cars wing mirror hit the end of my handle bars, throwing me in a heap on the pavement. Suppose that could've been much worse as well. 

[Tonge moor green jacket]

13 minutes ago, boogs said:

Actually, that's reminded me, riding my bike up Blenheim Rd as a kid, speeding cars wing mirror hit the end of my handle bars, throwing me in a heap on the pavement. Suppose that could've been much worse as well. 

Might have been the same bloody driver!

[Dimron]

6 hours ago, dave2980 said:

Legs went after that so had to stop at the next services and let my colleague drive the rest of the way 😂 

I've had a couple of incidents with bikes and aeroplanes where  I didn't think I was going to die but my knees went wobbly afterwards... weird feeling

[Morizio]

2 hours ago, Dimron said:

I've had a couple of incidents with bikes and aeroplanes where  I didn't think I was going to die but my knees went wobbly afterwards... weird feeling

Surly suffering from a compound fracture, pushing the bone back in, stemming the blood loss and then just cracking on would be a worthy contribution to this thread.

[Dimron]

Just now, Morizio said:

Surly suffering from a compound fracture, pushing the bone back in, stemming the blood loss and then just cracking on would be a worthy contribution to this thread.

I didn't think I was going to die... just sat there well pissed off with what I had just done wishing I could wind the clock back 5 minutes.

For the record I was prepping a racing bike for the Le Mans 24 hrs and the font calipers were acting up. I took it out illegally around the local housing estate and got in a wobble while messing around at less than 10 mph.... somehow I decided I could step off and not scratch the bike because i knew the team manager would give me a right old bollocking and I might lose out on my expenses paid trip. All low speed and trying not to drop the bike and concrete kerbs are very hard

[1969]

Twice for me

1st time cut the wrong main cable(1 was redundant old wiring)big flash of light luckily I was wearing my work boots

2nd time on the m6 at 4am driving to London in the inside lane next thing I know I'm spinning straight into the central reservation. Luckily a wagon driver slowed all traffic down by weaving between all 3 lanes.Only found out once coppers turned up what had happened.Some pissed up cunt decided to gently roll into the drivers side back wing and put me into a spin