Members DazBob Posted November 4, 2011 Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 The bloke was offered compensation in the form of twenty Big Mac tokens - and he accepted That's brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Rumours at secondary school that our old female French teacher had starred in a grumble flick Knowing French Cinema it was probably just a regular PG rated film over there. There was a rumour that one of our P.E. teachers had sent in a full frontal nude of himself, grinning and arms crossed in a 'what d'ya think of that then?' to 'One for the Ladies' in Razzle magazine (or similar), you know the feature...them pages you hastily skipped when sat in the bushes 'reading' with your mates. Anyway, I didn't see it, but someone brought a copy in and the blokes first name and location tallied with the teacher's (surely he'd have used an alias?), and all those who did see it swore it was him. The teacher, co-incidentally, did leave shortly after, which was a pity - after all he'd sent it into 'One for the Ladies' not 'One for the Schoolboys'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Biff Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 yep, Canon Slade. Dare I suggest you seem a bit too keen on knowing all the fine details... Canon Slade in the top 100. That must have been before they heard about the Music Master. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Francis Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I heard about a girl from Horwich who covered her fanny in jam and let her dog lick it off. Do dogs even like jam? Got told that story over 20 years ago but without the jam. Bit gutted to find after all that time its an urban myth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 (edited) i guy in my old work told me something similar however said it was him and a dog I heard a similar one about a bloke, but the balloon who told me the story added credence by swapping jam for beef paste, and claiming the bloke used to stick his bellend in a jar (of Shipphams - it had to be Shipphams because of the wider 'opening') then using the jar very much like one would use chalk on a snooker cue - before getting down to his 'woof' activity. When I was about 12, there was a rumour that if you asked for a certain obsolete chocolate bar (Wispa? Texan? can't remember exactly) at a corner store on Plodder Lane - they'd sell you a ready rolled spliff for a ?1. I tried it once, and the lad behind the counter just looked at me like I'd escaped from Ward K2. I stood there for a good two minutes nudge-nudging, wink-winking and nose-tapping, until he told me to piss off if I wasn't buying something, so I got a can of cherry coke and slunk off - dejected. Edited November 5, 2011 by Youri McAnespie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exiled Girl Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 (edited) At my old school, in first year science about 10 pages in the middle of every textbook had been pasted together. Of course this was the worst thing they could do, as kid's natural curiosity meant everyone set about carefully parting the pages... It was the chapter on Human Reproduction - with medical diagrams of wombs, vaginas, penises etc. Interesting. When it was a grammar school you did science in the first two years and human biology wasn't even touched upon when biology was covered, it was all worms and leaves, and we certainly covered how worms reproduced. In fact, I can't recall having any science text books, it was mostly copying stuff from the blackboard. Once you got to 3rd form, you did the sciences individually and had text books - and the human reproduction section wasn't glued down even though you didn't cover that until 5th form. I never learn't that bit though, being the only person in my form to drop biology. Maybe that's why I haven't had any babies. Edited November 5, 2011 by Exiled Girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieb Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Interesting. When it was a grammar school you did science in the first two years and human biology wasn't even touched upon when biology was covered, it was all worms and leaves, and we certainly covered how worms reproduced. In fact, I can't recall having any science text books, it was mostly copying stuff from the blackboard. Once you got to 3rd form, you did the sciences individually and had text books - and the human reproduction section wasn't glued down even though you didn't cover that until 5th form. I never learn't that bit though, being the only person in my form to drop biology. Maybe that's why I haven't had any babies. Wrong Hole? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazza Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 When I was a lad in the days of yore... I was convinced that 20 minutes after BBC played the national anthem at the end of the night a programme came on showing strippers. I was 12 and sneaked downstairs out of the gaze of my parents to watch a telly showing interference for ages. I must have done it about 20 times before I realised it was bollox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieb Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 When I was a lad in the days of yore... I was convinced that 20 minutes after BBC played the national anthem at the end of the night a programme came on showing strippers. I was 12 and sneaked downstairs out of the gaze of my parents to watch a telly showing interference for ages. I must have done it about 20 times before I realised it was bollox Hahaha, the innocence (or not) of youth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white -50 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 (edited) In my teens, somebody told me if you turn your empty beer glass upside down and placed it on your table. It meant you would fight anybody in the Pub. Never tried it,like. Edited November 5, 2011 by white -50 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernStr Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Our local Chinese "got done for serving seagull instead of chicken". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan.Kerr Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 When I was a lad in the days of yore... I was convinced that 20 minutes after BBC played the national anthem at the end of the night a programme came on showing strippers. I was 12 and sneaked downstairs out of the gaze of my parents to watch a telly showing interference for ages. I must have done it about 20 times before I realised it was bollox If that tale is not true Jazza,it should be. Laughed my todger off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) When I was a lad in the days of yore... I was convinced that 20 minutes after BBC played the national anthem at the end of the night a programme came on showing strippers. I was 12 and sneaked downstairs out of the gaze of my parents to watch a telly showing interference for ages. I must have done it about 20 times before I realised it was bollox This might have a grain of truth in it Jazza, not strippers on the BBC, but one of my earliest telly memories was something my dad used to watch when I was about 3 year old. It must have been on ITV and it was called 'Live from Monte Carlo' or something like that - my memories are vague, but what I do remember was it was a European 'Variety' show, on at about midnight on a Saturday and they had a regular troupe of 'showgirls'/dancing girls performing (you know, with feather headdresses and all that) and that sometimes they had their tits out (this isn't false memory - I can still see my dad perched on the edge of the couch, leering and dribbling into his can of Guinness). Can anyone older confirm this? (The existence of the show - not that my dad was a big, old pervert, and didn't mind his young son seeing half-naked women). Edited November 6, 2011 by Youri McAnespie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pato Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) In my teens, somebody told me if you turn your empty beer glass upside down and placed it on your table. It meant you would fight anybody in the Pub. Never tried it,like. I know it was a Stockport thing (christ it seemed like a nice place) Edited November 6, 2011 by pato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent_white Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 In my teens, somebody told me if you turn your empty beer glass upside down and placed it on your table. It meant you would fight anybody in the Pub. Never tried it,like. That's an Austrailan thing I think. I saw it happen twice while I was working behind the bar in Daly Waters in the Northern Territory. Strange folk up there..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pato Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 they deported stockportians to oz doesn't seem fair? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) When the Water Place first opened back in say 1989 rumours were going around school that someone had put razor blades in the slides. The frozen Sausage and the girl happened at my school too Local Chinese served dog I also remember the one about the ex copper tramp You could get stoned off smoking banana skins Miss XXX who taught Chemistry at St James's Farnworth used to be a Man Mr Woods who taught Art at St James's Farnworth was shagging a 3rd year (this turned out to be true and he got a 3 stretch at Her Majesty's Pleasure) Edited November 6, 2011 by Danny G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted November 6, 2011 Site Supporter Share Posted November 6, 2011 When the Water Place first opened back in say 1989 rumours were going around school that someone had put razor blades in the slides. The frozen Sausage and the girl happened at my school too Local Chinese served dog I also remember the one about the ex copper tramp You could get stoned off smoking banana skins Miss XXX who taught Chemistry at St James's Farnworth used to be a Man Mr Woods who taught Art at St James's Farnworth was shagging a 3rd year (this turned out to be true and he got a 3 stretch at Her Majesty's Pleasure) That xxx start with a W by any chance? Mr Woods was a nonce. I know the girl who used to keep a look out for him and the girl at lunch times. Nonce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 That xxx start with a W by any chance? Mr Woods was a nonce. I know the girl who used to keep a look out for him and the girl at lunch times. Nonce. Yes it did, she/him did have a hairy chest, maybe it was a Man after all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted November 6, 2011 Members Share Posted November 6, 2011 Petrol pete? Was he real or made up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter barryk32 Posted November 6, 2011 Site Supporter Share Posted November 6, 2011 Petrol pete? Was he real or made up? Real. Saw him many a time. Probably now dead though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cureforsanity Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 yep, Canon Slade. Dare I suggest you seem a bit too keen on knowing all the fine details... Sounds like one of Diddy Evans' tall tales - he was full of 'em! Top bloke though, proper notright but in the right way (?) Did he ever regale you with his tales of when he was in the Black Watch? Bloody nutter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DazBob Posted November 6, 2011 Members Share Posted November 6, 2011 Sounds like one of Diddy Evans' tall tales - he was full of 'em! Top bloke though, proper notright but in the right way (?) Did he ever regale you with his tales of when he was in the Black Watch? Bloody nutter! Can't remeber his name. He was the big Welsh fella. Into his rugby isn't it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 If you pissed in the water at the swimming baths, it turned red!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cureforsanity Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Can't remeber his name. He was the big Welsh fella. Into his rugby isn't it. Ah. Not him then, probably someone who replaced him. I think being called Evans was as welshist as he got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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