Anyone Had 'the Snip'?

[fatolive]

Had it under local anaesthetic , stayed awake during so wouldn't have to stay in all night, at 12 minutes past 2 I was wishing I was anywhere else in the world but on that trolley, sure the surgeon thought he was chopping firewood, seen gentler actions digging footings.

Ached for a week afterwards, possibly due to the fact I was at a christening so didn't take any pain killers, got pissed and thought I could kick a football with the kids, which wasn't the best idea I've ever had.

Worse part though is taking you sample back in, waiting room full of people, trying to be discreet with this tub, and gob almighty receptionist announces to the world " have you had vasectomy love? That your sample,? do you need another tub love?"

I've also had other mates say they felt no affect at all, so I just have a had a rough arsed surgeon or be a soft twat

[Bigtoe]

B and Q car park? Kinell!!!

 

I switched to gay sex to avoid having to worry about it.

[White Shirt]

Send Tomski a PM.

????

[kent_white]

I always wondered what those portacabins on B&Q were. Doing operations! Actual clinical procedures! This was under the Labour government who are behind the Save Our NHS campaign. Bollocks. Literally.

It's far easier and cheaper than opening up a ward. Makes perfect sense to me.

[Zico]

I wouldn't do a bungee jump in a pub car park so there's fuck all chance of having an operation of any sort in such a location

[Spider]

I once had my balls thoroughly drained in the car park of a Maplin.

 

She didn't use any knives or scissors though and I had a pleasant tingle afterwards rather than a dull ache.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Spider

[Tonge moor green jacket]

I once had my balls thoroughly drained in the car park of a Maplin.

She didn't use any knives or scissors though and I had a pleasant tingle afterwards rather than a dull ache.

Lucky sod. Whenever I've been, only been offered a catalogue.

Guess they were testing your jack plug.

[little whitt]

Think the only way my Mrs can get pregnant nowadays is to rub her fanny all over my wank sock.

 

always wondered do woman use a sock for drying too

[Mike Hunt]

Mine was under a general, went alternate round the ward. Worst bit was the anaesthetics wearing off middle of the night when I got up for a piss and the dressing was a bit bloody and I was a bit wobbly! Nearly sat on a bag of coat hangers, wouldn't have been advisable!

[SatanGreavsie]

 All I can do is refer back to a previous classic from over a decade ago:

 

 

Posted 09 November 2004 - 12:30 PM

Here's what happened.
Sunday 21.00 hrs shaved mi teds.
Monday 15.30 arrived @ Salford butchers for my op arter being told on the letter to arriv 15 mins before appointment time, with slippers, dressing gown, urine sample & shaved fuckin scrotum.
Monday 16.25 got taken into the surgery, to be met by the biggest fattest darkie bloke i've ever seen.
he introduces himself & asks for my urine sample.
I say "where d'ya want me to get undressed".
He says "for what".
I say "for the op"
He say's "this is just a pre op interview"
I say "you must be Jokin, don't say I've shaved mi nuts for nowt"
"I'm afraid so he say's.
Now after going redder than a London teletext manure fan.
we agreed that the op should take place on the 25th Nov this year.

Regads Isaac the thickestcuntthissidethemississippiriver.

toodle pip

[Blondi]

I remember that I had to take 3 semen samples back to the pathology lab at Warrington hospital and each sample had to be delivered no later than 30 minutes after ejaculation.

 

On the 3rd sample, I went to the bathroom like you do, my Mrs knew what I was doing, I was just in the process of thinking about shooting over kirsty Gallagher's knockers and then there was a shout from downstairs, it was my Mrs and she said "my Dad's here, he's doing some diy" not exactly what I was wanting to hear!
 

Edited April 16, 2016 by Blondi

[Horwich]

Wws classic from issac

[Smiffs]

Needles?

 

In my bollocks?

 

Not a fucking chance.

[Andydee]

Preferable to the game last night!

[Pablo]

Well done for having kids....,..

[Matt Lofthouse]

Anyone who says you don't feel a thing is talking out their arse. You feel every stab, pull and snip, your nuts swell to twice the size and turn blue. Then you walk like you've shat yourself for a week hth Matt (3 nippers under the age of 4).

[Carlos]

I've already got bollocks the size of rugby balls, this is never happening.

[Gonk]

I've already got bollocks the size of rugby balls, this is never happening.

 

They are probably normal size and it's just your tiny penis making them look comparitively  massive

[Flannel Truscott]

Been to the pop up clinic on B&q car park a couple of times,1st class set up, cleaner than the hospital. Done Beaumont as well, Beaumont just shades it with private room and sky TV

How many times have you had the snip?

[mickbrown]

Needles?

 

In my bollocks?

 

Not a fucking chance.

 

Too right.

 

Said it before I'd rather just go without, ta very much

[Smiffs]

Too right.

 

Said it before I'd rather just go without, ta very much

Have you suggested she gets the gearbox removed? ????????

 

Do it from a safe distance ????????

[stevieb]

Have you suggested she gets the gearbox removed? ????????

 

Do it from a safe distance ????????

There's a non medical solution she'll like too...

 

Up t'poo chute!

[mickbrown]

Have you suggested she gets the gearbox removed?

 

Do it from a safe distance

 

Jesus man - there'd be nowt to snip if I did

[mickbrown]

And my reticence stems from a mate of a mate.

 

His 'teds' (throw back in homage) swelled up and the stiches bust - he was in a bad way.

 

Had to crawl  to the bathroom on his belly. He left a trail across the carpet like, and I quote  'a baby seal that had been clubbed and dragged across the ice'

Edited April 22, 2016 by mickbrown

[bgoefc]

In!

 

Checked in at 1pm, went under at 3pm, back home at 5:45pm and first sip of red wine an hour later (though not recommended).

 

Best one hour sleep I've had in ages. No discomfort whatsoever......yet