Slow news day? The real deal? End of the world? 
 

They’re saying it probably came from an animal, has Somebody been shagging monkeys again? 

2 minutes ago, boltondiver said:

Tesco Horwich almost out of beer

It’s not the time for sick jokes 

1 minute ago, Mr Grey said:

And i will 2nd that 

Where do I sign the petition 👍🏼

2 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

And i will 2nd that 

We know why you don’t like them 😁

3rd that

7 minutes ago, Rudy’s Message said:

It’s not the time for sick jokes 

#essentials

Crtical sectors as identified by the department of education last night as below;

Schools are only going to continue care for vulnerable children and those whose parents are critical to the covid19 response and cannot be cared for safely at home.

Health and social care workers, including volunteers, social workers, and those working in the supply chain of medical goods

Teaching and Nursery staff

Justice system workers

Religious staff, charity workers delivering key frontline services

Those responsible for the management of the deceased

Journalists and broadcatsers providing public service broadcasting

Local and National Government administrative occupations essential to the effective delivery of the Covid19 response or delivering essential public services such as benefits

Food production, processing, distribution, sale and delivery workers.

Necessary goods production, processing, distribution sale and delivery workers (eg hygenic and veterinary medicne goods)

Police and support staff

MOD civilian, contractor and armed forces

National crime agency staff

Border security, prison, probation staff

Transport workers including those who keep the air, water, road and rail passenger and freight systems operating

Utilities, communication and financial services staff, including workers in banks, building societies, finance markets, oil, gas, water sectors, IT, data infrastructure, civil nuclear, chemicals, telecommunications (network, field engineering, call centre staff)

Postal workers,

Payments providers

Waste disposal

999 and 111 staff

 

Who's missing -  large elements of Building trade, Hospitality, Sports, Fashion/Beauty, Entertainment, Manufacturing/Processing/Distribution/retail of non essential goods, Advertising/PR, Gambling 

 

 

 

Depending on interpretation, that covers 99% of jobs I reckon

Grey areas indeed 

will you have to prove to schools what work you do?

I’m good with chemicals. 

7 minutes ago, peelyfeet said:

Crtical sectors as identified by the department of education last night as below;

Schools are only going to continue care for vulnerable children and those whose parents are critical to the covid19 response and cannot be cared for safely at home.

Health and social care workers, including volunteers, social workers, and those working in the supply chain of medical goods

Teaching and Nursery staff

Justice system workers

Religious staff, charity workers delivering key frontline services

Those responsible for the management of the deceased

Journalists and broadcatsers providing public service broadcasting

Local and National Government administrative occupations essential to the effective delivery of the Covid19 response or delivering essential public services such as benefits

Food production, processing, distribution, sale and delivery workers.

Necessary goods production, processing, distribution sale and delivery workers (eg hygenic and veterinary medicne goods)

Police and support staff

MOD civilian, contractor and armed forces

National crime agency staff

Border security, prison, probation staff

Transport workers including those who keep the air, water, road and rail passenger and freight systems operating

Utilities, communication and financial services staff, including workers in banks, building societies, finance markets, oil, gas, water sectors, IT, data infrastructure, civil nuclear, chemicals, telecommunications (network, field engineering, call centre staff)

Postal workers,

Payments providers

Waste disposal

999 and 111 staff

 

Who's missing -  large elements of Building trade, Hospitality, Sports, Fashion/Beauty, Entertainment, Manufacturing/Processing/Distribution/retail of non essential goods, Advertising/PR, Gambling 

 

 

 

At wife’s primary school they’ve asked parents who’s in the key workers sector they’ve 80 kids out of 400. 

Lidl in Farnworth has plenty of milk if anyone struggling. Prepare to queue, and watch the fireworks. 

 

2m my arse at the checkouts

5 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

Im just pretending at the moment, looking at a blank screen and pretend tapping my keyboard, and waiting for updates from the DFE regarding how we move forward with this years exam results.

From next week im in work on a voluntary rota, College will open Tue, Wed and Thu, they just want key staff in to keep the place ticking over and making it accessible for vulnerable Students, those who have proper shit home lifes and going to School or College is a release and a safe place. Will probably work 1 or 2 days a week, im happy to do it as long as i remain intact.

How many toilets are there in your college??

1 hour ago, kent_white said:

On a weird note.

If the country ever needed to something to bring us back together after Brexit - it's this virus!

In every crisis is an opportunity! 

On an even weirder note, if Boris ever needed something to back track on Brexit , it’s this virus ...

 

 

1 hour ago, kent_white said:

On a weird note.

If the country ever needed to something to bring us back together after Brexit - it's this virus!

In every crisis is an opportunity! 

everyone is being nice to each other

I randomly chatted to some women last night walking my dog, turns out she lives 3 doors down 

went to the shop earlier, everyone waving at each other across the road as they walk on by - it's all bit odd, but good to see

the only cuntish behavior I've heard of was in our local morrisons, some old dear was leaning in to get the last two packs of bog roll, and some scroate dived in and swiped them - the held them up to her face and went " boooom", and carried on his shop as normal

 

2 minutes ago, ZicoKelly said:

everyone is being nice to each other

I randomly chatted to some women last night walking my dog, turns out she lives 3 doors down 

went to the shop earlier, everyone waving at each other across the road as they walk on by - it's all bit odd, but good to see

the only cuntish behavior I've heard of was in our local morrisons, some old dear was leaning in to get the last two packs of bog roll, and some scroate dived in and swiped them - the held them up to her face and went " boooom", and carried on his shop as normal

 

Somebody should have leathered him. And. Whoever is telling that story and hasn’t leathered them should also get their cunt kicked in too

Saw some bloke excitedly shoving the last 3 packs of 4 bog rolls into his basket in my local Co-op last night. Called him a knobhead and he looked sheepish, but carried on anyway.

Question -

what are the rates of infuflenza and influenza related deaths in china and Italy in any normal year?

and could their death rates be high because they aren’t used to getting flu? 

(Question raised by a mental pub cleaner at the galleon pub in Blackpool) 

7 minutes ago, Cheese said:

Saw some bloke excitedly shoving the last 3 packs of 4 bog rolls into his basket in my local Co-op last night. Called him a knobhead and he looked sheepish, but carried on anyway.

It’s going to cause full on scrapping soon 

1 minute ago, radcliffewhite1 said:

It’s going to cause full on scrapping soon 

Wait till the looting starts. 

 

 

29 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

Im just pretending at the moment, looking at a blank screen and pretend tapping my keyboard, and waiting for updates from the DFE regarding how we move forward with this years exam results.

From next week im in work on a voluntary rota, College will open Tue, Wed and Thu, they just want key staff in to keep the place ticking over and making it accessible for vulnerable Students, those who have proper shit home lifes and going to School or College is a release and a safe place. Will probably work 1 or 2 days a week, im happy to do it as long as i remain intact.

But goes back to my question 

regarding schools how do they police who’s parents are key workers and not 

most could tip up yeah in a key worker off you pop 

1 minute ago, gonzo said:

Wait till the looting starts. 

 

 

I’ve my eye on a few bits at John Lewis 

Highest rates in Europe normally ('flu deaths, Italy) - even counting yer Kosovos and Albanias etc.

Source: bloke in the pub

Speaking of which...

The news that ale stocks are running low is really sobering news.

In fact this development has led me to think the pollen count is high today, or this house needs a good dusting. Very concerning and worrying to me.

They didn't even ration beer in World War II (some WWII lads on the piss, pictured below).

https://warontherocks.com/2015/06/a-farewell-to-sobriety-part-two-drinking-during-world-war-ii/

As a related aside, in Astley Bridge Asda at 9pm Wednesday - the booze aisles had been ravaged, ale especially  - no Guinness, Becks, Heineken etc. but, sticking out like a sore thumb, an untouched stack of crates of Carling, even terminal zombies retain a modicum of taste it seems.

Edited March 20, 20206 yr by Youri McAnespie

Yet most of the local breweries are doing free home delivery or pickup, fancy that

3 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

7 buildings on an enclosed Campus, 

= 5 floor, 4 floor, 2 x 3 floor, 2 floor and a 2 x single floors with toilets on every level for Students and Staff. 

 

I will bring the van you collect the loo rolls. Next year we will be millionaires 

3 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

7 buildings on an enclosed Campus, 

= 5 floor, 4 floor, 2 x 3 floor, 2 floor and a 2 x single floors with toilets on every level for Students and Staff. 

 

Number 1 janitor 

18 minutes ago, gonzo said:

Question -

what are the rates of infuflenza and influenza related deaths in china and Italy in any normal year?

and could their death rates be high because they aren’t used to getting flu? 

(Question raised by a mental pub cleaner at the galleon pub in Blackpool) 

I've heard that question asked loads. They're missing the point entirely.

A more pertinent form of the question would be "How many people have to spend a few days on a ventilator to recover from a normal influenza that we already have a vaccine for?"