Slow news day? The real deal? End of the world? 
 

They’re saying it probably came from an animal, has Somebody been shagging monkeys again? 

The buyer of my house has dropped his price by 5k on the very last minute 

cnut 

2 minutes ago, Rudy’s Message said:

How’s the beard coming along?

his flaxen haired beard?

1 minute ago, Rudy’s Message said:

How’s the beard coming along?

Nicely. It’s a mixture of beautiful colours. Dark, brooding bristles mixed with noble north European flax, sprinkled with hints of silver.

Gonna be a beauty.

Sturgeon announced that all non essential shops should close - as should any business that cannot guarantee social distancing or ideally let people work from home. Building sites shut too.

That will be the message from Boris - not a total lockdown but probably a sensible step to really specifically hammer home what is required. 

6 minutes ago, Sweep said:

Mounts won't be happy!

It'll be the wrong experts advising.

12 minutes ago, Nobster said:

It’s your last day of freedom for a while, Boris to announce lockdown from tonight.

Where have you got that from can I ask? Or just a hunch?

10 minutes ago, mickbrown said:

Nipper’s doing school work sent to her through Microsoft Teams

Every 30 mins. Dad? Daaad? Daaaaaad?

Reinforces why I fucked off teaching for a living

Had you down as a natural teacher!

Just now, boltondiver said:

Had you down as a natural teacher!

I would have changed schools or attended even less than I did anyway which would have been challenging!

20 minutes ago, Spider said:

No barbers/hairdressers for 2 months. Going to be some wondrous barnets on show.

My Mrs is a hairdresser, loads of her customers been cancelling their appointments, looking likely she'll be claiming SSP by the end of the week.

Lancet analysis just published - goes back to 15th March 

 

21 minutes ago, Sweep said:

I'll look like a mop, not had a hair cut for weeks already

I'm growing my ponytail back, old skool!

27 minutes ago, Spider said:

No barbers/hairdressers for 2 months. Going to be some wondrous barnets on show.

Mine is fucked already. 

Had it cut last time 6 weeks ago, was like Stig Tofting.....now I'm already like Stig of the Dump.

In 2 months I'll favour Noddy fucking Holder.

::lol:: Contagion with Jude Law is on itv2 on thursday. 

think outbreak with dustin hoffman has been on recently too. 

saw an Andromeda Strain remake recently on tv too had sandra bullocks partner in Demolition Man who sings the tv advert jingles in it. and the kid from The Champ with jon voight. 

What the frigging hell are they doing ?? ::lol::. 

 

Edited March 23, 20206 yr by e2e4
typo

23 minutes ago, Spider said:

Nicely. It’s a mixture of beautiful colours. Dark, brooding bristles mixed with noble north European flax, sprinkled with hints of silver.

Gonna be a beauty.

Splendid stuff. 
At the moment I’m sporting a John Luther Style speckled stubble.

Think I’ll then move on to the Apollo Creed Tash

Then the Trevor McDonald silver pencil tash

1 hour ago, mickbrown said:

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Most folk would think it was sensible to drive slowly through built up areas, but some cunt will want to drive at 80mph. Hence we have speed limits.

Pull the trigger Boris, as a nation we're too fucking stupid to do it ourselves

Speak for yourself. 😂

21 minutes ago, peelyfeet said:

Lancet analysis just published - goes back to 15th March 

 

People who write in the Lancet hate golf. FACT.

It's bollocks

1 minute ago, Spider said:

People who write in the Lancet hate golf. FACT.

It's bollocks

Francesco says stay at home

 

38 minutes ago, Spider said:

Nicely. It’s a mixture of beautiful colours. Dark, brooding bristles mixed with noble north European flax, sprinkled with hints of silver.

Gonna be a beauty.

10 minutes ago, Mounts Kipper said:

Speak for yourself. 😂

Aye, aye Lewis Hamilton

Dunelm closing as of tonight, though the staff have just received texts telling them to still come in tomorrow, and clean the shelves etc.

Selfish fucking twats on the Dunelm hierarchy 

Just now, Traf said:

Spider looked like that already 😊

37 minutes ago, boltondiver said:

Had you down as a natural teacher!

I was fucking ace.

Just bored me shitless. Only lasted 3 years

 

Check the date of this tweet out

 

 

14 minutes ago, miamiwhite said:

Dunelm closing as of tonight, though the staff have just received texts telling them to still come in tomorrow, and clean the shelves etc.

Selfish fucking twats on the Dunelm hierarchy 

Argos cracking on like there's nowt happening. Debenhams shutting.