Slow news day? The real deal? End of the world? 
 

They’re saying it probably came from an animal, has Somebody been shagging monkeys again? 

12 minutes ago, Spider said:

You can ignore the American numbers because their mon at the top reckons the testing is causing the issues.

 

9 minutes ago, Sweep said:

That US number should start to drop soon, as hes told them to slow down the testing - I reckon they should stop testing completely, then they'd look really good

No, really... wow.

7 minutes ago, Spider said:

They started going downhill after season 3 anyway. Plot was just repetetive.

Gone a bit far fetched 

9 minutes ago, Spider said:

They started going downhill after season 3 anyway. Plot was just repetetive.

The sequel is due in November. 

Covid 2, The Phlegmpire strikes back.

So The Temple pub in Manchester can have one person in, if there’s no bar man. Splendid.

The best bit - you have to give your name and address to the pub landlord/manager before you can enter.

Best of luck with that, Mr Wetherspoon,

1 hour ago, Spider said:

Just thinking it through

A pub, using the distancing guidelines, can seat say 40 people as an example

you have 30 people queueing outside

One group in your pub are nursing 4 halves of bitter. Everyone else showing zero signs of leaving.

Group of 4 at the front tell the landlord they will happily chuck £100 over the bar straight away. Group nursing the £5 worth of drinks are told to fuck off.

Scrap breaks out in pub and queue as tempers fray.

Landlord just tells everyone to come inside to keep the peace

And that'll be that.

anyone who is 30th in a queue to get in a pub needs their bumps feeling

Just can't see a landlord lasting very long with people queueing and tempers fraying. They'll just let folk in.

Otherwise, 4th July will be utter utter carnage.

i hope it chucks it down on the 4th

13 minutes ago, Spider said:

Just can't see a landlord lasting very long with people queueing and tempers fraying. They'll just let folk in.

Otherwise, 4th July will be utter utter carnage.

if supermarkets can find doormen, then pubs can too - no way they just going to have a member of staff keeping an eye on the door

1 minute ago, victor meldrew said:

i hope it chucks it down on the 4th

Anybody queuing waiting for a pub to open on the 4th should be exterminated

The world would be a better place

 

Just seen one pub advert:

3 hour booking slot

Minimum 6 guests to secure slot

£50 deposit non refundable redeemed against drinks

fuck off after 3 hours you cunts, just as you're getting a good sway on

Table service

 

I'll stay in.

 

5 minutes ago, Spider said:

Just seen one pub advert:

3 hour booking slot

Minimum 6 guests to secure slot

£50 deposit non refundable redeemed against drinks

fuck off after 3 hours you cunts, just as you're getting a good sway on

Table service

 

I'll stay in.

 

is the right answer

will look at the state of play August 1st myself

till then, it's me and the growler

Bit harsh

I hope she doesn't read this site

I'll be looking at a meal after a couple of weeks

Pubs, I'm really not interested

12 minutes ago, Casino said:

I'll be looking at a meal after a couple of weeks

Pubs, I'm really not interested

cause your a tight arse

280 today https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/#countries

15 minutes ago, victor meldrew said:

cause your a tight arse

because he needs five people to want to go with him to complete the booking

3 minutes ago, ZicoKelly said:

because he needs five people to want to go with him to complete the booking

Cock

Bound to be a bit difficult for the perenially faux confused brigade

Sounds shit. I think I'll give it miss.

Let me know when they're opening properly.

Won’t be fucking queuing 

anyway steak house booked for 5th 

So we're allowed to go and get pissed and have a meal out but my lads not allowed to school til September, no out of school clubs, swimming or indoor play areas. 

Proper head fuck for the young kids this. 

1 hour ago, Spider said:

Just seen one pub advert:

3 hour booking slot

Minimum 6 guests to secure slot

£50 deposit non refundable redeemed against drinks

fuck off after 3 hours you cunts, just as you're getting a good sway on

Table service

 

I'll stay in.

 

Jesus. I’ve decided I’m not missing the pub anymore. That sounds utter shite. 

 

 

I’m sure the locals will be missing some integral characters when they reopen. Just won’t be the same