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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Posted
1 minute ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Definitely being Ebenezer this year.

No tree, no presents, and the most non-Christmas dinner.

Maybe pizza and cheese garlic bread and fries.

Side of mushy peas or just pour it all over the pizza? 

Posted
1 minute ago, little whitt said:

Just done the Christmas shop in Tesco £45 

was like a Zombie Apocalypse 

with a club card all Veg was only 19p 

It was surprisingly empty yesterday. They’re definitely trying to entice the Aldi shoppers into Tesco their own range of food is dirt cheap

Posted
23 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Definitely being Ebenezer this year.

No tree, no presents, and the most non-Christmas dinner.

Maybe pizza and cheese garlic bread and fries.

That’s actually made me feel quite sad. Can’t bare to think of people being alone on Christmas.

You gonna at least get a brass round to play jingle bells?

Posted
54 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

...the most non-Christmas dinner.

Maybe pizza and cheese garlic bread and fries.

Same.

Just me and my 16yr old daughter. She wants pizza, I'll prbably have a curry and/or kebab.

Wife's off to Australia for 25 days.

Posted
1 hour ago, Traf said:

Same.

Just me and my 16yr old daughter. She wants pizza, I'll prbably have a curry and/or kebab.

Wife's off to Australia for 25 days.

Getting a brass in?

Posted

Q

2 hours ago, Rudy said:

That’s actually made me feel quite sad. Can’t bare to think of people being alone on Christmas.

You gonna at least get a brass round to play jingle bells?

I live a cock's stride from the red light area - I've passed through on Christmas day and they're still working - I suppose heroin/crack addiction doesn't take a day off.

Probably plenty punters who don't do Christmas as well.

I never pay for it - probably have a wank and check in here to see how Traf's curry was.

My mam died around this time of year so don't really bother if on my tod.

Posted

I already know I’ll spend an unreasonable amount of time on xmas day picturing someone in the same postcode as me nonchalantly spooning mushy peas onto their Turkey.

I’ll tell the people round my table. A silence will descend - a disbelieving hush, sharp intakes of breath. The mother in law may faint, a hand against her forehead as she sails to the floor.

The children will stare at me, eyes like dinner plates, all festive mood temporarily set aside as Dad reveals this Yuletide horror tale.

In decades to come, the tale will be passed down through the generations like a secret recipe, but this just a warning from history.

200 years from now, my distant grandchildren will sit eating their Martian Turkey with Uranian Puddings, and their space vision will beam images of a 21st century Xmas dinner covered in mushy peas. And for a moment, unity, laughter and peace will smother the galaxy.

Mushy peas though.

Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Q

I live a cock's stride from the red light area - I've passed through on Christmas day and they're still working - I suppose heroin/crack addiction doesn't take a day off.

Probably plenty punters who don't do Christmas as well.

I never pay for it - probably have a wank and check in here to see how Traf's curry was.

My mam died around this time of year so don't really bother if on my tod.

Look on the bright side, your tears will lubricate that wank a treat.

Edited by Spider
Posted
10 minutes ago, Spider said:

Look on the bright side, your tears will lubricate that wank a treat.

I might improvise a fleshlight with a can of mushy peas as a treat.

Data 'scientists' will now probably inundate me with propaganda from Batchelors Mushy Peas Company.

I haven't seen my on/off bird in ages and my nephews and nieces are grown adults - so balls to it.

I might convert to Islam - I'm finding myself drawn to Mecca.

Posted
24 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Q

I live a cock's stride from the red light area - I've passed through on Christmas day and they're still working - I suppose heroin/crack addiction doesn't take a day off.

Probably plenty punters who don't do Christmas as well.

I never pay for it - probably have a wank and check in here to see how Traf's curry was.

My mam died around this time of year so don't really bother if on my tod.

Tie some bells to your wrist and throw some glitter in the air at the vinegar stroke 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I might improvise a fleshlight with a can of mushy peas as a treat.

Data 'scientists' will now probably inundate me with propaganda from Batchelors Mushy Peas Company.

I haven't seen my on/off bird in ages and my nephews and nieces are grown adults - so balls to it.

I might convert to Islam - I'm finding myself drawn to Mecca.

Do the SuperMosques not knock out free curry and chips on Christmas Day?

Posted
Just now, Rudy said:

Tie some bells to your wrist and throw some glitter in the air at the vinegar stroke 

Some tinsel as an improvised 'Arab strap'?

That has legs those ideas.

Bum a stuffed Santa perhaps?

Food for thought.

Cheers, Rudy.

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