What we having?

Sister in law (modest handful) and her fella split, in-laws in France, so it's just the five of us at home. If I'm honest, I can't really be arsed; it's an early Sunday dinner, and will have all the fannying around without the extra gifts and booze.

 

Anyway, kids want turkey. They didn't have mash last year, and tbf I didn't miss it; however they insist. The wife usually asks for gammon, and that's my usual contribution to a family meal. I'm looking forward to making gravy, semifredo etc in advance. Go forth good folk of WWays; inspire me with your festive fayre 

3 minutes ago, Spider said:

Do the SuperMosques not knock out free curry and chips on Christmas Day?

I had a guided tour of the one on Fletcher Street after 9/11 - dunno why, they were very nice.

Nice carpets too.

Maybe I thought I'd find RPGS or whatever.

I think it's the other lads do the free food - Sikhs.

But it’s vegetarian.

I think.

 

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

I had a guided tour of the one on Fletcher Street after 9/11 - dunno why, they were very nice.

Nice carpets too.

Maybe I thought I'd find RPGS or whatever.

I think it's the other lads do the free food - Sikhs.

But it’s vegetarian.

I think.

 

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Bag as much grub as you can, then douse them all with petrol, point your AK-47 and, well…. You know the rest 

1 minute ago, Spider said:

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Bag as much grub as you can, then douse them all with petrol, point your AK-47 and, well…. You know the rest 

AK-47 spray first then the petrol incineration ffs.

 

10 minutes ago, Dr Faustus said:

All night long

Was in the bible. When the big man was immaculately ploughing Mary , Joseph was in the next room Knocking one out whiksy the donkey peeked through the window 

10 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

Seriously, getting worse than Gillette, how many blades are the up to now 🤷

I assume this gastronomic atrocity is being cooked over a flaming mattress out on the front street?

@Rudy

I reckon' Judas nobbed her - the dirty fucker, then stitched up his own son who he never acknowledged.

Until he fondled his bollocks in the garden of Eden to grass him up to the Roman dibble.

I agree the donkey was involved at some point.

Noah, pissed up on Concorde 'wine' peered through the stable door and wanked.

It's all in the black bible aka The Torah.

 

Edited December 21, 20214 yr by Youri McAnespie

48 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

Apparently we are up to a 9 (nine) bird roast ... 

Up 2 from 7 (seven) last year.

I genuinely thought you were joking so I had a look. I don’t know if it’s obscene or genius 

26 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

@Rudy

I reckon' Judas nobbed her - the dirty fucker, then stitched up his own son who he never acknowledged.

Until he fondled his bollocks in the garden of Eden to grass him up to the Roman dibble.

I agree the donkey was involved at some point.

Noah, pissed up on Concorde 'wine' peered through the stable door and wanked.

It's all in the black bible aka The Torah.

 

Aye had ramifications for years after
 

I heard Judas was driving on the night of the last supper so couldn’t drink. Big J though was knocking back bloody Mary’s like there was no tomorrow (HA!) 
 

When it came down to it Big J said yeah let’s split the bill equally, Judas who’d been on the perier had been stitched up like a Jew at Easter. 

Off to Pontius Pilot he went, Pontius was still fuming at the cowboy job Joseph did to his mams vestibule, so they hatched a plan.

Jesus meanwhile stumbled down to the old star and garter, lured into the bogs by Mary Magdalene and enticed to the first ever gloryhole

All in the bible. Shalom

1 hour ago, Rudy said:

I genuinely thought you were joking so I had a look. I don’t know if it’s obscene or genius 

Aye had ramifications for years after
 

I heard Judas was driving on the night of the last supper so couldn’t drink. Big J though was knocking back bloody Mary’s like there was no tomorrow (HA!) 
 

When it came down to it Big J said yeah let’s split the bill equally, Judas who’d been on the perier had been stitched up like a Jew at Easter. 

Off to Pontius Pilot he went, Pontius was still fuming at the cowboy job Joseph did to his mams vestibule, so they hatched a plan.

Jesus meanwhile stumbled down to the old star and garter, lured into the bogs by Mary Magdalene and enticed to the first ever gloryhole

All in the bible. Shalom

I reckon' Joaquin Jesus and Chewital Peter were bum chums and Mary and Susan were their beards. They went 'fishing' at night on The Caspian Sea or whatever but were really just bumming each other like them shepherds in Hamburger Hill.

I also think James the Lez got involved.

It's all in the holy Quaran.

I'm not knocking Christianity but with theories being he could have been gay, black or a woman why not add another possibility.

Perhaps his/her birthday was in summer, the advantages being. . . .

We could go out in shorts and tee shirts. No big coats on the back of chairs. Less pockets to lose your keys, phone, cash in.

We could sit outside, making pubs bigger and more healthy.

We could walk home in healthier warmer weather.

Christmas dinner could be a nice salad or light snack.

It would give us time to get ready for the next money maker, New Year.

Win win, if you ask me.

 

3 minutes ago, Francis Fogarty said:

I'm not knocking Christianity but with theories being he could have been gay, black or a woman why not add another possibility.

Perhaps his/her birthday was in summer, the advantages being. . . .

We could go out in shorts and tee shirts. No big coats on the back of chairs. Less pockets to lose your keys, phone, cash in.

We could sit outside, making pubs bigger and more healthy.

We could walk home in healthier warmer weather.

Christmas dinner could be a nice salad or light snack.

It would give us time to get ready for the next money maker, New Year.

Win win, if you ask me.

 

I blame the Pagans.

They had a mid winter festival that was hijacked by the Christians to make their idea more acceptable.

Just saying the other day that Christmas should be in mid summer in covid times

It is in summer for everyone below the equator

22 minutes ago, Spider said:

It is in summer for everyone below the equator

Because they're god squad they bum their wives instead of vaginal as birth control - Pope John Paul Jones approved this - that why Mercury's nefarious invented disease HIV is so prevalent there.

Edited December 21, 20214 yr by Youri McAnespie

I know it's not Christmas Dinner related but I've been baking with the kids today. By baking I mean I did it all and let eldest egg wash 😂😂

Fanny Cradock ain't got nowt on me you bunch of homos. 

 

Edited December 22, 20214 yr by bolton_blondie

I think Greggs can rest easy! 

Quality control have got some size issues there

5 minutes ago, Duck Egg said:

I think Greggs can rest easy! 

Fuuuuuuck off 😂😂

3 minutes ago, Leyther_Matt said:

Quality control have got some size issues there

She wanted big ones and little ones. I just wanted big ones. Fnar Fnar. 

1 hour ago, bolton_blondie said:

I know it's not Christmas Dinner related but I've been baking with the kids today. By baking I mean I did it all and let eldest egg wash 😂😂

Fanny Cradock ain't got nowt on me you bunch of homos. 

 

Nice! 

I've got 18 coming round tomorrow night. Was 6 but my Mrs keeps inviting people 🙄 Wouldn't mind but she's at work all week so no time to make anything. Been cooking all fucking yesterday and today for people I don't even want to come.

That with the door going every 30 mins for things she's ordered and people on the street delivering cards.... just put it through the letter box and fuck off.

Apparently I'm doing the pub quiz tonight.... yippee.

Anyone else got anything planned for them this Christmas?

 

 

 

 

Look quality those.

Just done some mango chutney, now onion marmalade on the go.

Baking tomorrow. 

1 hour ago, wanderer1984 said:

Nice! 

I've got 18 coming round tomorrow night. Was 6 but my Mrs keeps inviting people 🙄 Wouldn't mind but she's at work all week so no time to make anything. Been cooking all fucking yesterday and today for people I don't even want to come.

That with the door going every 30 mins for things she's ordered and people on the street delivering cards.... just put it through the letter box and fuck off.

Apparently I'm doing the pub quiz tonight.... yippee.

Anyone else got anything planned for them this Christmas?

 

 

 

 

18 people round and no invite in sight. 
 

fuckin nice one 

1 hour ago, wanderer1984 said:

Nice! 

I've got 18 coming round tomorrow night. Was 6 but my Mrs keeps inviting people 🙄 Wouldn't mind but she's at work all week so no time to make anything. Been cooking all fucking yesterday and today for people I don't even want to come.

That with the door going every 30 mins for things she's ordered and people on the street delivering cards.... just put it through the letter box and fuck off.

Apparently I'm doing the pub quiz tonight.... yippee.

Anyone else got anything planned for them this Christmas?

 

 

 

 

Hello BORIS 

3 hours ago, bolton_blondie said:

I know it's not Christmas Dinner related but I've been baking with the kids today. By baking I mean I did it all and let eldest egg wash 😂😂

Fanny Cradock ain't got nowt on me you bunch of homos. 

 

do look good them

i only eat them COLD 

1 hour ago, little whitt said:

do look good them

i only eat them COLD 

They do em at a farm shop I go to. They have a sage leaf baked inside- bloody fantastic, equally so cold. Bit like a good pork pie.

2 hours ago, little whitt said:

Hello BORIS 

Yeah 18 and counting. Does seem alot with whats going on but asked them all to take a LF before coming. All have had the jabs so don't see what the problem is. 

Might stand at the door with a digital thermometer. 38° and above... you're not coming in.

3 minutes ago, wanderer1984 said:

Yeah 18 and counting. Does seem alot with whats going on but asked them all to take a LF before coming. All have had the jabs so don't see what the problem is. 

Might stand at the door with a digital thermometer. 38° and above... you're not coming in.

18? I thought I was a fertile bastard.