Xmas Dinner

[Not in Crawley]

3 minutes ago, wanderer1984 said:

Yeah 18 and counting. Does seem alot with whats going on but asked them all to take a LF before coming. All have had the jabs so don't see what the problem is. 

Might stand at the door with a digital thermometer. 38° and above... you're not coming in.

18? I thought I was a fertile bastard.

[Traf]

4 hours ago, wanderer1984 said:

Anyone else got anything planned for them this Christmas?

Nope, nothing at all.

[Youri McAnespie]

It's one of life's great pleasures failing to acknowledge it in any way.

I might take the shahadapter and convert to Islam to avoid this annual rubbish.

Then I'd have to do Ramadan though.

If it's so good (Christmas not Divali) why have those messages for The Samaritans scrolling across the telly during some awful Carry On film?

(On Christmas Day).

Edited December 22, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Not in Crawley]

On 21/12/2021 at 19:13, Francis Fogarty said:

I'm not knocking Christianity but with theories being he could have been gay, black or a woman why not add another possibility.

Perhaps his/her birthday was in summer, the advantages being. . . .

We could go out in shorts and tee shirts. No big coats on the back of chairs. Less pockets to lose your keys, phone, cash in.

We could sit outside, making pubs bigger and more healthy.

We could walk home in healthier warmer weather.

Christmas dinner could be a nice salad or light snack.

It would give us time to get ready for the next money maker, New Year.

Win win, if you ask me.

 

There is a decent episode of Dead to Me which explains Christmas, Christianity etc

[Casino]

2 hours ago, wanderer1984 said:

Might stand at the door with a digital thermometer.

Dont bother

Complete waste of time

[FrancisFogarty]

5 hours ago, little whitt said:

Fanny Cradock ain't got nowt on me you bunch of homos. 

 

There was a Fanny Craddock cookery programme where they were making doughnuts. At the end Johnny says "I hope  your doughnuts turn out like fannys."

[FrancisFogarty]

2 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

There is a decent episode of Dead to Me which explains Christmas, Christianity etc

2000 years the Holy Joes have been trying to explain it and Dead to Me had it all along.

Well I'll be fucked.

[Not in Crawley]

1 minute ago, Francis Fogarty said:

2000 years the Holy Joes have been trying to explain it and Dead to Me had it all along.

Well I'll be fucked.

Not really, it's just a nice explanation of Christmas from medieval times to now.

If you're not a fan or reading or history, enjoy your ignorant smugness.

[FrancisFogarty]

And my final moan about it is one I've said for years,

It's the enforced jollity that gets me going. You've got to be seen to be enjoying yourself even if you're not. 

And when the inevitable "What did we get for Christmas" thread starts can I be the first to say, 'not what I wanted, a bit of fucking peace.'

[Rudy]

6 minutes ago, Francis Fogarty said:

And my final moan about it is one I've said for years,

It's the enforced jollity that gets me going. You've got to be seen to be enjoying yourself even if you're not. 

And when the inevitable "What did we get for Christmas" thread starts can I be the first to say, 'not what I wanted, a bit of fucking peace.'

You know what, if my Mrs got up one day with sprog, left me a note to say she’ll be back tonight, and I didn’t have to do any housework or chores or errands and I was completely left to do fuckin nothing all day I’d take that as a Christmas present 

I’m a man of simple pleasures 

[stevieb]

2 minutes ago, Rudy said:

You know what, if my Mrs got up one day with sprog, left me a note to say she’ll be back tonight, and I didn’t have to do any housework or chores or errands and I was completely left to do fuckin nothing all day I’d take that as a Christmas present 

I’m a man of simple pleasures 

A man being left alone = priceless 

[Rudy]

1 minute ago, stevieb said:

A man being left alone = priceless 

Stevie please watch this

 

[wanderer1984]

1 minute ago, Rudy said:

You know what, if my Mrs got up one day with sprog, left me a note to say she’ll be back tonight, and I didn’t have to do any housework or chores or errands and I was completely left to do fuckin nothing all day I’d take that as a Christmas present 

I’m a man of simple pleasures 

Hear! Hear! 

I'd get up... possibly have a fryup. Walk the dog. 

Watch a movie or a bit of xbox.

Crack open a beer or maybe a swift one down the pub.

Takeaway 

Watch a bit of footy in peace.

That'll do me just fine.

[Rudy]

Just now, wanderer1984 said:

Hear! Hear! 

I'd get up... possibly have a fryup. Walk the dog. 

Watch a movie or a bit of xbox.

Crack open a beer or maybe a swift one down the pub.

Takeaway 

Watch a bit of footy in peace.

That'll do me just fine.

If I got that I’d even just turn my phone off, stick my music on. 
Imagine if a woman did that 4 times a year for their fellas

Divorce stats would plummet

[stevieb]

10 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Stevie please watch this

 

🤣 Accurate as fuck! 

[Youri McAnespie]

What if they drop your child off with their mam then spend all afternoon getting nobbed in an Ibis by a sales rep they met on Tinder?

Listening to tunes at full whack and getting pissed home alone wouldn't be as 'magic' then.

On return sniff their knickers for the telltale smell of condom or worse Bob Monk if affirmative - a saw, a suitcase, some dust sheets and a midnight drive to The Peak District.

Edited December 22, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Rudy]

1 minute ago, Youri McAnespie said:

What if they drop your child off with their mam then spend all afternoon getting nobbed in an Ibis by a sales rep they met on Tinder?

Listening to tunes at full whack and getting pissed home alone wouldn't be as magic then.

Sniff their knickers for the telltale smell of condom or worse Bob Monk if affirmative - a saw, a suitcase, some dust sheets and a midnight drive to The Peak District.

Course it would 

She’s happy, kid is happy,  man is happy 

[Youri McAnespie]

Speak for yourself - personally I get enraged even learning about past dalliances before I'd even met a girl.

I've often paid them back for telling me with encounters of my own with girls of easy virtue.

And not washed my nob after.

[Traf]

46 minutes ago, Rudy said:

If I got that I’d even just turn my phone off, stick my music on. 
Imagine if a woman did that 4 times a year for their fellas

Divorce stats would plummet

My wife flies to Oz on Xmas Eve until Jan 17th.

Can't wait tbh.

[Rudy]

2 minutes ago, Traf said:

My wife flies to Oz on Xmas Eve until Jan 17th.

Can't wait tbh.

It’s healthy and needed mate 

[FrancisFogarty]

11 hours ago, stevieb said:

A man being left alone = priceless 

That's what I mean. Never underestimate the value of your own company.

[wanderer1984]

20 hours ago, Rudy said:

18 people round and no invite in sight. 
 

fuckin nice one 

There you go Rudy, just for you veggies .... a chestnut, sage, butternut squash and parmesan fake sausage roll 😉

[Traf]

I didn't think Parmesan was veggie?

[Rudy]

3 minutes ago, wanderer1984 said:

There you go Rudy, just for you veggies .... a chestnut, sage, butternut squash and parmesan fake sausage roll 😉

Nice one mate. I’ll fetch a box of wine and a kc and the sunshine band record  and we’ll have a right ol’ knees up 

[Rudy]

Just now, Traf said:

I didn't think Parmesan was veggie?

Don’t eat it anyways. Something about the smell of feet puts me off