Recent Filums I've Watched

[Youri McAnespie]

She stated categorically that anyone who'd seen these pictures would have zero chance of shagging her.

So, thanks a lot, for pissing my chips as now I've seen it the next time I'm in Hollywood and bump into her my chance of nobbing her is now zero - I couldn't lie to her and say I hadn’t seen her ring piece,  well I say bump into, I actually mean lurking in her garden bushes and peering through her windows watching and wanking. 

[Spider]

2 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

She stated categorically that anyone who'd seen these pictures would have zero chance of shagging her.

So, thanks a lot, for pissing my chips as now I've seen it the next time I'm in Hollywood and bump into her my chance of nobbing her is now zero - I couldn't lie to her and say I hadn’t seen her ring piece,  well I say bump into, I actually mean lurking in her garden bushes and peering through her windows watching and wanking. 

I bet her turds are a perfect type 4 (Bristol Stool Chart) every single time.

one wipe but barely a trace.

 

[Youri McAnespie]

22 minutes ago, Spider said:

I bet her turds are a perfect type 4 (Bristol Stool Chart) every single time.

one wipe but barely a trace.

 

I was with a Shakira lookalike (D cup on a tiny frame 5') She left her thong on the floor once - I couldn't resist doing a Whitt and giving it a sniff - it smelt like the bogs at Burnden - I couldn't believe such a smell could come from a fragrant flower. When I was about fourteen a mate had a Milf mum - they had their laundry hamper in the bathroom - I was in having a piss and investigated, a pair of lacy knickers, I stuck them on my head and had a wank, when I was putting them back I noticed white stains in the crotch, too much to be fanny batter, it must've been my mate's dad's jizz after he had nobbed his wife and she'd stuck her knickers back on.

Edited January 23, 2022 by Youri McAnespie

[Spider]

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

I was with a Shakira lookalike (D cup on a tiny frame 5') She left her thong on the floor once - I couldn't resist doing a Whitt and giving it a sniff - it smelt like the bogs at Burnden. When I was about fourteen a mate had a Milf mum - they had their laundry hamper in the bathroom - I was in having a piss and investigated, a pair of lacy knickers, I stuck them on my head and had a wank, when I was putting them back I noticed white stains in the crotch, too much to be fanny batter, it must've been my mate's dad's jizz after he had nobbed his wife and she'd stuck her knickers back on.

Someone’s just told a very similar tale on Songs of Praise.

[Youri McAnespie]

23 minutes ago, Spider said:

Someone’s just told a very similar tale on Songs of Praise.

Her out of Blue Peter, the God bothered who presents it, rummaged in Pope John Holmes II's laundry during a piss break at the Vatican, she got his boxers out and and improvised a dildo out of a toilet tube and a carrier bag and frigged herself off - with his holiness's undercrackers on her face, when she put them back she noticed he'd shat himself in them, so she converted to Satanism.

Edited January 23, 2022 by Youri McAnespie

[Zico]

 

 

[e2e4]

"the time machine" is set roughly 802k years from 1902 or thereabouts. 

the mike from neighbours version is anyway

Edited January 23, 2022 by e2e4
yeah

[Zico]

Not sure where they got 1995 from for clockwork orange from either

[Spider]

2 hours ago, Zico said:

 

 

That’s ace!

12 monkeys is getting another watch this week

[Cheese]

56 minutes ago, Spider said:

That’s ace!

12 monkeys is getting another watch this week

Superb film. It's available on BBC iPlayer at the moment. Think it's the first film I ever saw at the cinema without my parents.

[Not in Crawley]

12 hours ago, Cheese said:

Superb film. It's available on BBC iPlayer at the moment. Think it's the first film I ever saw at the cinema without my parents.

The first time you went alone to the pictures was 1996? 

Thought you were older than that for some reason.

[Cheese]

18 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

The first time you went alone to the pictures was 1996? 

Thought you were older than that for some reason.

I was 15. Thinking about it now, I probably went alone before that, but can't remember what I might've watched. 12 Monkeys probably sticks in the mind because I enjoyed it so much.

Edited January 24, 2022 by Cheese

[Not in Crawley]

Just now, Cheese said:

I was 15. Thinking about it now, I probably went alone before that, but can't remember what I might've watched.

Remeber spending loads of saturday afternoons at the cinema in town with mates - Rocky V for some reason sticks in the mind as the whole place was chanting Rocky, rocky at the end!

And Back to the Future II

[Cheese]

15 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Remeber spending loads of saturday afternoons at the cinema in town with mates - Rocky V for some reason sticks in the mind as the whole place was chanting Rocky, rocky at the end!

And Back to the Future II

My parents were fucking brassic until the mid/late 90's, so I rarely went anywhere apart from Burnden until I started earning.

Edited January 24, 2022 by Cheese

[Youri McAnespie]

14 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Remeber spending loads of saturday afternoons at the cinema in town with mates - Rocky V for some reason sticks in the mind as the whole place was chanting Rocky, rocky at the end!

And Back to the Future II

Rocky V? Straight to Sky that one.

Bag of shit.

Rocky IV was rumoured to have bent the dividers due to the crush to get in, a Boltonian urban myth, it was probably a pisspot veering into them (the railings in a Ford Escort). We did have to queue for about the length of the film though to get in.

I made my sister (aspirins on ironing board) to take me to see Pet Semetary - as a kid, she was more perturbed than me, I'd read it so knew what was coming. Zelda was played by a bloke.

Edited January 24, 2022 by Youri McAnespie

[Not in Crawley]

Decided to watch Star Wars in order.

First thing, how dodgy was it to make those bad trade folks sound Chinese?

And the script, oooooh the script. Ouch.

[Smiley]

Finally got around to watching Blade Runner 2049. Not grabbing me so far (about 50 mins in).

[Smiley]

Have mentioned it before…. Saw it at the cinema…. But its now showing on Sky - THE ALPINIST. Gripping stuff.

[Zico]

1 hour ago, Smiley said:

Finally got around to watching Blade Runner 2049. Not grabbing me so far (about 50 mins in).

Neither that or the original have ever done it for me 

Really want to like the original, it looks smart, but never hits home 

So have just started on Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep to see how I get on with that 

Hopefully I'll enjoy it. 

Then watch Blade Runner again

[MickyD]

13 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

Decided to watch Star Wars in order.

First thing, how dodgy was it to make those bad trade folks sound Chinese?

And the script, oooooh the script. Ouch.

Chronological order or film release order?

[Not in Crawley]

4 minutes ago, MickyD said:

Chronological order or film release order?

Chronological, not watched 1-3 for years. Hard going.

[MickyD]

I’ve not watched beyond the first one which is probably the third one these days.

[Youri McAnespie]

They're all varying degrees of shite.

I recall when they were making that new one, they leaked a few pictures including one of a script reading, that Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) was looking at the script intently, glasses on the end of his nose...

Why?

All he does is growl.

[Leyther_Matt]

Been to see Belfast tonight. Really enjoyed it. Clever move to see it largely through the eyes of a 9 year old rather than the more serious angle you’d expect for anything to do with The Troubles, albeit maybe a bit TOO much of a nostalgia trip for Kenneth Branagh on that front. 

[Cheese]

13 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

They're all varying degrees of shite.

I recall when they were making that new one, they leaked a few pictures including one of a script reading, that Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) was looking at the script intently, glasses on the end of his nose...

Why?

All he does is growl.

He actually spoke his lines, then they dubbed the growling afterwards.