Slow news day? The real deal? End of the world? 
 

They’re saying it probably came from an animal, has Somebody been shagging monkeys again? 

3 michelle keegans 

fucking hell

Imagine having a michelle Keegan whose only job it was to lick your balloon knot whilst the other two cracked on.

 

Edited April 24, 20206 yr by Spider

6 minutes ago, Spider said:

3 michelle keegans 

fucking hell

Imagine having a michelle Keegan whose only job it was to lick your balloon knot whilst the other two cracked on.

 

I reckon she’s that kinda bird as well

Goes at it like she’s getting the last bit of coke in the corner of the bag

1 hour ago, radcliffewhite1 said:

Like a fine wine mate👌

the old goats on wanderersways would have an heart attack if Keegan jumped on them😀

It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Just now, Rudy’s Message said:

I reckon she’s that kinda bird as well

Goes at it like she’s getting the last bit of coke in the corner of the bag

Best kind of bird that very eloquently described pal 

4 minutes ago, Escobarp said:

Best kind of bird that very eloquently described pal 

Classy lassy

7 minutes ago, Rudy’s Message said:

I reckon she’s that kinda bird as well

Goes at it like she’s getting the last bit of coke in the corner of the bag

That's just the sort of thing to include in a modernised set of wedding vows. 

21 minutes ago, ProfessorWoland said:

That's just the sort of thing to include in a modernised set of wedding vows. 

I got married in Corfu so I pretended to the wife that I had been learning Greek and was going to do my vows in Greek. I got it in there. 

1 hour ago, Steejay said:

Oh no we fuckin wouldn’t. 😜

Best 2 minutes of your life steejay😀

40 minutes ago, Traf said:

It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Make sure your life insurance is good

1 hour ago, Mr Grey said:

Speak for yourself, im a shaggin machine 😁

Not what Mrs grey said

A bingo game in our street tomorrow 

6 minutes ago, boltondiver said:

A bingo game in our street tomorrow 

Bonus for the first person to have 85, staying alive

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8253341/Police-rushed-funeral-gunman-opened-fire-mourners-Manchester-cemetery.html

looks like the good people of Gorton are immune to Corona 

 

Edited April 24, 20206 yr by royal white

Update from a mate in Dubai

"Dubai lifted some restrictions today, letting places open as long as only to 30% capacity and people wore masks and kept tables 4m apart and were sensible

4 irish pubs shut down by police and fined by as every English person rocked up getting pissed. Pics of all the pubs packed.

Plus ... being first day of Ramadan so pics of all the westerners pissed at lunch time hasnt gone down well "

9 minutes ago, royal white said:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8253341/Police-rushed-funeral-gunman-opened-fire-mourners-Manchester-cemetery.html

looks like the good people of Gorton are immune to Corona 

 

What motivates some of those saddos to risk their own health, attending the funeral of a gangster that they probably never even knew? Mr Pinnock doesn't read as a big loss to society, does he?

Just now, Mr Grey said:

I see our national religious festival ramadam is all over the news.

The Christian one which was a couple of weeks ago at Easter passed without any incidents and was hardly mentioned on the news, i suppose as the UK is a predominately Christian country, its hardly worth a mention because nobody really gives a fuck.... or so they say.

My sarcasm precedes me, as you where ✝️

The Rastafarian national holiday was on Monday and no one said shit. I was outraged had to smoke a load of weed to calm me down 

22 minutes ago, royal white said:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8253341/Police-rushed-funeral-gunman-opened-fire-mourners-Manchester-cemetery.html

looks like the good people of Gorton are immune to Corona 

 

And the daft fuckers on Westminster Bridge again last night    

 

768 today's deaths , 5386 new cases 

2 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

New cases up, that's worrying

More testing?

4 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

New cases up, that's worrying

84 from some Welsh backwater that hadn’t been reporting properly. So around 680 actual 

problem is these figures aren’t just last 24 hours. So much crossover going on hence why it needs to be taken with a slight pinch of salt in terms of accuracy 

5 minutes ago, jeep said:

More testing?

I'd say that's a big part of it. I know of a few people almost certain to have had it 2 or 3 weeks ago but never tested

12 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

New cases up, that's worrying

Not necessarily - we're testing more now than we've ever done. So the numbers are probably going to shoot up. 

The numbers of deaths per day is probably the only way we're going to be able to judge if things are working....

13 minutes ago, jeep said:

More testing?

That’s the sort of positivity we like to see here 

5 minutes ago, mickbrown said:

That’s the sort of positivity we like to see here 

Fuck off prick

I like Ramadan.

4 tins of KTC legumes, toms, chickpeas etc. for a quid.

£4 for 5kg of Basmati.

2l of Vimto for two quid.

What's not to like?

Easter is shit since they stopped putting stuff in the eggs.

 

12 minutes ago, kent_white said:

Not necessarily - we're testing more now than we've ever done. So the numbers are probably going to shoot up. 

The numbers of deaths per day is probably the only way we're going to be able to judge if things are working....

Bit final, though

 

7 minutes ago, jeep said:

Fuck off prick

Et tu, Brute?

Thought we were supposed to be the snowflakes? 😀