Site Supporter Spider Posted March 5, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted March 5, 2021 Like most, I've ended up with half an eye on more daytime telly over the last few months. Here are some things I have noticed: * The target market for advertisers are hard up pisspots (Loan shark companies) and elderly coin collectors who love Spitfires and that (Michael Burke earnestly encouraging the nation's coffin dodgers to buy half a sovereign with a picture of the Red Baron on or something like that. * That massive bird from Middlesbrough (Stef?) who looks like a cross between Max Headroom and Hulk Hogan has a lunchtime show that seems to be produced by a load of 12 year olds with a camcorder and a running order written by some pigeons that have trod in a puddle of ink. * There's a lot of people who don't work that spend their time either buying £5 antiques or £50,000 timeshares about 40 miles from the nearest Spanish beach, all whilst claiming it's luxurious and exactly what they've always dreamed of when they'd have been better off buying a 4th floor flat in Walsall overlooking a nearby metal fabrication factory. It must be responsible for the bulk of UK suicides. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athywhite1958 Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 I've worked at home since April last year and don't have the telly on at all, as soon as the fun prevention officer goes to work I turn it off and put the radio on, I saw bits of it early days and it was shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted March 5, 2021 Members Share Posted March 5, 2021 Escape to the country is the worst one. Recently retired Graham and Margaret want to downsize to a min 4 bed, 2 bath, detached house in The Cotswolds with enough acres of land for their 2 Yorkshire terriers to piss in. Budget is £750,000. Fuckers never buy the houses shown. Always left to 'think about it' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Homes under the hammer i never get bored of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 3 minutes ago, radcliffewhite1 said: Homes under the hammer i never get bored of it the creepy very short bloke who presents it, he's got the smallest hands in the world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 3 minutes ago, Sweep said: the creepy very short bloke who presents it, he's got the smallest hands in the world Probably look small against big Dions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Good reason not to retire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 (edited) Homes Under The Hammer... Some posh woman bought a flat above a shop in Brixton, she got a bloke to give it a lick of paint, put a new lighbulb in the stairwell and a new towel ring and bogroll hook in the toilet. Resold it within about six weeks for about £90k+ more than she paid. Never watched it since. Wankers, I despise mammon begats mammon. Apparently 'Escape to the Chateau' is responsible for loads of bourgeouis self-loathing Brits to squander their ill-gotten gains on moneypit tramp's nests in La France. Neglecting to consider he's got a Major's Army pension, his missus' family are quite well off and they have all that TV money coming in. Loads of these monied wankers are in the poorhouse now, good 😀 (apart from that Stephanie upper-crust tart - I'd be her handyman anytime). Minder - it's on daily on a constant loop, coming to the end now, soon be back to the first ones with Dennis Waterman, the early ones often jump and miss out episodes, presumably because they're unscreenable now. Cheers - surprised Sam Malone hasn't come under the #metoo spotlight. Find it, fix it, flog it - find one that ain't on its fourteenth repeat. It stays off now, apart from Minder, I have a late lunch during that. Edited March 5, 2021 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 3 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said: Apparently 'Escape to the Chateau' is responsible for loads of bourgeouis self-loathing Brits to squander their ill-gotten gains on moneypit tramp's nests in La France. Neglecting to consider he's got a Major's Army pension, his missus' family are quite well off and they have all that TV money coming in. My bosses wife is co-owner of an events company with that woman, they're apparently quite a nice couple. Anyhow, get this, folk pay a fortune to go and stay at the Chateau and help tend to the land and do jobs around the gaff. Basically, well to do folk, forking out loads of cash to go and plant runner beans and build wattle and daub outhouses just so they can feel like "at one with the earth" and pretend they're environmentalists who "make do and mend" and can be self sustaining................even though they've driven down from their 6 bed detached barn conversion in Tring in their gas guzzler Range Rover Sport, with only a Fortnum & Mason hamper for sustenance on the journey. I think I've turned into Youri 😗 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 im off work next week and have all the best intentions of hardly watching anything. Plenty of time to look at a box when im dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 10 minutes ago, Sweep said: My bosses wife is co-owner of an events company with that woman, they're apparently quite a nice couple. Anyhow, get this, folk pay a fortune to go and stay at the Chateau and help tend to the land and do jobs around the gaff. Basically, well to do folk, forking out loads of cash to go and plant runner beans and build wattle and daub outhouses just so they can feel like "at one with the earth" and pretend they're environmentalists who "make do and mend" and can be self sustaining................even though they've driven down from their 6 bed detached barn conversion in Tring in their gas guzzler Range Rover Sport, with only a Fortnum & Mason hamper for sustenance on the journey. I think I've turned into Youri 😗 I don't mind the couple nor the programme. Most of the others seem alreet tbh. I just wonder how the others made enough money to go and create fucking yoga retreats etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Over 50s life cover says everything you need to know about daytime tv Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little whitt Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Spider said: Like most, I've ended up with half an eye on more daytime telly over the last few months. Here are some things I have noticed: * The target market for advertisers are hard up pisspots (Loan shark companies) and elderly coin collectors who love Spitfires and that (Michael Burke earnestly encouraging the nation's coffin dodgers to buy half a sovereign with a picture of the Red Baron on or something like that. * That massive bird from Middlesbrough (Stef?) who looks like a cross between Max Headroom and Hulk Hogan has a lunchtime show that seems to be produced by a load of 12 year olds with a camcorder and a running order written by some pigeons that have trod in a puddle of ink. * There's a lot of people who don't work that spend their time either buying £5 antiques or £50,000 timeshares about 40 miles from the nearest Spanish beach, all whilst claiming it's luxurious and exactly what they've always dreamed of when they'd have been better off buying a 4th floor flat in Walsall overlooking a nearby metal fabrication factory. It must be responsible for the bulk of UK suicides. stef would you have a bash its a lesbo its a strage looking thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escobarp Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 4 minutes ago, little whitt said: stef would you have a bash its a lesbo its a strage looking thing I’d smash it all Over the place. Repeatedly. not sure how I would feel if she was looking back at me with the massive heed but I would find a way to deal with it. warm And wet that’s all that matters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 (edited) Since I've turned it off, even though it was mainly just background noise, I've noticed an increase in my productivity - my thinking is clearer and more focused. I'd forgot how stupifying telly can be. One time, at a point when I only had one telly, it blew up - it was in the middle of the premiere of that Stone Roses documentary, it annoyed me so much I thought "Fuck you, then" and didn't bother replacing it. Went about eight or nine months without one and didn't bother with i-player etc. either. I got loads done in that period. Lots of people, especially new visitors, thought it was batshit crazy not having one. I might give it up entirely again... Hmmm. 🤔 Edited March 5, 2021 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 8 minutes ago, little whitt said: stef would you have a bash its a lesbo its a strage looking thing It's probably from all the chemicals they put in her chips. She's a smogmonster. They have so-called chefs on that strange show of hers, aside from one (Ruby?) who's easy on the eye too, the stuff they produce looks like a 3am post-pissup effort. She obviously is an uncivilized beast as she is largely oblivious to how shite the food is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Underpants Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 I have not watched day time tv since Pebble Mill at 1 was on. I have not seen 1 second of Good Morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 1 hour ago, radcliffewhite1 said: Probably look small against big Dion's cock Martin "Piano Hands" Roberts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted March 5, 2021 Members Share Posted March 5, 2021 2 hours ago, bolton_blondie said: Escape to the country is the worst one. Recently retired Graham and Margaret want to downsize to a min 4 bed, 2 bath, detached house in The Cotswolds with enough acres of land for their 2 Yorkshire terriers to piss in. Budget is £750,000. Fuckers never buy the houses shown. Always left to 'think about it' “Yeah we’ve really struggled to buy one we truly like” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted March 5, 2021 Members Share Posted March 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Rudy said: “Yeah we’ve really struggled to buy one we truly like” 'The views Graham, the views!' Piss off you posh twats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Traf said: Martin "Piano Hands" Roberts? https://twitter.com/danielmaier/status/1310670958945021953 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted March 5, 2021 Members Share Posted March 5, 2021 2 hours ago, radcliffewhite1 said: Homes under the hammer i never get bored of it There are some right grotty holes on it, but if it’s near a tube stop to London, throw on another £200k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 (edited) A Place in the Sun. "Hmmm...the windows are a bit small" It's Andalucia you thick twats - have fucking panorama windows and you could grow tomatoes year round indoors. "I don't like the tiles - it needs a carpet..." "It's a bit small for the grandkids" You've probably got twenty or thirty years left, the grandkids will probably want to come to your piss-smelling hovel for three/four years tops - fuck the grandkids. I'm sure some just go on it for a free holiday. That said, I think it's pointless moving anywhere for 'the sun' that ain't ten (or less) minutes walk from the sea. Edited March 5, 2021 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 A Place In The Sun is another. Yeah, we'd like a 3-bedroomed detached villa with pool near the beach in Puerto Banus for £80k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted March 5, 2021 Members Share Posted March 5, 2021 39 minutes ago, Traf said: A Place In The Sun is another. Yeah, we'd like a 3-bedroomed detached villa with pool near the beach in Puerto Banus for £80k This is a programme I do like. Add on 20k because if you dangle over the balcony you can see the ocean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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