Peter North

Got up in a half baked mood the other month, got washed, dressed, suited and booted, remembered to spray me pits in me bestest deodorant, and covered em in a large blast of shaving foam. Doh!!!

Hmm, she has quite a body of work behind her doesn't she! She actually looked in fine fettle last night.

Former BB contestant and porn star, Nichola Holt, the "Slag from the Flag", bizarrely enough. Claiming she is back in Bolton for good, having had enough of Londoners etc Passed up the chance to ask her about Rear Enders and Big Bummer. Doh!

Exercise helps. A sweaty workout and ten minutes in t'steam room at gym, or the 'ale room' as it has been christened gets rid of plenty of toxins. Must have sweated at least ?150 on to t'steam room floor over the last 24hrs.

...errr, we don't mention that little episode anymore. Hurr hurr hurr!

For me... Albums.. TV on the Radio "Dear Science" The Hold Steady "Stay Positive" Gig of the year Raconteurs @ Liverpool Academy

Johan Elfmander

RIP Oliver Postgate Noggin The Nog The Clangers Ivor the Engine Classics. Shattering news!

Set off once, came back home. Any chance of getting through Bolton town centre, on to Deane Rd, up the M61 off at Reebok, up the a6 and in to Wiggin? Boss wants me to have another go asked if I could take the train!

I had a peanut allergy at school. They used to make me play russian roulette with a bag of revels!

That sir, is one Mr Heyes. I'm jealous!!!

Is the lad having a mid-life crisis? Photo evidence needed of those camouflage monstrosities urgently worst part of a cracking day out!!!

Jut dug out the White Love Vault, and had a tearful night in with the man-flu! All issues of White Love, Come on feel The Wanderers, Here we Go Again, and the legendary Volly Viking are saved for posterity! Spoke with the ex-editor of Here We Go Again about trying to do an online archive in the next twelve months. May need everyone's help on this one. Any takers? Best bit's being.. The Dark ages "Loyal white - he hate's the shite" "Dear Brownie" and the legendary HWGA Birthdays, al la... " A big greeting goes out to Daniel. who's birthday is on Wednesday. Daniel attends our Lady of Lourdes school in Chequerbent and regularly plays in defence for the school team. Daniel's favourite player is John Mc Ginlay 'cos he's "ragging Ace!", and his latest hobby is under-age sex. "I'm thirteen, and I think it's great he chirped up!".

I am available. Smiley. PM me!

He ame round ours, looking like Gandalf with a withered arm. Thought he got stuck in the old 'Porn Vortex'!

Russell Brand should have buggered her senseless till she couldn't shit right for a month. Might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb, as they say, eh?!

Snowed in T'Haulgh this morning! Damn!!!

Glad to read that this tosser had been keeping up the 'honourable' Nazi tradition of bumming the younger male members of his party. According to the papers, he died after a lovers tiff, with his latest piece of fluff, who now heads the party! Oooh, the irony of it all!

A rubber fist

What about when you re-enacted the exorcist at white hart lane, one cold december, on Nathan Blakes debut, just after I got you a big greasy pie from the food counter, eh?

A bit of a man-beast really!

Wot about Seasick Steve?

CSI Emmerdale Murder in't backwoods!

Just 'aquired', ahem, a copy of their new long player, due to hit the shops on Monday. Hitting the sweet spot, so to speak, by being a cross between the House of Love and T'Jesus and Mary Chain. Sung in some god-awful Scottish brogue. Anyone else shown an interest in t'next big thing?

I'd boil her knickers and drink the soup. Hurr, hurr, hurr!