Kane57 Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Goon in our office hasn't come in today - rang up this morning and said he couldn't come to work because he had his window open all night and has a stiff neck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomski Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 What's wrong with that? Sounds life threatening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted September 30, 2013 Site Supporter Share Posted September 30, 2013 Goon in our office hasn't come in today - rang up this morning and said he couldn't come to work because he had his window open all night and has a stiff neck. Is he a giraffe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kane57 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 No, he's a lazy bastard. I've used the old failsafe "sickness and diarrhoea" in my time, never anything as soft as a sore neck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DazBob Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad here went home in tears when Fergie quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad here went home in tears when Fergie quit. we had one phone in when Jacko died. She said I was horrid when I called him a kiddie fiddler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomski Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad here went home in tears when Fergie quit.I am picturing this with everyone pointing and shouting Munich at him. I bet it wasn't as good as I imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiley Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 We once had a guy go home sick with a cold sore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Goon in our office hasn't come in today - rang up this morning and said he couldn't come to work because he had his window open all night and has a stiff neck. I used that one when i was about 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent_white Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Never feign an injury as an excuse to stay off work. I pretended I'd cracked a rib once. Had a couple of days off and then had to act like I was in pain every time I moved for the next month. Curiously - once it started to 'get a little better' - I used to get people to feel my rib where it had 'broken'. Every single one of them reckoned they could feel it. Mind control! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 A Good mate of mine pretended he was ill to stay of school when he was about 10. Unknowingly he gave the exact symptoms of sever appendicitus, he near enough got to the operating table before he told them he was making it up and even then they still didnt believe him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Never book 2 days off for an all-dayer before a night match and a recovery day by claiming you're going "down South" for a relative's funeral, only to be seen on Granada Soccer Night by your boss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kane57 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad here went home in tears when Fergie quit. One of the bosses in my last job died unexpectedly, everyone found out when they came in the next morning. Main boss kept the place open but said that anyone who was too cut up about him dying could leave - so I fucked off. I'd only been there three days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent_white Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Another ex Missus once decided fake a whiplash injury after a car crash with an impact speed of <3mph. She went to her GP who asked her to visit A&E to get checked out. She was put in neck brace and made to lie on a bed for about 6 hours until a Consultant had a chance to look at her x-ray. My favourite part came when a Doctor came in and told her he was going to stick his finger up her arse to make sure she had no internal injuries or paralysis. She did get a pay out but by 'eck she had to work for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Dr Carlos? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieb Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Working in a call centre has had it's fair share. Every one seems to have numerous underlying conditions. There's at least 2 people off a day who "have been up all night throwing up". If that has ever happened to anyone without it being booze related you are lying. FACT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter superjohnmcginlay Posted September 30, 2013 Site Supporter Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad at our place knows so many folk who have died I'm starting to wonder if he killed them Or really if they exsist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieb Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad at our place knows so many folk who have died I'm starting to wonder if he killed them Or really if they exsist There was a girl at ours who had that many relatives dying in Pakistan I thought something similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad who used to be on my team, lost about 5 grandparents over the last 3 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad who used to be on my team, lost about 5 grandparents over the last 3 years. That's just careless. Did he ever find any of them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 That's just careless. Did he ever find any of them? Nah, lost with his 2 cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad who used to be on my team, lost about 5 grandparents over the last 3 years. TBF, I lost all mine within 4 years in my late teens/early 20s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamiwhite Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lad here went home in tears when Fergie quit. heard that was you because you knew Moyes was to leave Everton and take charge of a big club Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 Lazy bitch at work who's about 3 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy went home after dinner because she had a bit of a fucking sniffle. Lazy bitch couldn't get out of the building any quicker! She also refuses to do most things at work because of being knocked up but muggins here is expected to do it all. Bloody ray guns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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