no balls Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Lots of "fuck" "twat" "cocksucker" & the ofice favourite "cunt" which is best said about 6 times in a row at our place That's about it really Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athywhite1958 Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Our gaffer says we must 'work smarter' WTF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter White on Tyne Posted October 22, 2013 Site Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2013 KPIs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 KPIs We had those at a previous place. They saw my being unable to suffer fools gladly as a negative. Righto! & they wondered why I had no interest in moving to another continent to work for them Load of bollocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Lots of "fuck" "twat" "cocksucker" & the ofice favourite "cunt" which is best said about 6 times in a row at our place That's about it really I'll bet you're in the thick of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules_darby Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Malcolm Tucker would be right at home on here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan.Kerr Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Used to hear these all day long until I got redunderised. After that I took stock, listened to my inner self and told myself to pull my socks up. Then I got a job as a support worker / driver working with people with learning and physical disabilities. I still get up at the same time but now it's with a cheery click of my heels. Money's crap but the job's great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 It's an old cliche, but get a job you love and you'll never work a day again, or sommat like that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elson Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 New one at my place is Swim lane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 New one at my place is Swim lane. Are you working at Horwich Baths? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 The Jason Kenny Baths? Complete with silhouettes of him on a bike poolside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesRight Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Blue sky thinking and touch base makes my stomach churn more than watching a clamped arsehole talk to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter fatolive Posted October 22, 2013 Site Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2013 "left field" and "going forward" as in, it's come out of left field and we are going to have to deal with it going forward. bullshit speak of the highest order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pato Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 anyone who uses "think outside the box" is so in the the box they are talking to schrodingers cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Especially bollocks are the ones originating in American sports (or America in general). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adlington Trotter Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 The word "engage" instead of "talk." If you have to "engage" with someone you might be asked to "butt heads" with them. You might then have to "cascade" the information to your team. wankers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 How is he these days (the cat)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pato Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 50/50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 One of my favourites from years back was 'I'm aiming for a seamless company with a golden thread', brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olispence Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 The word "engage" instead of "talk." If you have to "engage" with someone you might be asked to "butt heads" with them. You might then have to "cascade" the information to your team. wankers. A personal fave of mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Norpig Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Il ping you an E-Mail fuck off you cunt makes my piss fizz. "fire/drop you an email", just send it you clown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Is "I'll fire you an email" rather than 'send', a disclaimer, pointing out said email will be lacking in grammar, correct spelling and possibly utilizing txt speak - because they're 'firing' it and haste is of the essence? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DazBob Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Is "I'll fire you an email" rather than 'send', a disclaimer, pointing out said email will be lacking in grammar, correct spelling and possibly utilizing txt speak - because they're 'firing' it and haste is of the essence? Shirley not worse than (chav speak rather than office jargon) someone saying "inbox me"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I wouldn't know as I haven't got an 'inbox' to 'inbox' - virtual or actual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules_darby Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Right I use office jargon sometimes, but I'm with you on "inbox me". What happened to "mail me"....send me a message? But my real pet hate at the moment (and it's not office based bastardisation of language) is the fashion for adding of "ing" to every fucking word: For example "I'm loving twix bars" What's wrong with "I love twix bars"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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