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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Daytime Telly


Spider

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The adverts are worse begging for money, dis boys got pneumonia dis boys got pneumonia, then the over 50 bloke happy as fuck because he’s got his funeral insurance sorted (it’s fuck all to be happy about)Then the poor donkeys that look like they’d be better put out of there misery.  Proper depressing stuff. 

Edited by Mounts Kipper
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1 minute ago, Mounts Kipper said:

The adverts are worse begging for money, dis boys got pneumonia dis boys got pneumonia, then the over 50 bloke happy as fuck because he’s got his funeral insurance sorted. Then the poor donkeys that look like they’d be better put out of there misery.  Proper depressing stuff. 

I forgot to mention the donkeys. They must be raking  the dosh in given the amount they spend on telly advertising.

 

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4 hours ago, Spider said:

Like most, I've ended up with half an eye on more daytime telly over the last few months.

Here are some things I have noticed:

* The target market for advertisers are hard up pisspots (Loan shark companies) and elderly coin collectors who love Spitfires and that (Michael Burke earnestly encouraging the nation's coffin dodgers to buy half a sovereign with a picture of the Red Baron on or something like that.

* That massive bird from Middlesbrough (Stef?) who looks like a cross between Max Headroom and Hulk Hogan has a lunchtime show that seems to be produced by a load of 12 year olds with a camcorder and a running order written by some pigeons that have trod in a puddle of ink.

* There's a lot of people who don't work that spend their time either buying £5 antiques or £50,000 timeshares about 40 miles from the nearest Spanish beach, all whilst claiming it's luxurious and exactly what they've always dreamed of when they'd have been better off buying a 4th floor flat in Walsall overlooking a nearby metal fabrication factory.

 

It must be responsible for the bulk of UK suicides.

get a proper job you bum.

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I can't have the TV on working from home. Too much of a distraction and too many teams meetings and calls anyway.

I do listen to the radio sometimes though when I have a break.

When I was off with Covid, I got back into Homes Under the Hammer though, ace programme that.

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24 minutes ago, DirtySanchez said:

Homes under the hammer would be great if they included ones were they spent a shed load of money buying it, doing it up and then it’s valued at less than what they spent because it’s still a two bed terrace in Stoke 

Yes very rare you see folk losing out most make something 

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1 hour ago, Mounts Kipper said:

Then the poor donkeys that look like they’d be better put out of there misery.  Proper depressing stuff. 

 

1 hour ago, Spider said:

I forgot to mention the donkeys. They must be raking  the dosh in given the amount they spend on telly advertising.

 

 

1 hour ago, bolton_blondie said:

Love a donkey though! 

Right, the donkeys, unless it's bloody obvious like having foot long hooves or having about eight tonnes of rubble tied to them with hessian rope - how does one tell if a donkey is happy?

Even pampered neddies with gold stables and cocaine-laced hay in their manger look pissed off and hard-done-by, it's their default look.

There was sommat on the telly once about disparity in charitable contributions, apparently one single donkey sanctuary in Somerset or somewhere took more in donations than the top 3 charities for women abuse victims (abused women, not henpecked blokes 😀) put together.

I dunno how the owners of those commemorative coin peddling 'Mints' sleep at night - fucking cunts bamboozling old duffers into thinking they'll leave a 'legacy' not a load of worthless tat.

Be better off buying fucking chocolate coins or shopping trolley tokens as an investment.

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2 hours ago, Mounts Kipper said:

The adverts are worse begging for money, dis boys got pneumonia dis boys got pneumonia, then the over 50 bloke happy as fuck because he’s got his funeral insurance sorted (it’s fuck all to be happy about)Then the poor donkeys that look like they’d be better put out of there misery.  Proper depressing stuff. 

Went into the village co-op last year and they were giving out leaflets about taking out funeral insurance... the grey haired spectacled nonce on the cover looked just like me... bastards.

I like Bargain Hunt, I would love to have a go... I'd be out on some antiques fair with my ferrets and best Bowton attitude... "I'm looking for a BARGAIN pal, do as I tell you or eff off"

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I don't know whether it's classed as daytime TV but bargain loving brits in the sun is my favourite. 

Basically people moving from England with fuck all and living on a caravan park in Spain looking for work. 

"David and Steve have give up their jobs as barmen in Skegness to chase their dream of living in the sun. They're moving to Spain with no job, nowhere to live and their life savings of 4 grand" 

It's fucking ace. 

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34 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

 

 

Right, the donkeys, unless it's bloody obvious like having foot long hooves or having about eight tonnes of rubble tied to them with hessian rope - how does one tell if a donkey is happy?

Even pampered neddies with gold stables and cocaine-laced hay in their manger look pissed off and hard-done-by, it's their default look.

There was sommat on the telly once about disparity in charitable contributions, apparently one single donkey sanctuary in Somerset or somewhere took more in donations than the top 3 charities for women abuse victims (abused women, not henpecked blokes 😀) put together.

I dunno how the owners of those commemorative coin peddling 'Mints' sleep at night - fucking cunts bamboozling old duffers into thinking they'll leave a 'legacy' not a load of worthless tat.

Be better off buying fucking chocolate coins or shopping trolley tokens as an investment.

I do like how they wheel out Simon Weston now and again.

Great advert for signing up to the forces that is.

”Join the navy, and you could end up with a face like Dot Cotton’s lung, flogging Spitfire coins to dementia patients when you’re de-frocked”

 

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1 minute ago, Spider said:

I do like how they wheel out Simon Weston now and again.

Great advert for signing up to the forces that is.

”Join the navy, and you could end up with a face like Dot Cotton’s lung, flogging Spitfire coins to dementia patients when you’re de-frocked”

 

Never get any older looking that lad.

Must have an ageing portrait of himself in his attic.

Nobody ever picks June Brown for the deadpool, she favvers the walking dead and smokes like a beagle...

Whenever she's on the telly I turn over in case she pegs it live on air.

Tommy Cooper was enough.

It was the only time he actually made me laugh.

I thought he'd updated his act to compete with the zany non-sequitur stuff like The Young Ones or Monty Python...

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1 minute ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Never get any older looking that lad.

Must have an ageing portrait of himself in his attic.

Nobody ever picks June Brown for the deadpool, she favvers the walking dead and smokes like a beagle...

Whenever she's on the telly I turn over in case she pegs it live on air.

Tommy Cooper was enough.

It was the only time he actually made me laugh.

I thought he'd updated his act to compete with the zany non-sequitur stuff like The Young Ones or Monty Python...

Ahem. I picked her. 

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43 minutes ago, stevieb said:

I don't know whether it's classed as daytime TV but bargain loving brits in the sun is my favourite. 

Basically people moving from England with fuck all and living on a caravan park in Spain looking for work. 

"David and Steve have give up their jobs as barmen in Skegness to chase their dream of living in the sun. They're moving to Spain with no job, nowhere to live and their life savings of 4 grand" 

It's fucking ace. 

Do you not fancy living on Saydo Park? It's only 40 miles from the beach.

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