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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

Shittest Most Disappointing Childhood Presents.


Youri McAnespie

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1 hour ago, Rudy said:

It’s a razor blade on a rotating  handle , expected to shave down ice.

41EAWSFYYTL._AC_SX355_.jpg

I’ve got half a mind to report a historic case  to trading standards. 
If I see one at a car boot I’m going to smash it into a million pieces . The smile on the smug cunt as well.

Where is his penguin?

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Toys breaking on Christmas Day - utter shite, I had a brilliant Pacman LCD game, probably part of a one-off shipment from Japan. I was showing off 'weightlifting' with a kitchen chair and dropped it smashing Pacman - I'd had it about three hours. Could I get another one (in the New Year) could they fuck...

 

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1 hour ago, Sweep said:

What about your remote control lorry 😂

Can't remember that.  What I can remember is a couple of other kids were always razzing around their radio control cars on the park.  They were quick as fuck.  I think they were called Hornets or something like that.  I told my mum I wanted one of these for Christmas.

Christmas day arrived and I excitedly unwrapped my presents and there it was ... a remote control car with a fucking wire that was about 1 metre long.  Sensing my disappointment my Mum said, "Ooh look, it's got pop up headlights and a horn.  Thanks Mum.

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7 minutes ago, frank_spencer said:

Fucking loved my Grifter. It was a hefty beast but the twist shift gears felt like I was riding a motorbike.

With a playing card taped onto the rear fork for realistic motorbike noise and then,  next time dad decided we'd have a game of cards,  he'd count them; 1, 2, 3...50, 51, hey,  there's a card missing.  No matter,  we can use a joker. 

Question  - when we taped the card to the forks,  why didn't we use a joker to save our dad the hassle of overwriting the required card onto the joker?  

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26 minutes ago, MickyD said:

With a playing card taped onto the rear fork for realistic motorbike noise and then,  next time dad decided we'd have a game of cards,  he'd count them; 1, 2, 3...50, 51, hey,  there's a card missing.  No matter,  we can use a joker. 

Question  - when we taped the card to the forks,  why didn't we use a joker to save our dad the hassle of overwriting the required card onto the joker?  

That was the thing wasn’t it, use the joker for your bike?

I had a grifter until I got a BMX, first one I had was a m0nggoose fuck me it was Lightweight. First bunny hop I flew off it 

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1 hour ago, DazBob said:

Can't remember that.  What I can remember is a couple of other kids were always razzing around their radio control cars on the park.  They were quick as fuck.  I think they were called Hornets or something like that.  I told my mum I wanted one of these for Christmas.

Christmas day arrived and I excitedly unwrapped my presents and there it was ... a remote control car with a fucking wire that was about 1 metre long.  Sensing my disappointment my Mum said, "Ooh look, it's got pop up headlights and a horn.  Thanks Mum.

I remember it, but you were only about 4

It was an articulated lorry, with a hard wired control, very much like this, but without the coolness of the ladder. It was that shit it wouldn't work properly on the carpet, so you could only use it in the Kitchen (this is when we lived on Le Gendre St)  -  same year, I got a Raleigh Budgie, which was like a Chopper, bit smaller and without the gears....it had obviously come from a second hand shop, as it was rusty as fuck.

Happy Days 🙂

 

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9 minutes ago, Rudy said:

That was the thing wasn’t it, use the joker for your bike?

I had a grifter until I got a BMX, first one I had was a m0nggoose fuck me it was Lightweight. First bunny hop I flew off it 

I bet it was a similar experience when you went from your original ebony F1000 (which by the way, is now a collectors item) to your carbon fibre F3000

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Going through to Mistry's shop on our BMXs me and a mate would 'surf' standing on our crossbars - this was when it was rat run to the hospital too. I went from Strika straight to BMX. I remember trying to 'Endo' the Strika by peddling at full pelt to a kerb, the Strika stayed where it was, I did a 360 over the handlebars.

Edited by Youri McAnespie
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10 minutes ago, Sweep said:

I remember it, but you were only about 4

It was an articulated lorry, with a hard wired control, very much like this, but without the coolness of the ladder. It was that shit it wouldn't work properly on the carpet, so you could only use it in the Kitchen (this is when we lived on Le Gendre St)  -  same year, I got a Raleigh Budgie, which was like a Chopper, bit smaller and without the gears....it had obviously come from a second hand shop, as it was rusty as fuck.

Happy Days 🙂

 

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An uncle bought me a shit wired car, I got bored with it in ten minutes and decided sticking the steering thing on the chassis on my hair was a good idea - I had a bald patch at eight. We used to mock kids with Budgies and Choppers - I felt like Sonny Crockett in his Ferrari on my BMX.

Edited by Youri McAnespie
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25 minutes ago, Sweep said:

I bet it was a similar experience when you went from your original ebony F1000 (which by the way, is now a collectors item) to your carbon fibre F3000

Stuck it on top speed and punched a hole in my lung

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All you show offs with your BMX’s

i pleaded for one one year, everyone had one or was getting one , I wanted a mongoose but even a Raleigh Burner would have done, so long as it was BMX . 
my dad was like the “ I was right about that saddle though “ bloke, said they were shit, no mudguards , gears or lights , wouldn’t go far on one etc . 
Thought he was bluffing , and that Christmas morning I’d come down to one, but no, there it was, a Raleigh Tiempo, sensible bike with full length mudguards, sturmey archer 3 speed gears , a fucking bell & reflectors and lights powered by a dynamo that was like switching an exercise bike up to 10 when you put it on and the main selling point to my dad, one of those mouse trap bag carriers and side panniers . 
I could have cried , in fact I may have done .
in truth it was a much better bike than anyone in the street had, but it wasn’t cool and I couldnt join in with the cool kids doing bunny hops and 3 brick ramps or even do a wheelie .   I just had to cycle around like a French onion seller on my own with lads laughing at me. 
my dads response of “ let’s see who’s laughing when they try go up Garstang ave  with no gears eh” didn’t make it any easier to deal with 

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I always wanted a BMX, I don't think I ever got one, as close as I got was one of these

See the source image

 

After that bike, for some reason I went onto wanting a racing bike, and ended up with my cousins Raleigh Banana

 

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By the time I was about 15, I didn't own a bike and don't think I ever have since  -  I certainly don't need one now that I've got a car 

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3 minutes ago, fatolive said:

. my dads response of “ let’s see who’s laughing when they try go up Garstang ave  with no gears eh” didn’t make it any easier to deal with 

Garstang Avenue is twat of a hill, I cocked more gears going up there than anywhere - Miguel Indurain would struggle. Raleigh Burners were decent - especially the white and blue with mag wheels. I drunkenly bid on two Om Flyers about ten years ago and won, one was in Bournemouth one in Bristol - I had to give them a score in compo. each after pretending my nephew had used my laptop/account to bid.

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