floyd

I think reebokvoice is a smashing chap. I shall, of course be requesting the usual birthday dedication to my old man over the Xmas period. Thanks in advance.

Indeed. As I said I had a fantastic time and most of the Bolton and Madrid fans had a laugh with us too.

The 'leader' wasn't Martin.

JT is a c*nt and so we have to take him at his word that he could identify one when he sees one. The problem is his choice of adjective. Garth Crooks has said that JT is not racist. Paul Ince has said JT is not racist. Neither have denied he's a c*nt though. Hope that clarifies things but just to reiterate, JT is A CUNT!

I don't know about the nutter wanting mates but I was one of Megson's Merry Men, yes. It was a good laugh at the time and we were interviewed by Spanish TV, Spanish radio and Five live. Top trip.

Erm......

Guimaraes, Munich and Madrid for me. Being the Glory hunting tw*t that I am.

Erm, HBAHT?

Dear Jim Please could you fix it for me to have your marathon place in 2012?

Yes. But the meter suppliers (sub meters) would pay the leccy providers (network operators) for their supply. The individual flat owners could use who the hell they liked. So in a block of 8 flats you could have 8 different suppliers, but only one service provider. None of this has anything to do with the landlord, who sounds like a nonce.

Happy Birthday! I'm a miserable old sod and I'm 6 years your juniour!

There was, until recently, a Gropecunt Alley in central London. Guess what it was famous for?

Did she have to count her labia when you'd finished?

If these are separate apartments he shouldn't be involved anyway. The 'leccy board would have informed her (as the billpayer) that the meter needed changing and arranged a time when she was available to give them access to her flat. If her rent includes utility bills she still has to grant permission for the landlord and them to enter the premises. If the meter is in the communal area then they wouldn't need access to her flat anyway. And 7 days to fit a few meters is taking the piss. Tell her with the big busters to tell the landlord to fuck off, from me.

Out on the lash in Bolton a few years ago I noticed this stunning petite, but buxom blonde across the bar (It was early and the beer goggles weren't on) Suddenly she sees me looking and gets up and, with a big smile, walks across the room towards me. ''Hello'' she says ''remember me? I'm *****. We went to Primary School together'' ''Crikey'' says I ''you've not grown much, have you'' At which point she turns on her heels and walked back to her mates.

Which is why you could never be fined for it, ergo it probably isn't a tyre pressure gauge system.

I think this is not right. How can a mat tell the size and type of vehicle, and the weight it is carrying, to gauge whether there is sufficient pressure in the tyres?

When you were born, you were the: 3,462,052,740th person alive on Earth 77,456,122,679th person to have lived since history began

You're. And thanks.

Do you think the cameraman, on the edge of the ice hole where the Orca Pod came up, did that scene before or after they filmed them knocking seals off ice floes with their waves? I'm thinking before. Cracking telly!

Antidisestablishmentarianism. Never had the opportunity.

How do you wake someone who's already awake?

What, just now? Have you been in a coma?

Martin Samuel Sir Alex Ferguson Harry Redknapp Jamie Redknapp

14/24 I sicken me.