What we having?

Sister in law (modest handful) and her fella split, in-laws in France, so it's just the five of us at home. If I'm honest, I can't really be arsed; it's an early Sunday dinner, and will have all the fannying around without the extra gifts and booze.

 

Anyway, kids want turkey. They didn't have mash last year, and tbf I didn't miss it; however they insist. The wife usually asks for gammon, and that's my usual contribution to a family meal. I'm looking forward to making gravy, semifredo etc in advance. Go forth good folk of WWays; inspire me with your festive fayre 

1 hour ago, Escobarp said:

Gravy or curry on the chips and the fish

Did I just read that you actually put the gravy or curry on the fish? And turn the batter soggy? I thought better of you 

On the chips only 

Just now, MancWanderer said:

Did I just read that you actually put the gravy or curry on the fish? And turn the batter soggy? I thought better of you 

On the chips only 

No I have a small very precise amount on the fish in the middle. Chips smothered. Scraps resting on top of the lot uncovered by any sauce just a dash of vinegar and salt.  
 

Im at my mums next week and fish chips gravy and scraps is getting tanned. No mushy peas. 

1 minute ago, Escobarp said:

No I have a small very precise amount on the fish in the middle. Chips smothered. Scraps resting on top of the lot uncovered by any sauce just a dash of vinegar and salt.  
 

Im at my mums next week and fish chips gravy and scraps is getting tanned. No mushy peas. 

Jack's?

Wife makes her own sage and onion stuffing. A recipe passed down from her dad.

Daughter’s boyfriend, early in their courtship (do they still have courtships?) he came for Christmas dinner and asked, “What’s this? Have you never heard of Paxo?”

Well, that went well!

1 minute ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Jack's?

Of course. I’m a big fan of whitesides on halliwell rd but jacks is round the corner and quality so will be the choice. Followed by uninterrupted puppy free sleep for the evening. 

1 minute ago, Escobarp said:

Of course. I’m a big fan of whitesides on halliwell rd but jacks is round the corner and quality so will be the choice. Followed by uninterrupted puppy free sleep for the evening. 

How's he doing?

2 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

How's he doing?

Slowly getting there cheers.
Nearly 20kg already and not even 5 months old yet 😳

15 minutes ago, Escobarp said:

Scraps

No one fucking orders scraps do they... Like in real life?

Can I have the burnt greasy batter off cuts... 

They're another thing that stopped being a thing in the 70s along with whist pies and 3 day weeks. 

Pea wet 

@Whitestar

Tagging you back in... 🤣 

2 minutes ago, stevieb said:

No one fucking orders scraps do they... Like in real life?

Can I have the burnt greasy batter off cuts... 

They're another thing that stopped being a thing in the 70s along with whist pies and 3 day weeks. 

😁 nope defo still a thing and a delicacy. Even get them in marks and Spencer’s on some of their battered fish. You’re out of touch Stevie. The lack of jabs is compromising you. 

4 minutes ago, Escobarp said:

😁 nope defo still a thing and a delicacy. Even get them in marks and Spencer’s on some of their battered fish. You’re out of touch Stevie. The lack of jabs is compromising you. 

Agreed. Scraps are usually around if you want them.

Wouldn't pay for them like!

There has to be a strict hierarchy of alcohol on Christmas Day, for me anyway.

10.30am, or thereabouts, I will open a cupboard temperature ale. Timothy Taylor Landlord or Wainwright’s, something along those lines. After the bacon barms have settled.

”A pair of Directors bitters” basically.

11.30 - open your red wine and decant for later, this is essential with a Frogs Leap or De Loach level bottle. Powerful stuff but needs to breathe and soothe the tannins.

Then at noon, I’ll have a couple of glasses of champagne (it’s Jesus’s birthday for fucks sake, I have respect for the main man).

From 1-2 onwards, it’s a selection of crafty lagers and zippy, zesty IPA’s.

3-4pm, I’ll get stuck into a mushy pea-free Christmas dinner. This will be accompanied with the decanted red, and another couple of ruby ales.

6pm , wobbling a bit now but ready to pile into the port.  Washed down with some cheeses and a palate cleansing Lost Lager or 3.

8pm. It’s all hazy. Like the rivvy cloudy numbers I’m on with.

9pm. A couple of generously proportioned Old Fashioned using the Woodford bourbon I will have been bought and given a flourish with my cocktail smoking machine.

11pm. Pretend I’ll make it to the first delivery of the test match at midnight. I won’t because I’m about to hurl a gutful of rainbow like sick into the sink, then collapse on the lounge floor.

 

These instructions must be followed to the letter. Baby Jesus says so

Edited December 8, 20214 yr by Spider

18 minutes ago, Spider said:

There has to be a strict hierarchy of alcohol on Christmas Day, for me anyway.

10.30am, or thereabouts, I will open a cupboard temperature ale. Timothy Taylor Landlord or Wainwright’s, something along those lines. After the bacon barms have settled.

”A pair of Directors bitters” basically.

11.30 - open your red wine and decant for later, this is essential with a Frogs Leap or De Loach level bottle. Powerful stuff but needs to breathe and soothe the tannins.

Then at noon, I’ll have a couple of glasses of champagne (it’s Jesus’s birthday for fucks sake, I have respect for the main man).

From 1-2 onwards, it’s a selection of crafty lagers and zippy, zesty IPA’s.

3-4pm, I’ll get stuck into a mushy pea-free Christmas dinner. This will be accompanied with the decanted red, and another couple of ruby ales.

6pm , wobbling a bit now but ready to pile into the port.  Washed down with some cheeses and a palate cleansing Lost Lager or 3.

8pm. It’s all hazy. Like the rivvy cloudy numbers I’m on with.

9pm. A couple of generously proportioned Old Fashioned using the Woodford bourbon I will have been bought and given a flourish with my cocktail smoking machine.

11pm. Pretend I’ll make it to the first delivery of the test match at midnight. I won’t because I’m about to hurl a gutful of rainbow like sick into the sink, then collapse on the lounge floor.

 

These instructions must be followed to the letter. Baby Jesus says so

Jamie Oliver has nothing on you. I'd buy this DVD

Spids, at what point of proceedings does your missus lose her shit at you?

Edited December 8, 20214 yr by Winchester White

30 minutes ago, Spider said:

There has to be a strict hierarchy of alcohol on Christmas Day, for me anyway.

10.30am, or thereabouts, I will open a cupboard temperature ale. Timothy Taylor Landlord or Wainwright’s, something along those lines. After the bacon barms have settled.

”A pair of Directors bitters” basically.

11.30 - open your red wine and decant for later, this is essential with a Frogs Leap or De Loach level bottle. Powerful stuff but needs to breathe and soothe the tannins.

Then at noon, I’ll have a couple of glasses of champagne (it’s Jesus’s birthday for fucks sake, I have respect for the main man).

From 1-2 onwards, it’s a selection of crafty lagers and zippy, zesty IPA’s.

3-4pm, I’ll get stuck into a mushy pea-free Christmas dinner. This will be accompanied with the decanted red, and another couple of ruby ales.

6pm , wobbling a bit now but ready to pile into the port.  Washed down with some cheeses and a palate cleansing Lost Lager or 3.

8pm. It’s all hazy. Like the rivvy cloudy numbers I’m on with.

9pm. A couple of generously proportioned Old Fashioned using the Woodford bourbon I will have been bought and given a flourish with my cocktail smoking machine.

11pm. Pretend I’ll make it to the first delivery of the test match at midnight. I won’t because I’m about to hurl a gutful of rainbow like sick into the sink, then collapse on the lounge floor.

 

These instructions must be followed to the letter. Baby Jesus says so

🤝

Great effort

3 minutes ago, Winchester White said:

Spids, at what point of proceedings does your missus lose her shit at you?

1997

34 minutes ago, Spider said:

There has to be a strict hierarchy of alcohol on Christmas Day, for me anyway.

10.30am, or thereabouts, I will open a cupboard temperature ale. Timothy Taylor Landlord or Wainwright’s, something along those lines. After the bacon barms have settled.

”A pair of Directors bitters” basically.

11.30 - open your red wine and decant for later, this is essential with a Frogs Leap or De Loach level bottle. Powerful stuff but needs to breathe and soothe the tannins.

Then at noon, I’ll have a couple of glasses of champagne (it’s Jesus’s birthday for fucks sake, I have respect for the main man).

From 1-2 onwards, it’s a selection of crafty lagers and zippy, zesty IPA’s.

3-4pm, I’ll get stuck into a mushy pea-free Christmas dinner. This will be accompanied with the decanted red, and another couple of ruby ales.

6pm , wobbling a bit now but ready to pile into the port.  Washed down with some cheeses and a palate cleansing Lost Lager or 3.

8pm. It’s all hazy. Like the rivvy cloudy numbers I’m on with.

9pm. A couple of generously proportioned Old Fashioned using the Woodford bourbon I will have been bought and given a flourish with my cocktail smoking machine.

11pm. Pretend I’ll make it to the first delivery of the test match at midnight. I won’t because I’m about to hurl a gutful of rainbow like sick into the sink, then collapse on the lounge floor.

 

These instructions must be followed to the letter. Baby Jesus says so

Do I just turn up with a record and a bottle of something or wait for the invite in the post

2 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Do I just turn up with a record and a bottle of something or wait for the invite in the post

A Dire Straits LP and a bottle of Napa Valley red and I’ll put my A Team boxers on for you

1 minute ago, Spider said:

A Dire Straits LP and a bottle of Napa Valley red and I’ll put my A Team boxers on for you

I’ll break out the sex panther for Mrs Spider

9 minutes ago, Winchester White said:

Spids, at what point of proceedings does your missus lose her shit at you?

She disappears over my blissfully induced horizon at around 7pm.

We don’t talk until the 27th on average.

2 minutes ago, Spider said:

A Dire Straits LP and a bottle of Napa Valley red and I’ll put my A Team boxers on for you

Very homoerotic 

41 minutes ago, Spider said:

There has to be a strict hierarchy of alcohol on Christmas Day, for me anyway.

08:00am, or thereabouts, I will open 17 gallons of pea wet that will see me through till new year. 

 

Very Partridgesque. 

3 minutes ago, Rudy said:

I’ll break out the sex panther for Mrs Spider

I'm not gonna lie. It smells like pure gasoline. 

Just now, RONNIE PHILLIPS said:

Very Partridgesque. 

“Stop Getting Christmas Day Wrong!!”