Cooking hacks

[Cheese]

2 minutes ago, Big E said:

Be done by many a toaster over the years. Only recently give up and started loitering with intent ready to pop it 

Best way.

[Traf]

48 minutes ago, gonzo said:

Is it true/common knowledge that the numbers on a toaster dial equate to minutes toasted?

 

Apart from those on holidays, where they represent hours.

[Ani]

2 hours ago, L/H White said:

The real men just tip it upside down over the sink

We put ours in dishwasher. 

[gonzo]

12 minutes ago, Ani said:

We put ours in dishwasher. 

I'm about to have a bath with mine.

[bolty58]

11 hours ago, kent_white said:

Start with two slices of Japanese milk bread aged in a Himalayan salt cave. Spread liberally with cultured butter from albino cows raised exclusively on champagne-irrigated Alpine meadows. Layer with 36-month cave-aged Comté Reserve that's been serenaded daily by classical musicians and shavings of white Alba truffle harvested under a full moon. Finish with a sprinkle of edible gold leaf flakes and a mist of Krug Grande Cuvée atomized through a hand-blown crystal spritzer. Place between two heated marble slabs imported from Carrara quarries, then microwave for 45 seconds. Garnish with saffron threads hand-picked by virgin maidens at dawn and serve on a hand-painted porcelain plate that's been blessed by Tibetan monks. 

Aye. How fucking complicated do folk have to make it? It's the simplicity which makes it great - just like baked beans on toast with a fried egg on top.

It's like wine snobbery. Verbose bollocks when in truth it's just an alcoholic drink.

[Dr Faustus]

save time preparing a sunday roast by going out and not giving a fuck. 

[Spider]

5 hours ago, bolty58 said:

Aye. How fucking complicated do folk have to make it? It's the simplicity which makes it great - just like baked beans on toast with a fried egg on top.

It's like wine snobbery. Verbose bollocks when in truth it's just an alcoholic drink.

Same with scooters.

[L/H White]

4 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

save time preparing a sunday roast by going out and not giving a fuck. 

im this now. 

costs about £50 for 3 of us with drinks in the local and the food is belting 

[gonzo]

We had a good Egg Poaching chat on a WhatsApp group the other. (Its not all donkey dicks and drug pushing)

I clashed with @birch-chorleyon how to make the perfect poached eggs.

Eggs need to broken and put into a bowl a little and put in the fridge while the water boils.

Then just as the water starts boiling turn the heat down to simmer. Don't even let it start bubbling. The air in the water comprises the poaching.

Form a gentle swirl with the water, with no bubbles, then slowly sink the eggs.

Leave them to poach to your satisfaction. 

Birchy likes to have his water boiling for 3 years and uses white vinegar and shit like a witch making some poison.

 

[L/H White]

1 hour ago, gonzo said:

We had a good Egg Poaching chat on a WhatsApp group the other. (Its not all donkey dicks and drug pushing)

I clashed with @birch-chorleyon how to make the perfect poached eggs.

Eggs need to broken and put into a bowl a little and put in the fridge while the water boils.

Then just as the water starts boiling turn the heat down to simmer. Don't even let it start bubbling. The air in the water comprises the poaching.

Form a gentle swirl with the water, with no bubbles, then slowly sink the eggs.

Leave them to poach to your satisfaction. 

Birchy likes to have his water boiling for 3 years and uses white vinegar and shit like a witch making some poison.

 

shake fuck out of the egg before you crack it and the yolk falls perfectly in the center when you crack it

[Tonge moor green jacket]

I was watching "Gone Fishing" the other day, and Mortimer poached an egg in a mug, with a drop of water, in a microwave. 

Reckon I'll try it.

[athywhite1958]

Cheese on toast done on the George Foreman is spot on, 

can any of you culinary hacks tell me how to peel a boiled egg, I lose half the fucker when I do it

[L/H White]

1 minute ago, athywhite1958 said:

Cheese on toast done on the George Foreman is spot on, 

can any of you culinary hacks tell me how to peel a boiled egg, I lose half the fucker when I do it

I think it's on the quality of egg 

I usually peel as soon as it's boiled 

or just knock the top off and scoop the fucker out

[kent_white]

Do you know that if you apply equal pressure around an egg with your hand - it's practically impossible to crush it. 

This is so it doesn't smash when it come sout of a chicken's fanny presumably? 

[Spider]

18 minutes ago, kent_white said:

Do you know that if you apply equal pressure around an egg with your hand - it's practically impossible to crush it. 

This is so it doesn't smash when it come sout of a chicken's fanny presumably? 

I think you’ve probably just got arms like pipe cleaners

[gonzo]

1 hour ago, athywhite1958 said:

Cheese on toast done on the George Foreman is spot on, 

can any of you culinary hacks tell me how to peel a boiled egg, I lose half the fucker when I do it

Bang them straight in cold water.

 

[barryk32]

12 hours ago, Traf said:

Apart from those on holidays, where they represent hours.

Once round for warm bread twice round for blacker than Purple Aki.

Theres no inbetween

 

[barryk32]

1 hour ago, athywhite1958 said:

Cheese on toast done on the George Foreman is spot on, 

can any of you culinary hacks tell me how to peel a boiled egg, I lose half the fucker when I do it

Tap the bottom with a spoon before boiling until you hear a snap.  It releases the membrane from the shell.

Gamechanger

 

[athywhite1958]

20 minutes ago, gonzo said:

Bang them straight in cold water.

 

Tried it, cooked them in boiling water, in the air fryer and even bought one of those plastic things that is supposed to strip the shell off for you, and she buys decent eggs

[kent_white]

1 hour ago, Spider said:

I think you’ve probably just got arms like pipe cleaners

I'll tell you whose got arms like pipe cleaners I will. 

You have.

[Spider]

4 hours ago, kent_white said:

I'll tell you whose got arms like pipe cleaners I will. 

You have.

I’m wearing a stone island tshirt.

you'd best be really careful.

[gonzo]

21 minutes ago, Spider said:

I’m wearing a stone island tshirt.

you'd best be really careful.

@royal whites fake ones don't emit the same amount of hardness.

[Spider]

11 minutes ago, gonzo said:

@royal whites fake ones don't emit the same amount of hardness.

Tell that to the Deliveroo lad I just knocked off his bike 

[kent_white]

51 minutes ago, gonzo said:

@royal whites fake ones don't emit the same amount of hardness.

Georgio Farnworthio

[tomski]

51 minutes ago, gonzo said:

@royal whites fake ones don't emit the same amount of hardness.

Remember Wigan away when a pubhad a sign saying no stone island. Looked this lad up and down (used to post on here) then bouncer went on to tell him snide island was ok. Was brutal.