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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

The Worst Things Anyone Did At Your School...


gonzo

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I was terribly well behaved at school, the worst thing I ever did was sky a shot from under the bar on my B team debut (and, incidentally, only appearance). I did witness a girl getting licked out in the playground whilst showing a scouse lad around on his first day at our school though.

 

PE teacher (former boxer, killed someone in a fight so the story went...) used to follow us into the showers and demand to feel our backs to see if they were wet after lessons. You look back on these things and think, hang on a minute.

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i left in 2001 from high school so not that long ago really. I cringe at some of the stuff that happened. Probably end up in the big house for stuff these days. Pre mobile phones and before the CCTV boom.

 

My yr 10 &11 maths set was a bit rum. We had a teacher called Mrs Houghton who was mid50s/60s. she got dogs abuse as she had a birth mark on the side of her face which was purple. She was openly refered to as 'Vimto Stain' to her face ffs, One afternoon the class idiot who was always sat at the front so she could keep her eyes on him grabbed her room keys and lobbed them backwards and they went straight out of the open window. We were on the top floor. Houghton went out down the stairs to collect the keys. Whilst she went to collect her keys, a few put a desk at the door to stop her getting back into the classroom and she was locked outside. She just sank to her knees and sobbed

 

There were/are 3 High Schools in Ashton within a mile of each other. (two stand side by side) there was regular fights on the market in town after school. Carnage blue.brown and green blazers going hammer and tongue whilst the girls stood and watched. Wasn't a one off either it happened regularly. I remember when we were granted 'study' leave in early May my school marched up to the other schools and waited on the bottom of the playing field for them to finish and called it on. Leaving with a opposing blazer was seen as a victory.

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In the last week, my schools have had a Jihadi and someone wanking with his head out a window looking at kids.

And don't forget the teacher at our primary school as well who was done for noncing as well

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One lad in our school year drove a PE teachers car down the school drive.

A lad in the 5th year arrived at Rivi after being expelled from 2 other schools, what a fucked up knob he was. He twatted a teacher who was in his late 60s, the old fella could have had him but just walked off.

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Turton beat Westhoughton in the final of the Bolton School's Cup played at Burnden in around 1978. Next day, a dozen Westhoughton lads turned up to have a fight over something that happened after the game.

 

Three of us persuaded them to disappear before the rest of the school turned up. They scarpered!

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Fuck all happened of interest when I was at school. Obvs, since I left there's been plenty of tales of noncing, but nowt I ever noticed.

 

Worst thing we did was let stinkbombs off in the Parish Church and then fill the fountains up with bubble bath.

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We went on a School skiing trip at about 14 to Innsbruck in Austria. We got wind that there was a 'nightclub' in town and decided we'd all go en masse. After all the teachers had gone to bed, we made a makeshift rope out of betsheets and abseiled down the outside of the hotel and into the street. We managed to make our way to this nightclub which was completely empty - there were probably about 20 of us - 15 lads and 5 girls and they seemed quite happy to sell us drinks. We were in there for about an hour before the teachers turned up and dragged us all back. Thinking back it was fucking bezerk. I'd go apeshit if a child of mine did anything like that!

 

My other abiding memory is that a scally lad called Nicky spent the trip smoking weed whenever he could and listening to happy hard-core on his headphones. We were walking through the snow one night and this lovely looking elderly Austrian couple were walking arm in arm up the street in the other direction (he was complete in fetching feathered hat and moustache - that kind of look). As they were walking past, Nicky bounced over to them dancing and shouted 'WE ARE CLUB KINETIC AND WE ARE NUMBER ONE'. It still tickles me to this day.

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