Youri McAnespie Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) The longest 'how the fuck have I got back to Bolton/home?' for me was from Morocco via Malaga by ferry, bus and plane and train and probably a taxi - I had a vague memory of watching Hancock (the Will Smith film not Tony) in Spanish whilst drinking heavily from a bottle of Kahlua from the duty free on the ferry back to Spain then autopilot must've kicked in - no recollection whatsoever of the rest of the journey home. Edited January 12, 2022 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted January 12, 2022 Members Share Posted January 12, 2022 Watching Wanderers in Madrid. Flight home. Madrid - Brussels - Birmingham - Manchester Absolutely steaming the entire way home, Bolton Train Station some tit probably Marc Iles asking could we describe our experiences in Madrid, me sporting a fuck off bruise courtesy of the local akela. The amount of walks home from Bolton town centre and no idea how I got home is frightening Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted January 12, 2022 Author Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) Once a mate was so pissed on the way back from Hawthorns, after you've both spent to the penny so a taxi is a no go, I was slightly less drunk so as we got to Morrisons car park on our stagger home and he was flagging I piled him into a stray trolley, I think I pushed him like an overgrown baby to Lever Street by which time he sobered up a bit. After that a blank - I woke up at home with smears of blood on the wall of my bedroom, but no injuries, and my mate said he woke up in his next door neighbour's shed - she'd been taken into a nursing home, so the house was unoccupied, he'd kipped on a sunlounger in there - in December. Edited January 12, 2022 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted January 12, 2022 Members Share Posted January 12, 2022 Flight back from Benidorm on my own surrounded by a stag do. Longest and shorteat flight in the memory of man. Took me 2 weeks to get over that girls weekend away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freds dad Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 Coming back from watching us in Bulgaria. I remember us scoring and the next thing was being woken up on the plane when coming in to land at Manchester. How I got from the ground to the airport and on the plane to Manchester I’ve no idea. It still worries me to this day what could have happened to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimron Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 Working on site Walthamstow Christmas do West End Yates Wine Lodge Get taxi to digs in Acton Vague recollection of old bill taking wallet off me to pay taxi Phone Box in Dartford 5 AM Get train Wake up in sidings in Kilburn Sod it, go to work Breakfast in canteen on site From then on my nickname was always "Taxi", I was site engineer so whenever anyone wanted a line or level they would shout "Taxi"... name stuck with me for 10 years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 Took me 8 hours to find my hotel in Bristol. Only recollection I have is duel carriageways, being near the football ground at two separate times and being in some little village type place. I started at the city centre premier inn and needed to get to temple meads. Bet they arent ten mins apart. Got in and my dad was ready for setting off. I walked that far I had blisters on my heels. He thought Id pulled and stopped out. Horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Cheese Posted January 12, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted January 12, 2022 About 15 years ago I got on a flight from Manchester to Chicago a bit pissed - fell asleep before take off, and woke up just after it landed. It was fucking brilliant. Genuinely felt like I'd been teleported. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent_white Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 My mate woke up on the grass in the middle of a roundabout once. He was in Spain and someone had stolen his, shoes, wallet and phone - and the tarmac was too hot for him to walk on so he had to wait there all day till the sun started going down! 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not in Crawley Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) Lunchtime session at work, got put in a taxi as was leathered. Apparently decided I needed a piss at a traffic lights. Next thing I remember I'm trying to buy weed off some bloke (of course he sold me nutmeg) No idea how I got in but woke up with bird shit and feathers all over my coat (have a mental picture of a bridge that I bounced off the walls walking home) No laptop (thankfully the uber driver still had it) and it was a Tuesday, middle of summer (edit: wasn't it was einter, hence the Xmas show- that was another night out with work) so had to haul myself into work and go to my youngest Christmas show o the afternoon. The twats at work convinced me I'd taken a conference call from a client (I was looking after an exhibition about Nelson Mandela) and tried to get everyone on the call to sing 'Free Nelson Mandela' and hung up when I was the only one getting the 'vibe'. Was shitting myself. Was only about 3 years ago that. Never again. Edited January 12, 2022 by Not in Crawley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted January 12, 2022 Author Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) 36 minutes ago, Cheese said: About 15 years ago I got on a flight from Manchester to Chicago a bit pissed - fell asleep before take off, and woke up just after it landed. It was fucking brilliant. Genuinely felt like I'd been teleported. I flew to Santander via Madrid and was tired and emotional - I somehow got to Somo via bus and ferry, was dying for a piss so jumped into some shrubbery and hit my head on some hydration pipe and decided a little al fresco nap was needed, woke up and no wallet, made my way back to the airport and it was shut, so I dossed down for a bit there, I have a vague recollection of someone nicking my kitbag - but bizarrely they tenderly covered me in a fleece sheet (theirs not mine) and I had a bit more kip. When I woke about 2am I went to the road and tried to flag a taxi but none were stopping so I stood in the road waving the fleece like a matador, the next car was old bill - they gave me a lift to a hotel where they knew me and explained my predicament in crap Spanish - I think I had cash money for one night, went back to the airport next day and some female security guard came marching purposefully over berating me in Spanish waving my wallet. Only one card left in it... Enough to partially see me through, I had to get clothes, I pawned my watch and phone... I saw the trip out even though I ended up in a flophouse to conserve the little money I had, and slept rough for a night in Madrid on the way home, some of those prossies near Calle De La Montera are really nice girls. They bought me some beers off the street sellers. I love Madrid. Good times. Edited January 12, 2022 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted January 12, 2022 Members Share Posted January 12, 2022 Malia Spooted this lass at the bar, try to stay hello quickly realise she was a Johnny Foreigner, her mate comes over speaks better English , find out she’s Norwegian, few drinks later I’m stood with them both, ask me if I want to walk with them Remember being on a beach, skinny dipping , one gets out the water and both start running off, I’d been done took everything I had and I’m bollock naked Got to a sun lounger and there was a small towel , fell asleep then some security guard waking me up telling me to move Started walking towards this bar, this chap was bringing in chairs he shouts Oi Oi ! woman comes out and they both start laughing at the state of me. Gave me a pair of shorts and pointed me in the direction he thought my hotel was, another few hours later and im finally back at my hotel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted January 12, 2022 Author Share Posted January 12, 2022 35 minutes ago, Rudy said: Malia Spooted this lass at the bar, try to stay hello quickly realise she was a Johnny Foreigner, her mate comes over speaks better English , find out she’s Norwegian, few drinks later I’m stood with them both, ask me if I want to walk with them Remember being on a beach, skinny dipping , one gets out the water and both start running off, I’d been done took everything I had and I’m bollock naked Got to a sun lounger and there was a small towel , fell asleep then some security guard waking me up telling me to move Started walking towards this bar, this chap was bringing in chairs he shouts Oi Oi ! woman comes out and they both start laughing at the state of me. Gave me a pair of shorts and pointed me in the direction he thought my hotel was, another few hours later and im finally back at my hotel But a good trip then? The best trips are when women of ill-repute thieve from you when you're under the misapprehension you could even perform. Re: Prostitutes, there was a Romanian girl in Madrid, only about 20, she used to go in some Chinese shop to drink a few Mahou before she went to work - she was stunning, really stunning, no I didn't although I thought of doing a Travis Bickle. With every trip (to Madrid) she looked worse - a fucking tragedy, anyone who uses prostitutes is a bastard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieb Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 56 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said: Lunchtime session at work, got put in a taxi as was leathered. Apparently decided I needed a piss at a traffic lights. Next thing I remember I'm trying to buy weed off some bloke (of course he sold me nutmeg) No idea how I got in but woke up with bird shit and feathers all over my coat (have a mental picture of a bridge that I bounced off the walls walking home) No laptop (thankfully the uber driver still had it) and it was a Tuesday, middle of summer (edit: wasn't it was einter, hence the Xmas show- that was another night out with work) so had to haul myself into work and go to my youngest Christmas show o the afternoon. The twats at work convinced me I'd taken a conference call from a client (I was looking after an exhibition about Nelson Mandela) and tried to get everyone on the call to sing 'Free Nelson Mandela' and hung up when I was the only one getting the 'vibe'. Was shitting myself. Was only about 3 years ago that. Never again. Was reading this thinking it was a nice tale of the hard drinking 90s media London. Then you mentioned uber! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted January 12, 2022 Members Share Posted January 12, 2022 3 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said: But a good trip then? The best trips are when women of ill-repute thieve from you when you're under the misapprehension you could even perform. Re: Prostitutes, there was a Romanian girl in Madrid, only about 20, she used to go in some Chinese shop to drink a few Mahou before she went to work - she was stunning, really stunning, no I didn't although I thought of doing a Travis Bickle. With every trip (to Madrid) she looked worse - a fucking tragedy, anyone who uses prostitutes is a bastard. Yeah Malia was great, only lost my wallet which had my funds for that night, only had a shitty phone then which I left in the room didn’t need it, simpler times Stayed in a hostel in Krakow, shared a tv room with these Canadian girls , I had too much polish vodka and the lads didn’t wake me , woke up to the sound of these gals getting ready to go out. I went out with them instead Had a drunken walk home with them when the sun came up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted January 12, 2022 Author Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) I arrived at some posh hostel in Hamburg in the snow and checked in, I went to the room to leave my kit and get out for a beer, nobody in except for this Brazilian girl who came over dressed in not a lot and was sniffing a make-up wipe, fucking stunning making smalltalk and knowing how fit she was - why was she in bed at 11pm then talking to a stranger? I'd not had a beer since Manchester so left and then two beers in thought 'you daft prick'... That scene is one of many that will be replayed in HD on my deathbed. Edited January 12, 2022 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted January 12, 2022 Author Share Posted January 12, 2022 14 minutes ago, Rudy said: Yeah Malia was great, only lost my wallet which had my funds for that night, only had a shitty phone then which I left in the room didn’t need it, simpler times Stayed in a hostel in Krakow, shared a tv room with these Canadian girls , I had too much polish vodka and the lads didn’t wake me , woke up to the sound of these gals getting ready to go out. I went out with them instead Had a drunken walk home with them when the sun came up Sweden is ace - all the blokes stand on one side of the room discussing Gothenburg Metal and AIK, the girls on the other side thinking 'wankers', a GL nobhead is like Casanova there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted January 12, 2022 Members Share Posted January 12, 2022 Just now, Youri McAnespie said: Sweden is ace - all the blokes stand on one side of the room discussing Gothenburg Metal and AIK, the girls on the other side thinking 'wankers', a GL nobhead is like Casanova there. When we going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted January 12, 2022 Author Share Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Rudy said: When we going? June. I'll have to source a charger for a Sony Walkman phone to contact those girls. Seriously the blokes think they're Vikings - a Brit or a Frenchman etc. could take their picks (yes picks) that's why Wilhelmsson married/conned a russian girl, Scandinavian blokes have all the charisma of a donner kebab bought pissed on Friday, forgot about, uneaten and binned on Sunday. Edited January 12, 2022 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not in Crawley Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 9 hours ago, stevieb said: Was reading this thinking it was a nice tale of the hard drinking 90s media London. Then you mentioned uber! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 Depending on your point of view if its a good thing or not but liquid lunches aren't a thing of the past with some of the older media lot. Sadly, it's not as common as it was, where you could get the best deals with a few pints. Having said that, our traditional media team are old friends and are still making their deals after all dayers. Not sure how their livers have coped after 30 odd years of doing that. One of them had to go to GA and AA, they've stopped the gambling but not the boozing! Had a call from another before christmas saying they were a bit peaky as they'd not eaten other than a few bags of crisps since Wednesday, just boozing really, it being Friday afternoon at this point. Goes to show why I was put in an uber, can't keep up with them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 2 hours ago, Not in Crawley said: Depending on your point of view if its a good thing or not but liquid lunches aren't a thing of the past with some of the older media lot. Sadly, it's not as common as it was, where you could get the best deals with a few pints. Having said that, our traditional media team are old friends and are still making their deals after all dayers. Not sure how their livers have coped after 30 odd years of doing that. One of them had to go to GA and AA, they've stopped the gambling but not the boozing! Had a call from another before christmas saying they were a bit peaky as they'd not eaten other than a few bags of crisps since Wednesday, just boozing really, it being Friday afternoon at this point. Goes to show why I was put in an uber, can't keep up with them! My brother and best pal have recenlty spent nearly a decade in the exact same environment. One in the world of accounting and the other insurance. Out in a different city each day, schmoozing over contracts on liquid lunches in fancy restaurants. My bro is now teetotal, 18 months in after the mental and physical torment. My mate went through a divorce settlement Ray Parlour would be proud of Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErnestTurnip Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 I once got in after the greatest trippy walk home I could possibly have had and lay down and was back outside walking home. Ended up barricading myself in my room so that when I had a lucid moment I knew I was safe and inside but when I was back in the world beyond I was walking outside again. One of the best and worst nights ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escobarp Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 Hiding under my bed in Amsterdam as I believed the pigeons outside my room were some sort of secret agents. Started when I came out of a bar to go back to hotel and two of the bastards followed me down the street or so it seemed. Tried to lose them by jogging and then ended up at dam square where there was thousands. Sent me properly under. Back to hotel and two were perched on window ledge and that was me under the bed until my mate came back and went and woke half the hotel up to come and look at me. I had built a den with all the duvets and pillows under the bed. bad times. Still give me the fear the little twats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DazBob Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 NYE 31st Dec 1999. Went down to my mate's in Nottingham and we got stoned before we went out. Really fucking stoned. My only memory of the night after about 9pm was the midnight celebrations. Fast forward about 7 hours and I wake up in a strange bed with a girl I'd never set eyes on before and there's a used johnny on the floor next to my side of the bed. I try to get up quietly so I can sneak out (she's wasn't the best looking girl I'd ever been with) but can't find my shirt or jeans. She nonchalantly turns over and says, "If you're looking for your clothes they're in the wardrobe. You took them off and hung them up, bit weird". I then get dressed and say I'm just going for a piss, I go to the bathroom ... just as my mate is coming out. He also had no idea where he was or how he'd got there but he'd woken up in bed with her mate and also had no recollection. We both then scarper, wondering how we're going to get back to his house ... but as we walk outside he realises we're about 2 minutes walk from his house. I don't think I've ever been date raped before, but this smelled of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted January 13, 2022 Moderators Share Posted January 13, 2022 nothing specific, but plenty of times I've been on a night out, getting leathered, the last thing I remember is being out then woken up and shot up in bed at 2pm the next afternoon and thought "what the fuck?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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