Rudy Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) At school I worked up the courage to see if this lass who I had obsessed over would get off with me at the cinema at the weekend. She said “I only go out with older lads” Anyways today, I seen her and her fella. He was wearing Crocs. In public. Rudy 1 Slag 0 Edited February 10, 2022 by Rudy Quote
Dimron Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 "I'm not going out with a kid"... "sorry love, didn't know you were pregnant"... the old ones are the best Quote
kent_white Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 4 minutes ago, Rudy said: At school I worked up the courage to see if this lass who I had obsessed over would get off with me at the cinema at the weekend. She said “I only go out with older lads” Anyways today, Today I seen her and her fella. He was wearing Crocs. In public. Rudy 1 Slag 0 I was once dumped in favour of a white man with dreadlocks Slag 1 Kent 0 Quote
Rudy Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 1 minute ago, kent_white said: I was once dumped in favour of a white man with dreadlocks Slag 1 Kent 0 Kent 0 @Not in Crawley 1 (He looks the sort) Quote
DazBob Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 2 minutes ago, kent_white said: I was once dumped in favour of a white man with dreadlocks Slag 1 Kent 0 @frank_spencer? Quote
kent_white Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 1 minute ago, Rudy said: Kent 0 @Not in Crawley 1 (He looks the sort) No - he was about 6 foot 4 and wore fisherman's pants..... Crawley is about 6 foot 4 and wears a cravat! 🙂 Quote
Cheese Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) When I was about 14, I plucked up the courage to finally ask this girl out who I'd had my eye on for ages. Knocked on her front door and luckily she answered rather than her dad. I said "Hiya Katie. Will you go out with me?" and she replied "I'll think about it". My highly-anxious and disappointed brain immediately went "For fucks sake, you fucking cunt". I'm sure the insult was self-deprecating, but my mouth said the words out loud, beyond my control. "For fucks sake, you fucking cunt". Understandably, she went "FINE THEN! NO!" and slammed the door. Edited February 10, 2022 by Cheese Quote
Rudy Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 10 minutes ago, kent_white said: No - he was about 6 foot 4 and wore fisherman's pants..... Crawley is about 6 foot 4 and wears a cravat! 🙂 Fisherman pants? You mean waders? You got binned for Gary Oldman in True Romance in waders? Crikey. Quote
gonzo Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 On Wednesday a fire engine appeared next to a job I was working on. They were investigating an alarm at a hotel. As one of the firemen walked past me I said "let me know if you need any water mate" in the finest dad joke fashion. He looked at me sqaurely, said nothing, didnt even flinch a face muscle and walked off. Fireman 1 Gonch 0 Quote
Rudy Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 2 minutes ago, gonzo said: On Wednesday a fire engine appeared next to a job I was working on. They were investigating an alarm at a hotel. As one of the firemen walked past me I said "let me know if you need any water mate" in the finest dad joke fashion. He looked at me sqaurely, said nothing, didnt even flinch a face muscle and walked off. Fireman 1 Gonch 0 Quote
Spider Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Interesting read this thread. Not an emotion I'm familiar with, you see, so good to learn new things. Spider. Making Youri look like a fire damaged Rocky Dennis since 1988. Quote
Tonge moor green jacket Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 6 minutes ago, Spider said: Interesting read this thread. Not an emotion I'm familiar with, you see, so good to learn new things. Spider. Making Youri look like a fire damaged Rocky Dennis since 1988. The Spider method. Quote
frank_spencer Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 45 minutes ago, DazBob said: @frank_spencer? I mean who wouldn't find this hunk irresistible Quote
Spider Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 22 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said: The Spider method. They LOVE it. Quote
bolton_blondie Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 4 minutes ago, frank_spencer said: I mean who wouldn't find this hunk irresistible Kris kross will make ya jump jump Quote
frank_spencer Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said: Kris kross will make ya jump jump Was aiming for the Brian 'Head Welch from Korn look missed massively Edited February 10, 2022 by frank_spencer Quote
bolton_blondie Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 I was a fuck ugly teenager. Still a fuck ugly adult (thank christ for make up) This thread is bringing back bad bad memories. Quote
Dimron Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 1 hour ago, kent_white said: I was once dumped in favour of a white man with dreadlocks Slag 1 Kent 0 Got dumped for a Chemistry Teacher who she met at the squash club. Turned out her mum was a better shag though Quote
bolton_blondie Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 4 minutes ago, Dimron said: Got dumped for a Chemistry Teacher who she met at the squash club. Turned out her mum was a better shag though Christ i just spat out my brew everywhere 😂 Quote
Tonge moor green jacket Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 8 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said: Christ i just spat out my brew everywhere 😂 Then he woke up... a decent wet dream. Quote
Not in Crawley Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 1 hour ago, kent_white said: No - he was about 6 foot 4 and wore fisherman's pants..... Crawley is about 6 foot 4 and wears a cravat! 🙂 He's right you know. I do. Quote
Youri McAnespie Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Fire damaged Rocky Dennis? Remember you chose to share a photo of yourself with your bumboy Tim Burgess. I blow girls out as I'm an adonis, I blew out a Miss England finalist. Quote
Rudy Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 33 minutes ago, Spider said: They LOVE it. Move your legs! Too soon? Quote
Not in Crawley Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Not so much getting blown out, but when my first serious girlfriend shagged a skateboarder from Loughborough behind my back, that was tough to take. Thankfully I found out on a friday night so got massively stoned. Then went on a bit of a he-slut period shagging anythig with a pulse. Not great times all told. KW and I have shared a lady (not at the same time, mind you) looking back, I don't think either of us treated her all that well. I have also been publically shamed in print for my dalliances. Never cheat on a girl who is highly emotional, highly intelligent and after Cambridge will go on to make her living writing poetry. Odd being a subject of a radio 4 documentary. Still, its all life's rich tapesty. Quote
Rudy Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 A skateboarder from Loughborough, a white Rasta who wore waders @Not in Crawley @kent_white what kind of fuckin circles did you two roll in Like Grange Hill ffs 😂 Quote
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