Site Supporter RONNIE PHILLIPS Posted December 11, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted December 11, 2021 Nothing actually happened thankfully but being driven back from Brentford by someone who had used his drivers wages to buy smack wasn't great for the nerves 😊, especially when he was convinced the motorway bridges were closing in on him! Pretty sure Leigh White was on that minibus. We'd had to wait for Ferny to be let out of the nick only for Zozzy to get nicked for pissing on the Cop shop wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Faustus Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 earlier today, i convinced my missus i had swapped my fleetwood ticket for today. i assured i would behave and be home for tea. ive just rolled in and snaffled every morsel from the oven/grill/pan etc. fuck knows what was cooked, and i'm guessing some wasnt for me. if the food doesnt get me im sure she will Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not in Crawley Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 7 hours ago, Dr Faustus said: earlier today, i convinced my missus i had swapped my fleetwood ticket for today. i assured i would behave and be home for tea. ive just rolled in and snaffled every morsel from the oven/grill/pan etc. fuck knows what was cooked, and i'm guessing some wasnt for me. if the food doesnt get me im sure she will Dead man walking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athywhite1958 Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 (edited) I did 2 days in intensive care in Germany in September after a car hit us from behind sending us spinning across the A2 autobahn, how we got out of it i'll never know, out of the three of us in the car I was the only one injured Edited December 12, 2021 by athywhite1958 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Faustus Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 14 minutes ago, athywhite1958 said: I did 2 days in intensive care in Germany in September after a car hit us from behind sending us spinning across the A2 autobahn, how ewe got out of it i'll never know, out of the three of us in the car I was the only one injured Why the fuck did you have a sheep with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athywhite1958 Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 16 minutes ago, Dr Faustus said: Why the fuck did you have a sheep with you? 😀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 I rolled a Jackson’s Van Hire Crew bus over on the motorway hard shoulder once. Luckily the other lads got a lift home in a car, they’d of been in a bad way with it being a crew bus, must of rolled a few times and I can still see the stones and gravel hitting the windscreen like intense halestone. The van was on its side and the passenger had to unbelt me and hold me up so I didn’t drop on him. The police breathilised me and checked my eyes as I’d been watching Pink Floyd at Earle’s Court. Split second madness, really was. Wouldn’t say I nearly died, but I could of come close to it easily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted December 12, 2021 Members Share Posted December 12, 2021 Me today. From alcohol poisoning. This is fucking horrendous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 44 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said: Me today. From alcohol poisoning. This is fucking horrendous. Sensing a recurring theme here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted December 12, 2021 Members Share Posted December 12, 2021 19 minutes ago, Traf said: Sensing a recurring theme here. Blocks out the pain and misery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 1 hour ago, bolton_blondie said: Me today. From alcohol poisoning. This is fucking horrendous. Have a wank then a maccies followed by a giant bottle of full fat coke then go for a pint. Sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 12 minutes ago, gonzo said: Have a wank then a maccies followed by a giant bottle of full fat coke then go for a pint. Sorted. Gonzo I love you but please never say 'maccies'. Without going all coal shovel and sandals - fucking loads of times. Had the last rites three times - once off a Proddy vicar because my late old man was unreligious and didn't know fuck all. Sometimes I think I am a goner and life is a dream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainmed Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 (edited) Pissing and shitting blood. Lost over 2 stone in weight, and I couldn’t afford to. Felt like death. Thought I had the big C. After numerous tests, It was in fact diagnosed as severe food poisoning, compactablyer jejune!! Off work 3 months. Edited December 12, 2021 by captainmed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DazBob Posted December 12, 2021 Members Share Posted December 12, 2021 8 minutes ago, captainmed said: Pissing and shitting blood. Lost over 2 stone in weight, and I couldn’t afford to. Felt like death. Thought I had the big C. After numerous tests, It was in fact diagnosed as severe food poisoning, compactablyer jejune!! Off work 3 months. Amazing what you can catch off a Phillipino's cock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted December 12, 2021 Members Share Posted December 12, 2021 5 hours ago, gonzo said: Have a wank then a maccies followed by a giant bottle of full fat coke then go for a pint. Sorted. Didn't work. I'm still shaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter RONNIE PHILLIPS Posted December 12, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted December 12, 2021 23 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said: Didn't work. I'm still shaking. Shaking who's? 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DazBob Posted December 12, 2021 Members Share Posted December 12, 2021 28 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said: Didn't work. I'm still shaking. You need to keep going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 28 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said: Didn't work. I'm still shaking. There is no fat in Coke. Get a gnt down you. Or a screwdriver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 1 hour ago, DazBob said: Amazing what you can catch off a Phillipino's cock. Point of order - Captainmed has liaisons with Thai 'girls' and strictly round the back and no eye contact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, captainmed said: ....After numerous tests, It was in fact diagnosed as severe food poisoning, compactablyer jejune!! Off work 3 months. Miamiwhite likes this. Edited December 12, 2021 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escobarp Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 Swallowed my tongue after getting knocked out hitting my head on the kerb, and luckily one of my mates followed me round the corner and saved my life , literally. for some reason I decided to take the hump with 3 lads who had said summat to me. Not the wisest move I’ve ever made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 13 minutes ago, Escobarp said: Swallowed my tongue after getting knocked out hitting my head on the kerb, and luckily one of my mates followed me round the corner and saved my life , literally. for some reason I decided to take the hump with 3 lads who had said summat to me. Not the wisest move I’ve ever made. Three? Only three? You pufter, no Jasmine Jae for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter RONNIE PHILLIPS Posted December 12, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted December 12, 2021 32 minutes ago, Escobarp said: Swallowed my tongue after getting knocked out hitting my head on the kerb, and luckily one of my mates followed me round the corner and saved my life , literally. for some reason I decided to take the hump with 3 lads who had said summat to me. Not the wisest move I’ve ever made. They tell you to get your round in? 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kane57 Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 Sunderland away midweek a few years ago, when Darren Bent scored after a few seconds (or so it felt like). Was on the club bus and the driver fell asleep for a few seconds on the way home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErnestTurnip Posted December 12, 2021 Share Posted December 12, 2021 Half house brick to the face, slowly bleeding internally for about a week before it finally burst and my bedroom ended up looking like summat out of a horror film. Was told it was a 50/50 affair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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