SatanGreavsie

get this mon in FA Cup: Jamie Cureton, the ex-Premier League striker playing at 49 - BBC Sport

Just checked on the 11v11 site (fucking ace resource that) and we were still top on the 14th September. It was only the next day we fell to 2nd behind Arsenal.

'kin'ell I now feel old. And famous people younger than me should please stop dying!

Just checked and 22 years on it for me come October. Main memory of the Rivals switch was chatting, in real life, to a poster who bemoaned the username he'd come up with for the latter. "BWFC Underpants". He was hoping to come up with something much less silly for WWs. 😄 First main memory of the real power and usefulness of the board came with Europe. Would have been more hassle and less enjoyable if we hadn't had WWs. Bloody hell, Plovdiv will be 20 years ago in a couple of months time!

What, Arthur's running the gaff?

Aye, they've signed Arthur Gnahoua.

Get Prof. Pat Pending off Wacky Races involved. He'd have an accordion bus or summat - top deck gets lowered at the flick of a switch. Sign on the stairs saying top deck is only for kids and midgets.

Handy Ofcom guide Public attitudes towards offensive language on TV and Radio: Quick Reference Guide

The Leap

Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from edge of space, dies paragliding - BBC News

hah, was just going to post that in a Frank Carson 1980 style. "Paddy and Seamus walking along the golf course. "Fore" they hear. "Keep your head down Paddy says Seamus. There's three more coming" "Irish fella goes into Kwikfit and asks "could I have one of them Mulliken Tyres". "hah hah hah, it's the way I tell them!". Etc etc etc

One for th'owd 'uns

For 450 notes I'd expect a Certificate of Authenticity stating they were hand sown on the naked lap of one of the naturist nuns of the Convent of St. Crispin* using only rare breed alpaca wool interspersed with their trademark pubes for every thousandth stich. Living a life of strict adherence to their vow of lack of clothes, the convent lies in a secluded valley north eat of Padua and is only ever visited by a Papal delegate twice a year, who collects the finished garments and confirms the sisters' strict adherence to their vows through thorough inspection. Such is the diligence of the delegate, visits are said to take up to a week to complete, sometimes longer. Indeed, in at least one instance, the delegate was never heard of again. * According to wiki, St. Crispin is the Patron Saint of cobblers, which this all is.

Sounds like the first line of a John Cooper Clarke poem. "I had a shit in the toilets in the Octogen today I tried to flush, but it wouldn't go away..." As performed on Granada's So It Goes hosted by Tony Wilson in 1976.

hah - I read that as "hoovered Iberico" and was imagining them vacuuming up hairs off the skin or summat. Was even going to google it, see if it was a thing! Thick cunt me.

Yeh, seems they announced it advance. Imagine the conversation: Supreme Leader Khamenei: "Aye up Donald, just to say we're going to be lobbing some ballistics your way." The Don: "How many?" SLK: "Yes, that's my name". "Now then cockers, don't worry we just need to be seen to be windmilling a bit" "Be over in time for me to watch Seattle Sounders v PSG tonight. Got a few cans in and everything" Don: "Did I ever tell you I was voted bestest soccer player in the school three years running? If it hadn't been for them pesky bone spurs I'd have turned pro". SLK: "Aye, well must fly. Bit like my missiles".

Always wondered - if someone came in and invested in them in them Wrexham style, how big could Truro get? As basically being Cornwall FC?

I can second all of that, especially the last line

Gonzo should rebrand himself "Lord of the Rungs".

Downforce city

yeh, us vs Spurs end of the first season back in the top flight was his last league game. Got announced and he got a round of applause as he came on doing his trademark diving action. Nice article about him (and some cracking clips of him in action in a link within it): Roger Kirkpatrick - Obituary oh and RIP to the big fella. Never thought I'd be genuinely sad at a ref's death. Is Barry bloody Knight still going?

There's nigh on a whole alphabet of possibilities here: Hash In The Attic - the Springwatch team challenge a suburban family to start a cannabis farm in their loft. All goes well until it turns out Chris Packham grasses them up after doing a runner with £50k worth of plants. Sash In The Attic - in attempt to foster unity, a NI Catholic family has a Protestant flute band stay in their loft for a month. To add balance it runs concurrently with "'RA In A Car" where a Protestant has to car share with a provisional IRA member for a week - with hilarious consequences. M*A*S*H In The Attic - a family from Garstang is challenged to help the NHS by running a Korean War type field hospital in their loft. Successful enough to warrant a sequel, Rash In The Attic, wherein a retired couple from Bury St. Edmunds have to run an STD clinic from their extension. Slash In The Attic - Guns'N'Roses axeman challenged to come up with two new tracks while ensconced in the loft of a lesbian couple from Peterborough. Ends on a sad note after one comes home to find him giving her partner a good seeing to in the airing cupboard. Daesh In The Attic - Bradley Walsh hosts the story of a Maidstone family who unwittingly hosted an ISIS terror cell in their recently converted loft after they gained entry claiming to be TV detector van operatives. Explosive finale... Trash In The Attic - heartbreaking story of a Birmingham couple who stored all their waste in the loft during the recent strikes, only to have it collapse the ceiling while they watched Bargain Hunt. Wiped their faces it did.

Interesting analysis here