Youri McAnespie Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 When you wake up with heartburn at 4am and instead of thinking "Maybe gorgonzola on toast at 1am wasn't the best idea..." You instead think... "I've been so sedentary, a clots's probably formed, broke free and I'm minutes from a Pulmonary Embolism..." Then gone and swigged heavily from a bottle of Amaretto as an emergency blood thinner... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted September 21, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted September 21, 2021 4 hours ago, 1969 said: What do you mean he's gonna be I only changed his glass units and he was lay on couch with his pants around his ankles moaning about his ball sack it's because my ball sack was round my ankles as well as my pants, but I must say you have a delicate touch for an old fella. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1969 Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 46 minutes ago, Spider said: it's because my ball sack was round my ankles as well as my pants, but I must say you have a delicate touch for an old fella. Old fella you cheeky bastard Got the energy of a 18 year old As well you know my little gimp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athywhite1958 Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 Feeling old and being old is fucking horrible😒 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted September 21, 2021 Author Members Share Posted September 21, 2021 Another sign of getting older is that I've noticed they don't give you flyers for clubs on nights out. 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatanGreavsie Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 when you realise you're older than both the current PM and the current James Bond. And that first happened to me 11 years ago ☹️ Oh and when it pisses down, and you realise you've just said "well it'll be good for the garden"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimron Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 I'm asking the family for Dignitas Vouchers this Christmas Used to be record tokens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErnestTurnip Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 Watching The Good Life on BBC4 and would rather shag the posh one than Felicity Kendal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Tonge moor green jacket Posted September 21, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted September 21, 2021 Seeing a lovely looking young woman within a family group, and thinking her mam looks a bit of alright too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 My birthday card said "Count the memories - not the candles" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted September 22, 2021 Author Members Share Posted September 22, 2021 My mums birthday today. She's 56. As a kid you always think of your parents as old. She's far from old the little minx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter only1swanny Posted September 22, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted September 22, 2021 There's another teacher at work with the same last name. A kid joked saying I was his Dad.. then I realised age wise.... Never a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted September 22, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted September 22, 2021 There’s a lot more scratching, the older one becomes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted September 22, 2021 Share Posted September 22, 2021 Itchiness = A failing liver. You're Welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted September 22, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted September 22, 2021 1 minute ago, Youri McAnespie said: Itchiness = A failing liver. You're Welcome. It's mainly my bollocks. Would that be the same thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted September 22, 2021 Moderators Share Posted September 22, 2021 10 hours ago, H said: My birthday card said "Count the memories - not the candles" And when you only get up to 3 and are consumed with regret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted September 22, 2021 Share Posted September 22, 2021 2 minutes ago, Spider said: It's mainly my bollocks. Would that be the same thing? Either shave them twice weekly or not at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted September 22, 2021 Members Share Posted September 22, 2021 3 hours ago, bolton_blondie said: My mums birthday today. She's 56. As a kid you always think of your parents as old. She's far from old the little minx. Leave it Rudy leave it. my morning piss is getting earlier and earlier 6:45 this morning Ill be in the 4am club and needing to do a second wipe soon enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted September 22, 2021 Share Posted September 22, 2021 When you notice the speed of life is way too fast nowadays. We need to fuck this antiquated time system some divs in togas invented. Make the days 2 hours longer and add an extra day to the week while we are at it. It's actually getting on my tits at the minute. Its the kids fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Tonge moor green jacket Posted September 22, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted September 22, 2021 Speed of life is way too fast. Technology has a lot to answer for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athywhite1958 Posted September 22, 2021 Share Posted September 22, 2021 5 hours ago, bolton_blondie said: My mums birthday today. She's 56. As a kid you always think of your parents as old. She's far from old the little minx. HBA............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not in Crawley Posted September 22, 2021 Share Posted September 22, 2021 Mum, 56? I can't wait until Blondie is actually old. Warning by the way, these are the good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MancWanderer Posted September 22, 2021 Share Posted September 22, 2021 8 hours ago, bolton_blondie said: My mums birthday today. She's 56. As a kid you always think of your parents as old. She's far from old the little minx. When your older than some posters parents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudy Posted September 22, 2021 Members Share Posted September 22, 2021 9 minutes ago, MancWanderer said: When your older than some posters parents Blondie is 46. Little lever for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter RONNIE PHILLIPS Posted September 22, 2021 Site Supporter Share Posted September 22, 2021 45 minutes ago, Rudy said: Blondie is 46. Little lever for you 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.