Leyther_Matt Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 21 hours ago, burnden said: Feeling a bit lost at the minute , struggling ....Mam been ill last 2 yrs passed away last Thursday , her sister passed away 3 days earlier , my mrs has been in hozzy five weeks now longest we have been apart in the 34 yr we've been together , worried about my old man 86 and deffo got some dementia ....meh life can get to fuck. I know you’ll be wanting to race around to do whatever you can for your Mrs and your dad, but make sure you give yourself some time to try and process everything and allow yourself to grieve. Take each day as it comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radcliffe white Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 I’m currently on a 2 day mental first aid course for our place Don’t think I was the best option tbh it takes some getting your head around Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted August 31, 2022 Moderators Share Posted August 31, 2022 27 minutes ago, radcliffe white said: I’m currently on a 2 day mental first aid course for our place Don’t think I was the best option tbh it takes some getting your head around I've done first aid courses in the past and always come to the conclusion if someone needed first aid in my presence i'd just call 999 and hover over them going "are you ok?" had a look at what mental health first aid is all about Mental Health First Aiders are trained to: Spot the early signs and symptoms of mental ill health. Start a supportive conversation with a colleague who may be experiencing a mental health issue or emotional distress. Listen to the person non-judgementally. Assess the risk of suicide or self-harm. fuck that, I'd be more like "are you alright? what's up? cheer up, be reet" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter only1swanny Posted August 31, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted August 31, 2022 35 minutes ago, radcliffe white said: I’m currently on a 2 day mental first aid course for our place Don’t think I was the best option tbh it takes some getting your head around Surely that's a full time job at that place 😛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter MickyD Posted August 31, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted August 31, 2022 5 minutes ago, Zico said: I've done first aid courses in the past and always come to the conclusion if someone needed first aid in my presence i'd just call 999 and hover over them going "are you ok?" had a look at what mental health first aid is all about Mental Health First Aiders are trained to: Spot the early signs and symptoms of mental ill health. Start a supportive conversation with a colleague who may be experiencing a mental health issue or emotional distress. Listen to the person non-judgementally. Assess the risk of suicide or self-harm. fuck that, I'd be more like "are you alright? what's up? cheer up, be reet" If a colleague came to me, however non-judgementally, asking what the matter was I’d think they were being a proper nosy cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Cheese Posted August 31, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted August 31, 2022 (edited) When I was an apprentice I got volunteered to be "the patient" on a Fire Training course. One of the trainee Firemen was clearly nervous as fuck, shaking like a shitting dog, and he put me in the recovery position and asked "Are you comfortable?". I was just as nervous as him, and without thinking I said "No, I'm on fire". It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. Edited August 31, 2022 by Cheese Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 51 minutes ago, radcliffe white said: I’m currently on a 2 day mental first aid course for our place Don’t think I was the best option tbh it takes some getting your head around They say that poachers make the best gamekeepers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter MickyD Posted August 31, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted August 31, 2022 8 minutes ago, Cheese said: When I was an apprentice I got volunteered to be "the patient" on a Fire Training course. One of the trainee Firemen was clearly nervous as fuck, shaking like a shitting dog, and he put me in the recovery position and asked "Are you comfortable?". I was just as nervous as him, and without thinking I said "No, I'm on fire". It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. We had a spell of using volunteer ‘actors’ from the Casualty Union. I use the term actors in the loosest possible terms. Fucking over-acting cockwombles is more like it. At an exercise at Sweetloves Water Treatment Plant on Belmont Road, one such actor had managed to squeeze himself between two fucking huge water pipes; just. We found him in an over-acting frenzy and was threatened that too much screaming and crying would result in us administering a hard slap. Actor got very upset about this threat but not nearly as upset as when we strapped him onto a stretcher and push him through a gap which wasn’t ever going to allow him AND a stretcher through. He ended up having to get up off the stretcher and squeezing back through. The debrief was fun when he complained. Fortunately his description of the firemen was blue tunic and yellow helmet which didn’t narrow it down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted August 31, 2022 Moderators Share Posted August 31, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zico Posted August 31, 2022 Moderators Share Posted August 31, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radcliffe white Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 3 hours ago, only1swanny said: Surely that's a full time job at that place 😛 Unfortunately around 70% of the workforce is experiencing some kind of difficulty, it’s only going to get worse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MancWanderer Posted August 31, 2022 Author Share Posted August 31, 2022 On 30/08/2022 at 11:24, burnden said: Feeling a bit lost at the minute , struggling ....Mam been ill last 2 yrs passed away last Thursday , her sister passed away 3 days earlier , my mrs has been in hozzy five weeks now longest we have been apart in the 34 yr we've been together , worried about my old man 86 and deffo got some dementia ....meh life can get to fuck. Jeez!! Pretty much echo what others have said. Hope that things improve in any way possible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MancWanderer Posted August 31, 2022 Author Share Posted August 31, 2022 Company I work for instituted a big Mental Health First Aider programme after a lot of folk were identified as suffering during lockdown. Woman who works for me volunteered Ironically, and in no way funny, her son walked into her bedroom in the middle of the night threatening to commit suicide, her beloved dog had to be castrated after a cancer diagnosis and she has her elderly mother living with her who she has to take for regular chemo. She’s been signed off for a month after buckling under it all. Some folk really do have a heap of shit thrown at them sometimes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomski Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 I seem to get unburdened on a lot. It’s quite annoying and I certainly don’t go looking to help but it’s good when you can see someone feels a bit better after speaking to you. I get this at work and in personal life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter only1swanny Posted August 31, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted August 31, 2022 3 hours ago, radcliffe white said: Unfortunately around 70% of the workforce is experiencing some kind of difficulty, it’s only going to get worse I know the driving side is really bad for MH .. can't believe how much it hit me. Saw it affecting others and its grim. It's not the company, think its just time on your own.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayoghani Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 (edited) Latest Rest is Politics podcast is very good, but rather sobering. Alastair Campbell explains his current depression. Edited August 31, 2022 by jayjayoghani Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyHWanderer Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 Ben Stokes documentary on Prime focuses on how he has struggled with his MH a lot. Was a really good watch even if you're not a cricket fan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayoghani Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 (edited) DP sorry Edited August 31, 2022 by jayjayoghani Idiot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matty2094 Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 (edited) Dementia can absolutely get to fuck. Without trying to sound naive/selfish, being one of the younger members on here, I never in a million years expected to have to go through having a parent with dementia this early in life. Just come home from a blazing row with my of retirement age dad who refuses to quit working full time to care for my mum. He doesn’t need the money but I can’t help but feel that work is his respite. The blokes worked full time for the same place for over 50 years - probably doesn’t want to give it up. The fact that the grill and hob have both been left on during the day by her, turned off by the carer and then he’s got home from work, she’s in the back street with nothing but an incontinence pad on, you’d think it would spur something but it just falls on deaf ears. I’m at a stage now where I don’t know what to do any more. I’ve got a tendency to just overwork myself constantly to stop myself stopping to think (if that makes sense) but there’s only so much bottling up one can take. I don’t really know what the point of this post is - it’s more of a vent really to an audience that won’t judge. Edited August 31, 2022 by matty2094 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MancWanderer Posted August 31, 2022 Author Share Posted August 31, 2022 (edited) It’s horrible. Had 10 years of it with my dad. Like your mum we had to encounter the most bizarre situations with him. Sounds like your dad needs help to understand what’s needed but I’m not the least bit qualified. Dunno who’s providing the carers for your mum but they might point you in the right direction regarding your dad? Hope you can find a solution. It’s a horrible situation to be in. A vent on here is never a problem. More folk than you realise have been through it or are going through it so like you say you won’t be judged Edited August 31, 2022 by MancWanderer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomski Posted August 31, 2022 Share Posted August 31, 2022 Sorry to hear that @matty2094 proper grim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Casino Posted August 31, 2022 Moderators Share Posted August 31, 2022 24 minutes ago, matty2094 said: Dementia can absolutely get to fuck. Without trying to sound naive/selfish, being one of the younger members on here, I never in a million years expected to have to go through having a parent with dementia this early in life. Just come home from a blazing row with my of retirement age dad who refuses to quit working full time to care for my mum. He doesn’t need the money but I can’t help but feel that work is his respite. The blokes worked full time for the same place for over 50 years - probably doesn’t want to give it up. The fact that the grill and hob have both been left on during the day by her, turned off by the carer and then he’s got home from work, she’s in the back street with nothing but an incontinence pad on, you’d think it would spur something but it just falls on deaf ears. I’m at a stage now where I don’t know what to do any more. I’ve got a tendency to just overwork myself constantly to stop myself stopping to think (if that makes sense) but there’s only so much bottling up one can take. I don’t really know what the point of this post is - it’s more of a vent really to an audience that won’t judge. Dont feel shit if a care home is the best option Your dad wont be able to provide 24 hour care Him giving up work might break him, remember Just my input based on a bit of experience. Theres much better qualified out there to give advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter only1swanny Posted August 31, 2022 Site Supporter Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 hour ago, matty2094 said: Dementia can absolutely get to fuck. Without trying to sound naive/selfish, being one of the younger members on here, I never in a million years expected to have to go through having a parent with dementia this early in life. Just come home from a blazing row with my of retirement age dad who refuses to quit working full time to care for my mum. He doesn’t need the money but I can’t help but feel that work is his respite. The blokes worked full time for the same place for over 50 years - probably doesn’t want to give it up. The fact that the grill and hob have both been left on during the day by her, turned off by the carer and then he’s got home from work, she’s in the back street with nothing but an incontinence pad on, you’d think it would spur something but it just falls on deaf ears. I’m at a stage now where I don’t know what to do any more. I’ve got a tendency to just overwork myself constantly to stop myself stopping to think (if that makes sense) but there’s only so much bottling up one can take. I don’t really know what the point of this post is - it’s more of a vent really to an audience that won’t judge. My dads 66, after a hospital stay and a monitor fitted (till they can fit a pacemaker), he's been told to retire.. he's fighting it all he can... He doesn't want to retire, wants to carry on working, as he says, he's worked for 52 years, most of it self employed. His Dad didn't live long after retirement and I reckon that's an underlying though, Someone I knew always said men generally don't last long after retirement, He retired and died about 2 years later.. It's a genuine concern of people that generation. Work is a coping mechanism for lots of people. My wife's twin died last week and she's looking forward to going back to work, purely as sitting around the house with little to do over the school holidays is taking it's toll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not in Crawley Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 My dad retired 20 years ago and has loved every minute the lucky sod. The trick is to keep very busy from what I've seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leyther_Matt Posted September 1, 2022 Share Posted September 1, 2022 23 hours ago, Zico said: I've done first aid courses in the past and always come to the conclusion if someone needed first aid in my presence i'd just call 999 and hover over them going "are you ok?" had a look at what mental health first aid is all about Mental Health First Aiders are trained to: Spot the early signs and symptoms of mental ill health. Start a supportive conversation with a colleague who may be experiencing a mental health issue or emotional distress. Listen to the person non-judgementally. Assess the risk of suicide or self-harm. fuck that, I'd be more like "are you alright? what's up? cheer up, be reet" Our mental first aider is back on phased return after six weeks off…with mental health issues Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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